Monday, October 19, 2009

The Worst of Week 6 Vol.III


Gentlemen, the day has finally arrived. It is a day that I have been waiting for for a long, long time. Today is the day that Jim Zorn is fired. And it is about fucking time. The Redskins have played maybe the easiest first 6 game schedule in league history and sit at a robust 2-4. There is no doubt in my mind that the Skins will finish either 3-13 or 4-12. They suck. They suck bad. Who loses to the Chiefs at home anyway?

But I think we are being a little too hard on Zorn. It's not his fault that he is completely inept and unqualified to coach in the NFL. He didn't hire himself. He only took the job because no one else wanted it. This is on upper management...that fucking rat. This organization is Clippers-bad at the moment. From top to bottom, it needs an enema. But even an organizational enema may not get rid of all the shit. Ugh. And so long, Jason Campbell. You've had your chance and continue to fail. Good luck wherever you end up. Let's let The Golden Arm of Todd Collins start the rest of the way. I mean, he DID lead us to a whopping 6 points against the mighty KC D yesterday. There were other shitty people yesterday...probably not worse than the entire Redskins team though. Here they are:

5. Steve Hauschka - Nice missed kick yesterday, asshole. I'm sick of He'sjusthavingfunoutthere walking off the field with his hillbilly grin. It needs to be wiped away. Stupid Ravens kicker. By the way, what happened to the vaunted Ravens and Vikes defenses? They both got torched like the Wellington Hotel. And although the Ravens are now 3-3, I'm not writing them off yet. That is a good football team (I sound like Ron Jaworski). As far as the Vikings go, looks like the Stillers will be the first team to shut them up next week. That will be a damn good game by the way.

4. Kerry Collins - Get a load of this line: 2-12, -7 yards. The Drunk threw for NEGATIVE yards. The QB on the other side of the field threw for 380 and 6 td's, by the way. Wow, the Titans really are a shitty team. I mean epically bad. 59-0! How is that even possible? How do you give up 5 touchdown passes in one quarter...IN THE FUCKING SNOW! It's time to exhume the corpse of Vince Young. I can't wait for that. Dead man walking.

3. The Giants Defense - Whoa, I think we know who the best team in the NFL is. It is the Saints. They can not be stopped and their defense is good (the Vikes will be undone by Favre and the Colts defense is not that good). Gregg Williams knows his shit. As far as the Giants go, they pretty much mailed in that game. Super Bowl contenders should not be giving up 48 points to anyone. I noticed something yesterday, too. When they slo-mo a replay of Eli getting hit, he looks like the biggest retard on the planet. Even more than usual. It is hilarious.

2. Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid - Way to lose to the Raiders. Nice job. Nice fucking job. Mr. Ace better not have killed himself because how will I know who to bet against. How do you not score a TD on the Raiders? Well, let me tell you. The Raiders weakness is their rush defense. They have the best cornerback in the game. The Eagles must be dyslexic because Reid only called 12 running plays all game long. That's it. Remember how everyone said that the Eagles were Super Bowl contenders and that Mike Vick was going to push them over the top? Yeah, they aren't going anywhere. Their QB sucks too much. And THEY LOST TO THE RAIDERS!!! Get ready because they will be losing to Redskins on Monday Night next week (worst MNF game ever). We are in the usual phase of the season where McPuke sucks and the Redskins will rally around interim coach, Joe Bugel.

1. Mark Sanchez - Fuck the Sanchise. Fuck him in his stupid Mexican ear. Let me tell you a story. I was a pretty solid bet-man this weekend. I broke even on the college games and dominated the 1 pm NFL games. So I decided to break my usual trends and threw all of my winnings on the Jets -9.5. Actually, it was not a bet on the Jets, per se, but a bet against the Bills. The Bills are fucking rotten, if you recall. I was looking good at halftime. But then Sanchez decided to launch his second, third, fourth, and fifth interception. Fuck you, Mark! I am officially going to root against you every week now since you cost me a ton of money. And you lost to the Bills. Well done, dicksmack.

My only saving grace from the weekend was going 3-0 in fantasy. That is always nice. And since I have no team to root for anymore that has a chance at winning on the field, I am now left to focus on my fantasy players. God bless fantasy football and it's distraction from your team's inequities.

Zorn better be getting fired today. If I have to hear him say that "this offense is better than 6 points" again, well, I'm not going to like it. See! Zorn has me so frustrated that I can't even think of creative insults anymore.

11 comments:

GMoney said...

God dammit. That prick is just getting his play-calling "abilities" stripped. FUCK!!!

Anonymous said...

The Lions beat you.


--Drew

GMoney said...

Losing to the Chiefs is worse.

rstiles said...

Looks like Zorn will be around all year...

You know what they will do, they will fire Zorn in Week 14...I could never understand why fire a coach so late in the season...

Dustin said...

Everyone knows zorn is out this year, including him... Wtf are they waiting for? There is no point in keeping him around. How can players buy into what he's saying if they know hell be gone?

I wish osu would strip JT of his play calling duties! That would fix 1 of our 100 problems on offense at least.

Damman and drew- are you really that confident that well beat michigan?? We won't be able to take advantage of michigans pathetic D because our O is even worse.

Mr. Ace said...

First, you can't possibly fault McNabb for his performance. When you drop back 55 times and are getting hit every other one its not your fault. Why does Andy Reid have to do this every year? Every year we get to this point and then he eventually realizes that a 50/50 run-pass split is needed. So much for that long term extension they were talking about last week.
Jim Zorn is my hero.

How awful is the AFC east?

GMoney said...

Dut, the organization is retarded. That is your answer for why Zorn still has a job.

I fault McNabb because his team could not find the endzone against that staunch Raiders defense. And he is allowed to audible by the way.

Tony B. said...

Art Shell came back and coached the Raiders, so why wouldn't you bring Joe Bugel back to the 'Skins?

Put the Bears' goal line offense on that list, too. Just fucking terrible.

Anonymous said...

I like the Wellington Hotel reference, haha. Great way to work it into the blog.

-GSaul

GMoney said...

Thanks, GSaul, I was hoping that someone would get that 20+ year old arson reference.

Tony, if I wrote this post after the Sunday Nighter, I would have put Orlando Pace on here.

Anonymous said...

I have to disagree with the Eagles/Redskins being the worst MNF in history. How about the Browns/Ravens shitfest in three weeks?

-Damman