Wednesday, October 28, 2009

World Series (Homer) Preview

(Wait a minute, Swish! That champagne is not Korbel!!!)

Let's get this shit going! I'm beyond ready for this World Series to start. We all know the players involved and the obnoxious cities that accompany each team. It should be interesting at least based on the star power alone. I wonder how many times McCarver will tell us that someone told him that some day Robinson Cano will win a batting title. My guess is at least twice an inning. Let's breakdown the Phillies and the Yankees.

Offense - Pretty close actually. They both have big sticks and can play small ball when necessary. Both teams have guys that you can't get out right now with Howard and Baseball Jesus. The Yankees weakness in the lineup is the ice cold Swisher while I don't trust Carlos Ruiz and Pedro Feliz and whoever they use at DH.
Advantage - Yankees

Defense - I don't follow baseball closely enough to worry about fielding percentages. What I do know is that Mark Teixeira is an outstanding defensive first basemen, Jorge Posada is a terrible catcher, and the Yankees have rotten arms in the outfield. I know nothing of the Phillies in the field.
Advantage - Phillies

Starters - CC is by far the best pitcher in the postseason. AJ is an enigma and Pettitte is a bulldog. It will be interesting to see how Cliff Lee pitches tonight but I am not worried about Pedro and the erratic Cole Hamels at all. Sounds like both teams will be going with 3 man rotations. I have no idea why the Phils aren't starting JA Happ.
Advantage - Yankees

Bullpen - Mariano Rivera or Brad Lidge...who would you take? Lidge already blew two saves against the Yankees this year. The Yankees have better setup men as well.
Advantage - Yankees

Manager - Joe Girardi likes to consult his binders of doom. Charlie Manual likes to consult his jug of XXX moonshine and Charlie Daniels records. Neither of these guys are very smart. Girardi is much less smart.
Advantage - Phillies

Fans - Both of these teams have REAL baseball fans and I like a series in which a true fanbase can be rewarded. Philly fans and New York fans have their downfalls, but here is what I like. The Phils have the It's Always Sunny guys on their side. The Yanks have Nicholson, Jay-Z, LeBron, Kate Hudson, and Rudy G. Tough allegiance breaks the tie.
Advantage - Yankees

Awesomeness - The Yankees have shaving cream pies and Swish's mohawk. The Phillies have Matt Stairs (possibly my favorite player ever).
Advantage - Phillies

Annoyance - I hate Pedro Martinez with the fire of ten suns. Shane Victorino should (insert your own Hawaiian stereotype). The Yankees do not annoy me.
Advantage - Yankees

Deserving? - Both teams are more than deserving of a title. The Phils are going for a repeat and lost Harry Kalas this year. The Yankees have been exorcising their playoff demons this postseason. I have a feeling that if the Yanks pull this out, Bob Sheppard and Big Stein will die within the week.
Advantage - Push

What happens? - Everyone is picking the Yankees in 6 or 7. I am biased. I don't think it goes that long. This is the Yankees year. We all know it. We've all seen it. An team from the inferior NL isn't going to win back-to-back titles. The Yankees are going to win the World Series in 5 games. The starting pitching is just THAT much better. You can't start Pedro in a World Series in these days and expect to win. I like A-Rod to win the World Series MVP. I like Joe Girardi to win the least valuable manager award. Start spreadin' the news...the Yankees are winning another title. Suck on that, homos.


Anonymous said...

In the "Fans" category you mention how both teams have "real" fans and yet mention Kate Hudson, Lebron and Jay-Z. I guarantee not one of them could name 5 players on the Yankees.

I would say the Yankees and their fans deserve a title about as much as Rich Rodriguez deserves the benefit of the doubt, which is not at all.

Come on Phillies! Put these douchebags in their place.


Grumpy said...

I'm with Damman. Besides, it's football season and nobody cares.

Anonymous said...

Yes, me hate Pedro too...

Mr. Ace said...

I'm with Grumpy. Couldn't give a shit. I'm just hoping that shithole in the bronx collapses.

Dustin said...

I disagree ace and grumpy.. I think a lot of people give a shit. The alcs game 6 had better ratings that sunday night football.

I think this is going to be a great series. The only way this will end in 5 is if the umpires give it to the yanks again. Normally I would go with the AL team because it is a far superior league, but the phillies are really good! Phillies in 6!

I would rather have cliff lee than fatass sabathia.

GMoney said...

Lee over CC? Child please.

I run this site, assholes, and thus you WILL care about the World Series. Yankees = ratings.

Tony B. said...

I'm shocked that Nick Swisher doesn't have a tongue piercing. He seems like the kind of guy that would do that.

Anonymous said...

Listening to Pedro get abused AGAIN at Yankee Stadium never will get old.

"Whose your daddy??"

also, will the Injuns now be a force in the future since they signed the Washington National Mgr!
They truly are the mistake on the lake!