Monday, October 05, 2009

The Worst Of Week 4 Vol.III


Holy shit. AT&T was nice enough to give me a free preview of the NFL RedZone channel yesterday. It. Is. Awesome. You can't truly guage the greatness of this product until you see it. They only gave it to me from 1-4:15 yesterday but I never left the room for that period of time. Even when I had to piss, I left the door open so that I wouldn't miss anything. This angered the wife who made it quite clear that I was not allowed to purchase the RedZone channel. What is it? The NFL Network switches to every game whenever a team reaches the red zone. They toggle between games beautifully even when there are conflicting scoring opportunities. THEY TAKE NO COMMERCIAL BREAKS! Ever! It is 3+ straight hours of football. It is glorious. And if there are no teams in the redzone, no biggie, they just show you the best game currently being aired. I want this so bad. It would have been the best birthday present ever. But! But not everything was as great as the RedZone channel yesterday. Even with the start of the bye weeks, there was still enough shitty ass play to go around and discuss. I must do my duty and call out the worst of week four.

5. You Jim Zorn Haters - Suck on that sweet, sweet redemption, haters! The Skins are back! On "hump day" of their 5 straight weeks of playing teams with no wins (seriously), my Skins dominated a great Bucs team. OK, so that is not true, but we finally saw some glimpses of decent play in the second half. It took them 14 quarters, but things at least appear to be looking somewhat up. With the Panthers and Chiefs coming up the next two weeks, who knows, maybe we can be 4-2 heading into Philly. I'm not saying that the Skins are Super Bowl bound, but I do think that they can be competitive and finish ahead of Dallas. And that is all that I ask. Zorn is still going to be replaced by Mike Shanahan next year.

4. Jeff Fisher and the Tennessee Titans - All week, people were saying that this was the best 0-3 team of all time. You know, maybe they just suck. They haven't just been losing, they have been getting destroyed. Getting dick-raped by someone called Mike Sims-Walker does not tell me that they are just a victim of bad breaks. They are who we thought they were (at least now)...a team destined for a top 8 pick in the draft. Speaking of the AFC South, how awesome are the Colts? I have never understood how Indianapolis was considered a southern locale, but Indy is killing everyone. Have they wrapped up the division yet?

3. Kyle Boller - Jesus. This guy is terrible. If you aren't betting against the Rams every week, you should be committed. Remember when Brian Billick made this guy the face of his offense and banked on his success? That was hilarious. At least he can throw a ball 80 yards when he's sitting down. That is a skill that all QB's need! By the way, to all of you out there who think that wagering on NFL games is a crapshoot, let me give you a tip: bet against the Chiefs, Raiders, Rams, and Browns every week and you will make a ton of money. They can't set these lines high enough.

2. Mark Sanchez/Drew Brees - What a disappointing "shootout" this turned out to be. I am so thankful that the Sanchez lovefest can finally slow down. It was making me nauseous. And Drew Facemole, this is now two straight weeks without throwing a touchdown. Knock it the fuck off. Use your bye week to get your shit straight because if you continue this inconsistent play, you will be murdered by fantasy owners (Damman and Buke). That being said, the Saints are not just winning, but they are killing teams. This is most definitely a Super Bowl contender. Gregg Williams, even as a defensive coordinator, may have been the best free agent signing of the offseason.

1. Tony Romo - I fucking love watching this guy suck. And he does it oh so often these days. Tony Dorsett was right. Exactly who deemed this loser a superstar anyway? He has accomplished nothing in his career thus far (and never will) and actually was outplayed by The Kyle Orton Express yesterday. You know who gets outplayed by The Express? Kyle Boller and other people of that ilk...which now you can add Tony Romo to. This is delicious. Let's see here, Romo got Roy Williams killed with continuous high passes. He kept throwing crucial passes to something named a Sam Hurd. And on the biggest plays of the game, HE WAS THROWING AT CHAMP BAILEY!!! No one throws at Champ Bailey. He has been the best cornerback in the league for a decade now. Wherever you see him on the field, you throw to the other side. Stupidity. I love it.

There you go. Tough break for the Brownies yesterday. They outplayed the Bingles (Phil Simms-speak) and lose their tenth in a row (on their way to the record!). I really, truly believe that Graham missed that kick in overtime. Whatever, you still suck. At least it's obvious that DA gives you the best chance to win and it's time to start shopping that loser Quinn. But you know what doesn't suck? Me betting on the Giants, Bears, 49ers, and Broncos yesterday. 4 for 4!!! Beers on me*!!!

I am REALLY pumped for the Monday Nighter tonight. GO PACK GO!!! BREAK FAVRE's LEG!!! We will be back tomorrow talking some playoff baseball.

*Drinks not on me. You can buy your own PBR, fag.

11 comments:

Grumpy said...

I hate the small print. Cheap bastard.

GMoney said...

Grump, at least the Steelers looked awesome last night*. Willie Parker may have found a permanent spot on the bench.




*Except the 4th quarter defense

Tony B. said...

The Rams might be the most underrated horrible team. I don't think people realize how bad they are.

Clarkster said...

I still think that the raiders are the worst team in the league. There D is terrible and that fat fuck jamarcus is the second coming of ryan leaf

Anonymous said...

Speaking of bad teams...you know you are a bad team when Northwestern is favored by 23 points over you....they are favored by 23 over Miami of Ohio this weeekend.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Go Twins tomorrow night!!!!! What a choke job that would be by the Tigers. I would love every second of it.

Seal

Jeff said...

Shanahan will be in Dallas before hes in DC.

GMoney said...

Drew, it opened at 20.5. I will guarantee that we cover this weekend.

Shanahan is not going to go to work for Jerry Jones.

Jeff said...

Riiiight. Cause he would love to work for Dan Snyder. Either way with an uncapped year looming, the skins and the boys will be the big spenders trying to buy a Superbowl, making either destination a prime job.

MuDawgFan said...

G$,

What's the deal with Santana Moss?

He had horrible weeks one and two but seems to be turning things around the past two weeks?

I can't figure him out for the life of me and I'm hoping a knowledgeable Skins fan might be able to give some insight to a confuse fantasy owner of Moss

GMoney said...

Why anyone would ever draft Santana Moss is beyond me. He is fucking awful. Sell high on him because it's all downhill from here.