Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Belated NBA Preview


I can't decide which is funnier, Mike Brown or Z? By the way, I know blackface Shaq.

Sorry about getting this up a day late for the handful of readers that actually enjoy the NBA product. I called off work sick yesterday (crossing my fingers that I have Swine Flu...that would be awesome). But while this post is going up at midnight, it is being written before the games start. In fact, I am listening to Woody Paige talk about the NBA right now so obviously no one is helping me with this. We'll just talk about the Cavs and then a quick prediction at the end.

It's been a strange offseason for the Cavs. There has been some good: Shaq coming in, solid signings of Moon, Powe, and Parker, they didn't lose much, LeBron should be pissed off after last season's playoff failure. There has also been a lot of bad: everything surrounding Delonte West, Shaq doesn't know the plays, Mo Williams is banged up already, Mike Brown is still an enigma, Jon Kuester was not replaced by another offensive guru. I'm a little nervous about this season. Maybe it's the Redskin fan in me, but something doesn't feel right. Who knows, maybe later tonight, the Cavs beat the Celtics by 20 and I'm all boners and bukakke about the season.

They aren't going to win 66 games again this year. Honestly, I don't want them to. As bad as this sounds, I don't want them to kill themselves every night. They are going to be in the playoffs. That much I know. Last year, they ran out of steam. This year, you have to give Shaq nights off. Same with Big Z. And if there is a guy available at the deadline, don't hesitate to wheel and deal with Ilgauskus (who will surely be bought out and then could return to the Cavs a month later). This season needs to be treated like a "last shot for glory". Because the elephant in the room is still there. This is a win at all cost year. It absolutely HAS to happen this year because July 1st is a scary ass day. On to the predictions:

EAST
15. Milwaukee - This team really sucks.
14. New York - D'Antoni-Ball does not work.
13. Charlotte - Michael Jordan has no idea what he's doing
12. New Jersey - How funny is it that the owner is a Russian billionaire?
11. Detroit - When will everyone realize that Joe Dumars set the organization back 3 years with his God awful free agent signings?
10. Indiana - WHITEWASH!!!
9. Philadelphia - Is it just me or is Andre Iguodala not that good?
8. Toronto - They'll do just enough that...well, Bosh is still leaving.
7. Miami - Jermaine O'Neal sucks balls.
6. Chicago - Going in the right direction but not well-coached.
5. Washington - Big time redemption season.
4. Atlanta - It's a good team, nothing special. Jamal Crawford will be solid playing the 2.
3. Boston - This team got really old, really quick. Fuck Rasheed.
2. Cleveland - They will take a few nights off this season. I won't be upset.
1. Orlando - Surprisingly got deeper in the offseason but losing Hedo will eventually catch up to them.

WEST
15. Sacramento - By far, the worst team in basketball.
14. Minnesota - I like Jonny Flynn to win ROY since Griffin is hurt already.
13. Memphis - Allen Iverson AND Zach Randolph? What an offseason!!!
12. Golden State - This team is a fucking mess. Don Nelson is just collecting a paycheck at this point.
11. Phoenix - I just think that they suck.
10. Oklahoma City - They are a year away. Seriously. This team has been built the right way.
9. Houston - As Peter King would stupidly say, they lead the league in grit.
8. Denver - George Karl teams always seem to blow up.
7. LA Clippers - Lot of talent there. I would have put them higher with a healthy Griffin.
6. Portland - Eh, whatever.
5. Dallas - Again, eh.
4. New Orleans - Chris Paul f'n rules. Byron Scott f'n sucks.
3. Utah - Jerry Sloan has never won the coach of the year award. Mike Brown has.
2. San Antonio - This team is loaded but they like to rest their older guys. They know that they don't need homecourt.
1. LA Lakers - I don't care, I would rather have Ariza than Artest.

MVP - Chris Paul
Coach - Jerry Sloan finally
Rookie - Jonny Flynn
FINALS!!! - Cavaliers over the Spurs says my heart. Cavaliers over the Spurs also says my head. This is the year. Stern rewarded the Celtics and Kobe the last two years. It's time that he makes things right with The King. Suck on that, Ace. GO CAVS!!!

8 comments:

rstiles said...

I agree, give me Ariza than Nutjob

GMoney said...

Cavs were fucking terrible last night. Who were the ad wizards that thought that Z and Shaq on the floor at the same time was a good idea?

Grumpy said...

Did they mean to take opening night off? At home?

Mr. Ace said...

The NBA season really starts tonight when the Spurs take on the Hornets...the eastern conference really doesn't matter.

Why the fuck do people think the addition of Artest and subtraction of Ariza is somehow the best off-season move of the NBA? Morons.

Dustin said...

The regular season starts on the spring. When multiple teams are under 500 make the playoffs, the regular season is meaningless. That is one of many reasons the nba is a joke. How do you get excited for a regular season game?

GMoney said...

Because my other options are the Redskins, RedHawks, and a struggling CBJ.

jessegscott said...

Your wrong about Dumars Pal BG and CV are good signings!. You wnated CV in Cleveland so don't go there.

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