Tuesday, November 03, 2009

BC-ACE Week 3: Let's All Overreact Starting...NOW!

(One more reason to hate Colt McCoy)

HOLY SHIT! The world is ending! USC lost its second game in the PAC 10 for the first time since Maximus Decimus Meridius defeated the evil King Commodus in the Roman Coliseum. Oregon is easily the best team in the nation now. That loss to Boise was a fluke. Did you see Texas? They are fucking awesome. They beat a great Oklahoma State team. The same Oklahoma State team that Damman said would win the National Championship and the Super Bowl this year...so they have to be legit. How about Iowa? They shouldn't even be in the top 10! I mean, it's one thing to nearly lose to both Northern Iowa and Arkansas State, but needing to score 77 points in the 4th quarter against Indiana to pull out the win is the last straw. Fuck them. And I have now been a resident deep in the taint of society(Hello Columbus!) for four days...Yes, the world is ending.

BC-ACE Rankings:
ACE's BOTTOM BITCH. Alabama. There is no way that they are giving up this spot after a bye week. It is total bullshit that they were dropped in the BCS rankings. Nick Saban has had two weeks to prepare for a game against his former team, LSU. I don't know what the spread is, but I will be amazed if LSU stays within 20. Saban is going to have his boys so jacked up out of their minds that Bama will leave no doubt about them being the #1 team in the nation.

2. Florida. How the fuck is Spikes not suspended for at least two games? If you take a swing at a player you are ejected from that game immediately and can possibly face further discipline the next week. And that is when you are swinging at people wearing A FUCKING HELMET! How the hell can you only get suspended for one half against Vanderbilt after trying to remove somebody's fucking eyeball? I'm all for somebody trying to give their best impression of Macho Man Randy Savage, but how about some goddamn consequences? Next thing you know Tim Tebow is going to be putting blitzing Defensive Ends to sleep with the Million Dollar Dream.

3. Texas. Oklahoma State isn't good, people. Why the fuck are people jizzing up their panties because Texas beat them like they were supposed to? Honestly, I wasn't that impressed. Texas' defense is very, very good. But that offense is bad. Oklahoma State actually out-gained them in total offense. Seriously. This team will get massacred by either Florida or Alabama.

4. TCU. How can you not be impressed with this team? This is what you ask of top quality teams, beat the shit out of the teams that they should beat the shit out of. No hiccups. No missteps. No scares. Beating the shit out of teams that you should beat the shit out of.

5. Cincinnati. They have played the last three weeks with a backup quarterback and have won with ease each week. Brian Kelly is awesome...he should probably coach in Ann Arbor.

6. Georgia Tech. A road win in SEC country is always good, and 600 total yards ain't bad either. Paul Johnson knows what the hell he is doing.

7. Boise St. Blah blah blah...they beat Oregon...blah blah blah.

8. Oregon. I really want to put them in front of Boise St., but that would just be stupid. Boise deserves to be in front of Oregon and they proved it on the field...and Legarrette Blount proved he belonged in San Quentin on that very same field. I can't wait for Blount to get back and go all Billy Cole in Autzen.

9. Iowa. All they do is win. It's not pretty, but they get it done. I hate to say this, but Iowa kind of reminds me of the Fuckeyes back win Fuckeye nation liked Tressel. But needing last second heroics against a bad Indiana team is unacceptable if you want to be a top 5 team. Sound familiar?

10. LSUPennStatePittUtahUSC. At this point, there is really no reason to have a number ten team. An addendum to the BC-ACE rankings: I can and will decrease the amount of teams in the rankings as the year goes on because these are my fucking rankings and I do what I want.

Here are the BC-ACE Week 2 rankings, read them before you comment...and then take an IQ test and only comment if you get above 100. Commenter Drew, I am going to need proof of this score before you comment...and it better not be in crayon.


Anonymous said...

Nice start last night AJ... I don't know whats worse, his start or Girardi deciding to start him on 3 days rest.


GMoney said...

Ace, what the fuck? How could you leave the Miami University RedHawks out of the top ten? WE ARE ON A WINNING STREAK.

Seal, that's AJ in a nutshell. He is awful on the road. It didn't matter how much rest he had.

Grumpy said...

I refuse to believe that Cincinnati could beat any of the teams ahead of them.

Mr. Ace said...

The Redhawks get no fucking mention. They beat our 3rd string QB by some bullshit review...how can you have a review in a MAC game? There are only two cameras in the entire stadium.

Grumpy, that is why Cincy is where they are...because they can't beat the teams in front of them. That's usually how rankings work.

Anonymous said...

Ace knows as much about college football as Dick Rod does. I thought maybe you would handicap Tate Forcier's Heisman chances for us too (yes I know Terelle Pryor has had a bad year) since you were fondling his balls a few weeks ago.

Georgia Tech at #6? Yeah, I'm going to wipe my ass with these rankings.


Mr. Ace said...

Georgia Tech at 7 last week was okay, but after a good performance they move up to 6 and you're all butt hurt?

OK STATE! OK STATE! OK STATE! Your college football knowledge is infinite.

Anonymous said...

It was not ok last week. I mentioned how awful the ACC was so I thought you would understand that was a knock on GT, but being a Toledo grad I guess I need to explain things a little better for you.

I took long shot on Okie St. I was dead wrong, oh well.


Anonymous said...

If you think Sikes should get 2 games, then what should Ortmann teh Michigan OL get for punching the Illini player in the balls? Of course Dick Rod says he shouldn't get anything because he was just pushing him off him. Riiiiight.

Damman...to answer your question...Forcier's odds of winning the Heisman are on the same level as Rashidi Wheeler's.


Dustin said...

How you don't have ohio state in the top 5 is beyond me. I mean they beat Illinois 30-0. yeah, its that same team that destroyed the greatest coach ever (richrod) and the greatest qb ever (forcier). If you don't believe how good michigan is, just go back a few weeks on the moneyshot. Ace will tell you all about tate, richrod, and the brewing dynasty.

GMoney said...

Brandon Sikes should be commended for his dirty play. It took me back to my playing days...