Friday, September 18, 2009

Ace's Vegas Special

Well, my first official picks for The Money Shot didn't go so well. 3-4 is far from stellar, and I can guarantee that these picks are better than 3-4. GMoney claims he went 6-1, but that ass hole wasn't kind enough to share his picks with us so who really knows what he went. The more important thing, at least for me, is that I hit ANOTHER 5 PLAY PARLAY! Going 3-4 really doesn't fucking matter when you hit a 5 play parlay for the second straight week. So I have decided to make an addition to my picks; the Delaware Special.

First, let's start off with some college picks.
Sparty @ Notre Lame. Notre Lame -10. The talent difference between ND and Sparty is enormous. Sparty simply won't be able to hang with the offensive fire power that Floyd and Tate will bring. Sparty just lost at home to Central fucking Michigan. No way they cover. Notre Lame -10.

Fuckeyes @ Toledo...sort of. Fuckeyes -20.5. By the time this game gets to kickoff it will be -21 oe -21.5, which could potentially make a huge difference. I think Toledo will cover either way, but I would really like the extra point. Honestly, there are probably only a handful of teams that I wouldn't take Toledo against if I was getting three TD's...and the Fuckeyes are not one of them. Toledo will score and they will hang around. The potential for an upset is there, but I'm really not seeing the potential for a blowout. Toledo +20.5. Aaron Opelt for Heisman!

Tennessee @ Florida. Florida -29.5. I marked this date down on my calender way back on February 5th. That is the day that Lane Kiffin called Urban Meyer a cheater and accused him of a recruiting violation in front of a University of Tennessee audience. That is a day he will live to regret, that is the day he crossed the best coach in the nation with the best team in the nation. I was really hoping Tennessee would beat UCLA handily so this line be quite so high, but it doesn't matter. Urban Meyer is going to fuck Kiffin's world up. The Swamp is going to be fucking nuts. Don't worry about the points, take Florida. Florida -29.5.

I also like the OVER in this one. The O/U line is set at 52 right now and Florida is going to score at least 49. I just hope Tennessee can find a way to make a couple field goals to cover.

Boise @ Fresno State. Boise -7. I like Boise. Fresno just pushed Wisconsin to the limit last week without coming away with the win and I don't think they can bounce back fast enough to be prepared for Boise. Not only is Boise's offense top notch, they are the best defense in the WAC and will shut down Fresno's passing attack. Boise -7.

Lil Strut has also decided to grace you with his college picks:

USC at Washington (+18.5)
With Steve Sarkisian now at the helm of Washington, the Huskies are going to establish themselves as a team to be reckoned with in the Pac-10. We all saw what happened to USC after they won a big game against Ohio State last year and I think they are going to be presented with difficulties again this year. Steve Sarkisian is going to take advantage of Jake Locker's abilities against an inexperienced USC Defense and although Washington may not win, they certainly don't get beat by 19. I take Washington and the points. UW -18.5.

Arizona at Iowa (41.5 over/under)
When looking at these teams thus far in the season it is easy to realize two things. 1) Both teams play decent to good defense and 2) Neither team is an offensive power. This would explain the low over/under. One thing should be pointed out though, neither team has been in a game this season that achieved the over. I see a defensive slugfest that ends up somewhere around the 20-14 range for Iowa. I take the UNDER.

Florida State at BYU (-6)
BYU is still riding the momentum from its upset of Oklahoma and Florida State is still feeling the effects of losing a heartbreaker to Miami at home, which showed in its piss poor performance against Jacksonville State last week. I think BYU comes into this game focused and pumped up for what is a huge home game for them, while Florida State will be apathetic and unfocused after traveling all the way across the country. I give the points and take BYU. BYU -6.

NFL Picks
Seahawks @ 49ers. Niners -1.5. This is basically a pick between a Jim Mora Jr. coached team and a Mike Singletary coached team. I don't think I need to say much more. Niners -1.5.

Panthers @ Falcons. Falcons -6. Jake Delhomme is still the starting quarterback for the Carolina Panthers. Again, I don't think I need to say much more. But when your star WR says this to you on the sidelines, "I never really liked you as a quarterback. But as a person . . . I love you as a person," it's pretty obvious there are problems. Falcons -6.

Steelers @ Bears. Steelers -3. Jay cutler is a fucking bum. Urlacher is gone for the year. The Steelers will shut down Forte. Ball game. Steelers -3.

Colts @ Dolphins. Colts -3. I'm not in love with this pick, but I just think the Colts are better. Plus, they picked up Hank Baskett and his tits on a stick wife...that's at least 3.5 points right there. Colts -3.

The Delaware Special:
BC @ Clemson: Over 45.
Temple @ Penn State: Temple +30. PSU hasn't covered their first two big spread, they won't cover this one.
USC @ UW: UW +18.5.
Nebraska @ Va Tech: VT -5.5.
Tulsa @ Oklahoma: Over 58.

There you have it, douchers and douchettes. Give us some of your picks, or rip apart ours, in the comments.


Nate B. said...


A week ago I'd call you a moron for taking Toledo, but Eric Page is a demon. This is one of those games that could be really rangy from a blowout to Toledo holding on until the end.


I'm telling you - UDub over the U. of Spoiled Children is the upset special of the year. Jake Locker is going to present problems for USC. Sark knows PC's weaknesses in a year the Trojans actually have them.

Anonymous said...


I was thinking of your constant reminders of UW over USC while I was making my picks. You remind people of it so much, you may be solely responsible for the line dropping 3+ points since the beginning of the week. However, I think you are onto something. Before we pronounce them the winner, lets just wait and see if UW has kicked their habit of fucking themselves in the ass at inopportune moments now that they have a new coach.

-Lil' Strut

Mr. Ace said...

Toledo has definitely got the talent at the skill positions to hang. It's gonna come down to the line play on both sides.

I like the UW play as well, even if Lil Strut just makes up his own lines.

GMoney said...

Since you fags continue to ignore top notch locks, SMU is giving 3 (or less) points to Washington State tomorrow. June Jones will beat that shit team by at least 400.

Mr. Ace said...

June Jones can't even beat his meat.

Mr. Ace said...

Two more winners for you.

Cal -13.5 @ Minny. If Minny can barely beat the likes of Syracuse and Air Force then Cal should destroy them.

BC/Clemson Over 44. Neither of these teams has scored less then 27 thus far and Clemson can't play defense.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Ace must have forgotten that MSU has won their last six times in South Bend....and those Bobby Williams/John L. Smith teams sucked too. Hell, Michigan almost won last year and they lost to a MAC team at home too.


Mr. Ace said...

Drew, Michigan lost by 18. We were fucking terrible last year. ND was awful. ND is much better this year and Sparty is terrible. I don't care what Sparty did at ND a decade ago. No worries.