Introducing: "Gang Signs For Gays"
Quick one today as I feel like shit and laying on the couch sounds like a much better idea than typing on my laptop. I haven't had the flu in about a decade (at least) so I have no idea if that is what I am getting. Maybe it will be Swine Flu. I would get a laugh out of contracting that virus what with all the pigs I rape/bacon I eat. I have two college football thoughts today that don't really seem worthy of separate posts. So combined them...because I'm lazy...and probably have superAIDS.
1. Cincinnati isn't that good. Sure, they are good, but that aren't THAT good. They aren't one of the best ten teams in the country. I watched them in person on Saturday play even football through 3 quarters with a team who has lost ten straight games by double digits. Now you could say that maybe they overlooked such a crappy opponent. But they did the same damn thing the week prior with a below average Fresno State. It was embarrassing. And it wasn't like they were catching bad breaks or having uncharacteristic turnovers. In fact, it was the other way around. They were on the receiving end of: a 2 point conversion called back because of offensive PI which would have made it 23-15, an interception thrown by Zac Attack Dysert from the 3 yard line which could have cut it to 23-20, a SIX YARD PUNT, and a fucking retarded failed fake punt from our own 30. With all of this shit coming their way, they only led by ten points going into the 4th eventhough they were 30 point favorites. If this is, in fact, one of the best teams in the country, college football sucks even more than I thought. Tony Pike can eat shit.
2. Jimmy Clausen is the Heisman frontrunner. God, that makes me sick just typing that. Can you Tebow haters really say that you like Clausen more than Timmy and rather see him be named the best player in the country? I hate this little arrogant prick with his spiky hair and his smarmy smirk and his spoiled demeanor. It makes me want to puke. And the shitty thing is, he wins the most prestigious award in sports if the season ended today. He's got the numbers and he has two signature moments already (Purdue and Washington comebacks). Colt McCoy has been average at best all year so you can forget about him...this is a two horse race right now. So you better fucking pray to Tebow that Tebow's head isn't too fucked up because if I have to watched this blonde queer accept the Heisman Trophy on a Saturday night in December, I'm going to hang myself like Brooks Hadlin. We need to go back to the way it was when Jimmy Clausen played the QB position like Jimmy Vollmer. Wow, what a terrific audience.
That's it. Much like Neil Watkins in Accounting, I always Tebone in the end zone. Sorry, bitch pictured above. Make sure you show up tomorrow as Ace and I have combined for an epic "interview" the likes of which have never been seen.