Wednesday, October 07, 2009

And You Thought You Hated Tebow...


Introducing: "Gang Signs For Gays"

Quick one today as I feel like shit and laying on the couch sounds like a much better idea than typing on my laptop. I haven't had the flu in about a decade (at least) so I have no idea if that is what I am getting. Maybe it will be Swine Flu. I would get a laugh out of contracting that virus what with all the pigs I rape/bacon I eat. I have two college football thoughts today that don't really seem worthy of separate posts. So combined them...because I'm lazy...and probably have superAIDS.

1. Cincinnati isn't that good. Sure, they are good, but that aren't THAT good. They aren't one of the best ten teams in the country. I watched them in person on Saturday play even football through 3 quarters with a team who has lost ten straight games by double digits. Now you could say that maybe they overlooked such a crappy opponent. But they did the same damn thing the week prior with a below average Fresno State. It was embarrassing. And it wasn't like they were catching bad breaks or having uncharacteristic turnovers. In fact, it was the other way around. They were on the receiving end of: a 2 point conversion called back because of offensive PI which would have made it 23-15, an interception thrown by Zac Attack Dysert from the 3 yard line which could have cut it to 23-20, a SIX YARD PUNT, and a fucking retarded failed fake punt from our own 30. With all of this shit coming their way, they only led by ten points going into the 4th eventhough they were 30 point favorites. If this is, in fact, one of the best teams in the country, college football sucks even more than I thought. Tony Pike can eat shit.

2. Jimmy Clausen is the Heisman frontrunner. God, that makes me sick just typing that. Can you Tebow haters really say that you like Clausen more than Timmy and rather see him be named the best player in the country? I hate this little arrogant prick with his spiky hair and his smarmy smirk and his spoiled demeanor. It makes me want to puke. And the shitty thing is, he wins the most prestigious award in sports if the season ended today. He's got the numbers and he has two signature moments already (Purdue and Washington comebacks). Colt McCoy has been average at best all year so you can forget about him...this is a two horse race right now. So you better fucking pray to Tebow that Tebow's head isn't too fucked up because if I have to watched this blonde queer accept the Heisman Trophy on a Saturday night in December, I'm going to hang myself like Brooks Hadlin. We need to go back to the way it was when Jimmy Clausen played the QB position like Jimmy Vollmer. Wow, what a terrific audience.

That's it. Much like Neil Watkins in Accounting, I always Tebone in the end zone. Sorry, bitch pictured above. Make sure you show up tomorrow as Ace and I have combined for an epic "interview" the likes of which have never been seen.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

1.) Glad to see somebody sees just how overrated Cincy is. I'd give up a toe to play those fucks in a bowl game this year.

2.) The thought of having to decide whether I want Tebow or Clausen to win the Heisman makes my skin crawl. I think I would just suicide bomb the presentation to keep either from winning. I'll admit that if it was just Tebow going for his first Heisman, I would root for him heartily over Clausen...Clausen is the definition of douche.

3.) That girl in that pic is really hot.

--Drew

GMoney said...

What the fuck is going on? I am ripping ND today and everyone other than Drew is speechless? Go fuck yourselves, commenters.

Anonymous said...

I like to eat the crumbs of old cheesburgers off Charlie Weis' FUPA. Vote me for Heisman...Look at my stats!


---Jimmy Clausen

Mr. Ace said...

Cincy is overrated...even though everything you said about them and Miami means nothing.

Clausen isn't going to win the Heisman because he eventually has to play USC and will get destroyed. The race is wide open, but Clausen won't be a factor.

Anonymous said...

With the 10th pick in the 2010 NFL draft, the Washington Redskins select JIMMAY CLAUSEN!!!!


---Roger Goddell

GMoney said...

Show me nine teams worse than the Redskins, commish.

Ace, he plays USC on Saturday, right?

jessegscott said...

ND is off this week then has USC.. Claussen has to be up there. and a win over USC makes him the clear cut front runner.

UC is good.. They are on the edge of the top ten.

Mr. Ace said...

Dustin, I really feel bad for you. yesterday your Tiger completed an epic choke, today Braylon is traded for even more Jets rejects, and tomorrow...well, you will just have to wait another day for the ass reaming coming your way.

Anonymous said...

A couple of things:
1.) No matter what your feelings are on OSU, you have to agree Cincy would have no chance.
2.)Jimmy Clausen could possibly be the biggest d-bag to ever grace college football. Reminds me of "Sunshine" off of Remember the Titans. I don't think you can consider Purdue a signature win for him. They are fucking terrible. I hope he doesn't get it because I really don't want to see his fat-fuck, worthless, sack of shit coach present at the awards.
3.)I agree that these choices for Heisman don't say much about the sport I love so much. Makes me want to puke.
4.) Great Shawshank reference
5.) Good luck with the swine flu, it sucks.

-Burgei