Thursday, October 08, 2009

Don't. Mess. With LeBron.

I'm going to miss watching your weekly drops, 17.

Do you see how much power Our King has? Some bum sucker-punches one of his friends at a club and less than a week later--POOF!--he's fucking gone. LeBron doesn't fuck around. You mess with him, he sends your ass packing. And so ends the lesson that Braylon Edwards has now learned. After four uneven years in which every Browns fan was fed up with his laziness, it took the Chosen One to send him to New York.

Speaking of crazy receivers, did you all see that MC Hammer was involved with the Crabtree/49ers negotiation? Wonderful!

So Braylon Edwards takes his me-first demeanor and dropped passes to the Jets and a coach who will likely rip his face off the first time that he pouts. Outstanding. Braylon is the kind of cancer that you pray for teams that you don't like to acquire. He's like Terrell Owens except that he is not good and has hands like Four-Leaf in Tropic Thunder. I fully expect a non-playoff season from the Jets now.

And how about those Brownies! Other than the Joe Thomas drafting, they have not made one good personnel move in the past decade. Not one. They have fucked them all up somehow since they were brought back into the league. Yet this move is #2. ManKok probably would have been happy to get a sack lunch (maybe tickets to see the movie, Sack Lunch) for Braylon, but the Jets gave them two players AND two draft picks? Hells fucking yes. Now, let's not go crazy here because Chansi Stuckey sucks and the other guy was an Ohio Northern Polar Bear, but both of them are still better than Braylon. They have to be, don't they? They also received a third and a fifth round pick for one of the worst receivers in the league. That third can move to a second if Edwards hits some statistical benchmarks...yeah, it's going to stay a 3. For once, I applaud Eric Mangini and George Kokinis. Well done. Eventhough they will draft bums, at least Mr. 5 Hour Energy has finally been exiled. You turned the least reliable player in football into four players. And even if these 4 guys don't work out, at least it's 4 new dicks for your back-up QB to stare at in the shower!

Now about LeBron; he probably had nothing to do with this and had no say at all. But maybe he did. I don't know how powerful his grip is on Cleveland. But this is the Browns and they make plenty of stupid decisions. You've seen the State Farm commercials. Maybe the organization actually thinks that he plays for them and asked for his input? So I will say this: why would he ever leave a town in which he can get players on other teams in other sports shipped out for fucking with him and his boys? He runs this fucking town! Do you really think that after all that hard work of shipping Braylon to New York, he would up and follow him there this summer? Of course not. He's all ours! He's staying here forever! LeBron was probably the voice behind the Eric Wedge firing! By the way, if anyone is interested, I'm going to order tickets to the Cavs/Celts game at The Schott on 10/21 either today or Friday. Let me know if you want are between $20-25 depending on the Ticketmaster grease fees. Which are always high and unnecessary.

Where was I anyway? I'm confused. Oh, speaking on behalf of all Browns fans and us other stiff in Ohio who have been forced to watch you play every Sunday for the past four years: Go fuck yourself, Braylon Edwards.

The much anticipated "Dut-struction" post is coming tomorrow. Had to push it back a day to make it even more epic.


Anonymous said...

"Dut-Struction"...I can't wait.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

I'm sure Lebron and his ego really do think that he was behind the Braylon trade.

I have a bad feeling Braylon will have a good rest of the year for the Jets. He is longer under the spell of the worst franchise in the NFL.

I'm in for the Cavs game. After all an preseason NBA game can't be nearly as boring as a regular season game, can it?

Can't wait to hear from Dut tomorrow. He has been quiet the last couple days.


Anonymous said...

*Pretty irrelevant, but the Lions got more for Roy Williams than the Browns got for a lot...and I don't think they are much different in their level of overrated.

*I actually think this IMPROVES the chances of LeBron going to Cleveland. I'm sure you remember the movie "Demolition Man"...this is playing out just like that.


GMoney said...

I never saw Demolition Man so you will need to explain that one to me. The Lions got a better deal because Jerry Jones is fucking retarded.

Nate B. said...

Great Seinfeld reference!

Anonymous said...

Basically there is a bad guy (Wesley Snipes) and a good guy (Stallone) who fought in a city for years only to be frozen and meet up again at a later time in a different city for another battle.


GMoney said...

Oh. That's not going to happen. Go fuck yourself.

GMoney said...

By the way, who gets fired and then starts doing business exclusively with the company that sent him packing???