Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Tony Dungy Makes Me Sick


First and foremost, this is not a post about Michael Vick. There have been enough words wasted on that loser over the past few weeks. I don't care what he does in his personal life anymore or how Andy Reid will incorporate him into the offense (poorly, I imagine). Last week, our very own horny commenter, Stiles, had a nice post about Tony Dungy sort of being a fraud during this whole saga. It got the ball rolling for me. So let's take a moment to discuss the recent actions of America's favorite mentor.

Like I said, I am OK with second chances. Obviously, they are a big deal and all. There are going to be interviews and press conferences and whatnot. I accept that. But why in the hell is Tony Dungy showing up at all of these events? What purpose does he serve? He has known Vick for what, 3 months? All of a sudden he is qualified to answer questions about how much of a changed man this guy is? Oh, but don't worry about it. Everybody loves Tony Dungy!

I've never really understood why all of the media assholes fawn over Dungy. The guy coached for a long time. He managed to take very talented teams and get upset in the playoffs every year but one. That one, of course, was when he finally got out of Peyton's way and let him run the show without fucking things up. Hell, you could have called him the Black Norv Turner if not for one rainy night in Miami. What exactly made Dungy a great coach anyway? Is it because he never yelled or showed emotion? That he is a God-fearing, church-going man? Are we afraid to criticize black coaches? Or because his teams always had a shit-ton of talent? Does anyone really believe that had his first job been with the Lions, he would still be revered as this great man? Yet it seems like Dungy gets a free pass just because he is "dignified" and won one Super Bowl (the same number as Brian Billick and George Siefert, by the way) against the greatness of Rex Grossman.

But here he is. The righter of wrongs. The man who can take the most hardened of criminals and mold them into a productive member of society. Here's the thing that I don't get though: is it wrong of me to assume that if Michael Vick was a white guy, he would not be anywhere near this scene? I feel like there could be some reverse racism working here. I wonder if Matt Jones is waiting by the phone hoping that Dungy will help him with his coke problem. Or Ryan Leaf. Or Alex Boone (he's got to be in jail, right?).

So yeah, I'll call Dungy a bigot. He doesn't mind riding the coattails of playmaking white guys, but if they need help, fuck 'em. And who could forget his open disdain toward gays! That was a great day in the life of sexual tolerance.

I see through this charade though. I do. Follow me here. Frequent punchline of this site, James Dungy, killed himself a few years back likely in part to Tony not being around to be his father. I'm not saying that that was the sole reason that he committed suicide, but I'm sure it didn't help with his decision. Since Tony failed with his own son, Vick is now playing the role of James Dungy in his life. Isn't that sweet? Hopefully he does a better job the second time around than Andy Reid did. But it would be amusing if after a few months, Tony just started ignoring Vick who eventually would hang himself. That would be awesome on so many different levels.

Other than Jesus, what else is Tony Dungy qualified to give advice on anyway? Silence? He was an overrated coach, a crappy father, and a man intolerant of other cultures. Is this really who we want convicted felons to model their rehabilitated lives after? I don't think so. So stay the fuck away from Vick, Tony Dungy. He's going to have a hard enough time gaining public favor. He doesn't need to learn how to be a deadbeat, queer-hating loser on Sundays.

I'm G$ and I approve this hate-filled, over-the-top message. James Dungy does, too...IN HELL!!!

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Loved it...best post in a while!

--Drew

Grumpy said...

I hadn't thought of the whole situation in the light you put it. Very thought provoking piece.

GMoney said...

Grump, I'm counting on this to win me a Pulitzer.

Mr. Ace said...

I agree with just about every point. But reverse racism may be the dumbest fucking idea ever thought up. If Dungy would go help out Matt Jones people would call him an uncle tom.

Also, the year the Colts won the SB Peyton Manning blew absolute dick in the playoffs. The Colts could have won with Ryan Leaf in the playoffs.

Dustin said...

Dungy wouldn't be helping If vick was white, ace. He basically said that in the interview Sunday!

GMoney said...

Isn't Dungy pretty much the definition of an Uncle Tom though? Should we be talking about this so openly? Why is Dut watching 60 Minutes? Is Ace ready to wear my Portis at next Sunday's DFL Draft? Did Ace forget that Pey-Pey was Super Bowl MVP and illustrated and epic comeback over the Pats?

Anonymous said...

Favre is back...kill me now.

--Drew

GMoney said...

We'll have a Favre post up tomorrow. Man, I hate him.

Tony B. said...

It seems reasonable that Tony Dungy is doing this as a favor to Roger Goodell rather than Vick. Vick by himself would've been burned at the stake by now, and the NFL would be more highly criticized. It's still stupid that Dungy is involved, but the NFL would be drawing even more heat without him.

PS: I'm still bitter about Dungy's Super Bowl victory.

rstiles said...

Here, here!!...

Mr. Ace said...

I love Brett Favre now. Seriously, I'm so glad he decided to come back this way.

Anonymous said...

I happen to know Tony Dungy. My grandfather and Tony's father, Will, were very good friends. We also happen to be white. They are probably some of the most tolerant people I've ever met. And Tony is a great father, i.e all-pro dad. James was his adopted son who probably would've been dead years earlier if not for Tony. And if it wasn't for Tony strengthening a defense who prior to 2002 should've just let the offense stay on the field the whole time, the colts would still not have a title and Manning and the rest of the "talent" would still be choke artists looking for a calming influence to get them through the tough losses. Definitely one of the best coaches in the history of football. Period.

Anonymous said...

Previous post by: Sinatra Sluggz

this guy said...

I'd like to know more about you so I can break you down piece by piece and hopefully locate what about you makes me sick.

Anonymous said...

Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Just what the world needs more of, don't you think, GMoney? Can you tell me one thing about your remarks that helps anybody? The very things you accuse Tony Dungy of (without really knowing the person)are painfully obvious in your remarks. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

Anonymous said...

This guy just shut u all up!!!! haha tony dungy is one of the best coaches of all time hands down!

Phantom Dreamer said...

James was a biological son of Tony Dungy.

Anonymous said...

Do you think Tony Dungy's son might have killed himself because he was gay?

Anonymous said...

Quite possible.