Tuesday, October 06, 2009

The Unnecessary 163 And Other Predictions

WARNING! Before I get to my playoff predictions, I have a tangent to unload.

Once again, it is a problem that I have with Bud Selig. We have a play-in game this afternoon for the AL Central crown and the priviledge to play the Yankees (likely tomorrow night). Why are we doing this again? The Twins have won 11 of the 18 games played this year. What more do they need to do to prove that they are the better team? It's like, "yeah, you completely dominated this team all season, but how about you do it again eventhough it is unnecessary and a waste of time." Tell me how this makes sense? Why even play regular season games if they don't matter which they clearly do not. We have a few readers who are Tigers fans. Do you all truly believe that you belong in the playoffs over a team that fed you shit sandwiches all season long? Of course you don't. And so if we see Slick Rick Porcello throw a gem today, the Tigers will be deemed the superior team after going 8-11 against the second place team. Makes sense, doesn't it? Fuck Bud Selig. We won't have to worry about that though as the Twins are going to win anyway. Three reasons why:

1. They have earned it.
-No backing in for these guys. They lost their best RBI man a month ago and they still keep it rolling. Quite impressive actually. Especially since they are doing it with a terrible pitching staff.
2. The Tigers don't deserve it.
-No team has ever blown a 3 game lead with 4 games left...until now. Before the final game of the season that the Tigers needed to win, Miggy Cabrera was out drinking all night (.26 BAL!!!) and then got his ass kicked by his wife. Does that sound like someone who deserves a shot at a championship?
3. A make-up for Little Big League.
-Ken Griffey, Jr. and Randy Johnson broke the heart of the Twins in the movie. The Twins get their revenge on Hollywood tonight. Lou Collins SICK!!!

So, I'm eliminating the Tigers. Fuck it. They're done and the Tigers fans know it. So we'll do a quick prediction post for all 4 division series starting with the shitty league.

Phillies over Rockies in 5 - I could see this going either way. The Rocks are really good and they have a couple hard-throwing studs in Jimenez and de la Rosa. If for some reason they can split in Philly, they've got a chance. They are playing almost exactly like they were two years ago.

Cardinals over Dodgers in 3 - Sweep. LA shot their wad too early this season. Manny has sucked ever since he stopped taking vagina enhancers. Their rotation is a mess. Billingsley is hurt, Kershaw is an unknown, and they are throwing Randy Wolf in game one. There is no way that the Dodgers can beat Wainwright and Carpenter twice in a 5 game series. When in doubt, go with the team with the best rotation, best player, and better manager. Yeah, I said it. LaRussa will own Joe Torre.

Red Sox over Angels in 4 - The Angels say that they are ready and that this is the year that they finally beat the Red Sox. Yeah, and this is the year that I finally stop beating off in Wendy's bathrooms. I'll believe it when I see it. Eventhough Beckett's back is fucked up, they are still just so much better. The Angels don't have a starter that you can hand the ball to and say "win me this game". They've got 5 2 starters but no ace. You need an ace to beat Boston. And this is why they will fail again. Although I will say this, Anaheim has a chance if Francona is dumb enough to start Varitek behind the plate.

Yankees over Twins in 3 - I'm very much looking forward to Carl Pavano pitching in Yankee Stadium in the postseason. That should be glorious. There is no way that the Twinkies can pitch or hit with the Yankees. It will be quick and painless and allow CC and A-Rod a chance to relax after a dominating three games. At least all pussy baseball fans will be able to root for the Twins for a few more days.

Thoughts? Picks? Old man fashioning a kayak out of a log?


Anonymous said...

How is going 7-11 against a team, getting "completely dominated all year long"? That makes no sense.

I don't have a problem with a play in game and I actually find them enjoyable to watch.

Miggy can take as many shots of Patron as he wants (I assume that's what he was boozing on).

Porcello pitches a perfect game today...mark it down.


Dustin said...

I also believe that the game is unnecessary. However, it benefits my team so I don't give a shit. I think last year they used a coin to determine who had home field and the twins got fucked. I believe they won the season series but had to play at chicago. Give bud credit for fixing half the problem!

All signs are pointing toward a twin victory. I think the pitching matchup favors the tigers, but we never win in the fucking dome. what a choke job

GMoney said...

I guess that a .389 winning percentage is good now, huh? The Twins also averaged a full run more per game than the Tigers over the 18 games. DOMINATION.

Scott Baker is better than Porcello so I have no idea what you two idiots are talking about.

Upstate Underdog said...

"No team has ever blown a 3 game lead with 4 games left"

As a Yankee fan this hit too close to home. Remember the 2004 ALCS. I'd like to forget about it.

Anonymous said...

How in the world is Scott Baker better than Porcello? He's 7 years older than him and still has a worse ERA than him this year. Not to mention that Baker has had a poor September, while Porcello has a 3.10 ERA since August 1st.


GMoney said...

Because he is and he was on my league champion fantasy baseball team this year! Age has nothing to do with it.

UU, completely unnecessary comment there, bud. You better watch yourself.

Jeff said...

What about the Blue Jackets 2-0 start for the first time ever! Stanley Cup here we come!

GMoney said...

Jeff, how sad is it that this is first ever 2-0 start in team history? Chasing Luongo out of the game in the 2nd last night was impressive though.

Would you like me to order Stanley Cup tickets now or to go find a spot on the championship parade route?

Jeff said...

Haha, I'll take a playoff win for starters. We do have good squad this year though. Lets just see if we can survive the first 10 games with 7 being on the road. So far, so good.

Anonymous said...

I feel like eating Mexican and drinking a 40 ouncer (or 2) today while watching the Tiger/Twin game!

Seriously, is this Miggy's cheap version of 'Roid's............ha

what a dipstick...........

3rdStoneFromTheSun said...

like your predictions!

hey? for some reason - blogspot cant read your rss feed?