Friday, October 16, 2009

I Blame Vince Young

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. It has come to my attention that college football just isn't the same anymore. The on-field product just isn't as entertaining as it once was. Fuck, it's boring. And I think that I can pinpoint exactly when and where everything went wrong. It seems that as soon as Texas won the national title in that epic game against USC, it has all gone downhill from that game. That game was the apex of the game's greatness and ever since, nothing has come close.

And this season isn't offering up much drama either. In fact, when the best game of the year is an 18-15 snoozefest in Columbus, we've got problems.

One thing that is killing the sport this year is the shitty QB play. Other than Jimmy Clausen and Tim Tebow, there are no BCS QB's playing at an elite level. And even Tebow hasn't been other-worldly. Bradford got hurt. McCoy has been mediocre. Matt Barkley has been average. The best QB in the Big Ten throws worse passes than the drummer from Def Leppard. Jevan Snead couldn't play in the Sun Belt. And the Taylor kid from Va Tech may as well not have arms at all. What happened to all the good/great QB's!!! In comparison, look at the NFL. Ratings have never been better and I like to think that the sicktitude of Brees, Favre, and the Manning Brothers have a lot to do with that. Quarterbacks drive interest and right now, when it comes to the college game, I have very little.

Let's also look at the top ten rankings and comment on the blandness of each team:
1. Florida - Yeah, they're a very good team but they haven't been dominant.
2. Alabama - I'll give them credit, Saban's team is destroying everyone. I love this. Don't play down to your competition. Come out firing every damn week.
3. Texas - See above except the Longhorns are the exact opposite. They struggled with a Colorado team last week that got blown out by Toledo.
4. Virginia Tech - Most boring team ever? Most boring team ever.
5. Boise State - I love the little guy but when you sleepwalk through wins over UC-Davis and Tulsa, you aren't one of the 5 best teams in the country.
6. USC - They beat Washington State by only 20 points. Despicable.
7. Ohio State - Great defense, piss-poor offense. The sad thing is, they are in prime position to lose a BCS title game by 40 points this year.
8. Cincinnati - If you can't beat my RedHawks by 40, you aren't THAT good.
9. The U - I'm not sure if these guys are truly for real...but at least they are enjoyable to watch.
10. LSU - They are Ohio State Lite. I think that their offense might be worse though.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that none of these teams feel truly elite. Which is leading to a dull season. Sure, upsets are great and all, but I don't think that it speaks to parity. It's just that none of these teams really that good.

I don't know. These things tend to be cyclical. Maybe we are just experiencing a few down years after a few great years. What I do know is that Sundays have become far better football days than Saturdays. Hell, the only game that I am actually looking forward to the rest of year is the SEC title game. Nothing else. Seriously. I'm sure that someone will come here in defense of college football talking about how it still a great product and to that I say this:

Try staying sober for a full Saturday of football and see how long it takes you to consider suicide. Go ahead, give it a try. I would bet that most of you would get the shotgun out at about halftime of the noon Big Ten games. Pam Ward does that effect on people.



Anonymous said...

Going through a college football Saturday sober? Who does that?

I agree that the quality of play in college football has dropped off the last few years. But the tradition and atmosphere at college stadiums and campuses is so much better than the big corporation feel of the NFL.


GMoney said...

Fucking IOWA has been the primetime ABC game TWICE this year. Think about that. That should never happen.

Anonymous said...

You are definitely a fag if you go through a college football saturday sober.

College Football is the greatest sport in the world. This post sucked worse than Falcon's escape.


GMoney said...

I don't and it isn't.

Mr. Ace said...


J Beanie said...

I'm back and this post fits perfectly with what I want to share with you.

My favorite part of my honeymoon (in Punta Cana) was after snokeling I had to take a shit so bad but there was no shitters. While in the ocean, I walked far away from everyone (I don't know if was far enough away to be that "creepy guy over there" or not) and proceeded to pull my bathing suit off just enough to hang my asshole out. And then, yes... I pooped in the ocean.

Before you start calling it gross and sick, you should try it. It was the easiest and cleanest, most enjoyable poop of my life. It looked just like seaweed.

rstiles said...

I agree with you about Ohio State...they need another L to knock them out of the title picture...they are slowly climbing up to that #2 spot...

Tony B. said...

I've said it before, NFL Football is better than College Football. The product on the field is so much more fun to watch it's ridiculous. Then again, this is coming from a guy who went to and works at a school that doesn't allow tailgating (UC Davis- so lame.)

Anonymous said...

J Beanie,

I too have been an ocean shitter and there is no shame in it. You piss in it all day long and as long as you go far enough out the current is going to break that shit up so nobody will even notice, so what is the big deal. Also, it is an easy clean-up job.

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

I respect a public dump. I respect the hell out of it.