Friday, August 21, 2009

Bringin' The High Hate

There is no doubt in my mind that That 70's Show is the biggest piece of shit ever created. It is no surprise that a terrible network like Fox kept it on the air for so long. If you like this show, you are retarded and should be forced to work out in Chris Benoit's weight room. Normally, comedies are supposed to make you laugh. The writing on this show was beyond awful and provided no actual jokes at all. We get it, these idiots liked to smoke weed and be douchbags. It was horrible. Thanks for launching Ashton Kutcher's "career". Thanks for letting America meet some asshole named Topher. Thanks for Fez...the gayest character in television history. Nothing about this show was good. I hated it then and I still hate it now. With fantasy football drafts starting, let's take some time out to list players that I "hate" this year. Hate is a strong word when it comes to fantasy football as I could see myself drafting any of these guys. But it would have to be a scenario in which you get good value and I see little value in these guys (pertaining to my roster). Let's begin.

QB - Kurt Warner
Man, Warner is slated as a top 5 quarterback for fantasy purposes but can you really trust a guy this old and this immobile? Sure, he was awesome last season, but do you want to hitch your wagon to a late 30's QB who is one hit away from blowing up your team? Yeah, you could handcuff him with Leinart, I guess, but Kurt is far from a sure thing. Someone in your league will likely take him in the late 3rd/early 4th round. Let them have him. You don't need to take the risk.

RB - LaDainian Tomlinson
Many are predicting a big comeback for LT. I'm not so sure about that. I would be nervous if I grabbed him in the top 8. Injuries have become a massive issue with Tomlinson and, let's face it, his best days for fantasy purposes are way behind him. Can he get you 12 TD's? Probably. But with the emergence of Captain Lofty Pass at QB and the awesomeness of Darren Sproles, there are too many variables to make me think that he is a sure-fire first round pick. In the G$FL, Damman is picking 11th. If Tomlinson is still there, I would be all over it. But I'm picking 5th and I have no desire at all to grab him. Bill Simmons thinks that he would take LT at 2. That is fucking nuts.

WR - Braylon Edwards
Oh, so much wasted potential. He's got all the tools in the world yet he doesn't have it between the ears or the fingers. Browns fans were anticipating a big turnaround for BE this year but already in the first preseason game, he is dropping touchdown passes. Why would you take a WR early if he can't catch the football. And especially on a team like the Browns who aren't going to score much anyway. Let some Browns homer take Braylon while you take the less sexy but safer choice (like a TJ Houshmandzadeh). You won't be sorry. I was very sorry last season taking him in the second round.

TE - Kellen Winslow
People always like to take this guy early with hope that he finally realizes his potential and becomes the dominant middle of the field force that he should be. Don't count on it this year. Tampa Bay just paid him big money (for reasons unknown). He's never been healthy. He's stupid. He had a staph infection in his balls last year. The guy is just a mess. Also, stay away from Jeremy Shockey. I've said it before and I'll say it again: let the idiots in your league take the high risk picks. Playing it safe is a good thing.

DEF - Eagles
The Eagles defense, which normally is near the top, has lost the heart (Stewart Bradley), brains (Jim Johnson), and soul (Brian Dawkins) from last year. Of course there will be some major fall-off in their usual dominance. You just can't replace guys like that. And let's not forget that all the interceptions and three-and-outs that are trademark Donovan McNabb. He sucks. I'm just saying, this defense won't be nearly as solid as it used to be...Mr. Ace be damned.

There you go. If you would like to argue, have at it, hoss. As for me, I am so freaking pumped for the G$FL Draft on Sunday afternoon. Like I said, I'm picking 5th. I already have Plan A and Plan B formulated and am excited about both. Damman knows this plan. Shut the fuck up, Damman. But if you were in my shoes, who are you taking at 5 (that you think will still be there)? FYI, Dut is picking 2nd. Drew is picking 12th. GSaul is picking 10th. Pietsch is shooting 9th. It should be interesting. Count on a post Monday morning in which we dissect a few rosters. Have a good weekend.


Anonymous said...

I was already thinking LT at 11 would be a solid pick for me. Just wanted to be clear on that if I take him on Sunday. I don't want to be accused of taking advice from G$.

I know you told me your plan already, but that was like 6 days ago and I can't remember what happened yesterday. Your secret is safe.


GMoney said...

Good. And by the way, get ready to regret joining Dut's league. It's going to be a disaster and I have no faith in him as a commish.

Yeah, that's right. I'm talking shit about you, bitch!

rstiles said...

G$, I listened to your advice and did not take LT with the #5 pick in my draft...

The #5 pick sucks more than Monica Lewinsky in the Oval are some tips:

- If MJD is there, TAKE HIM...
- If Forte is there, TAKE HIM...
- You will probably have to be satisfied with DeAngelo...even though he is probably going to split some time with Stewart..

GMoney said...

I don't think that Forte will be there at 5. I love MoJo, but not really sold that he is a sure thing.

Anonymous said...

I think Jamal Lewis would be a steal at 5.


Dustin said...

I agree Damman. You can't go wrong with Jamal Lewis. I would even play it safe and take James Davis in the 4th. Can't be too careful!

G$- I will be the greatest commish ever, and this will be the greatest league ever. Shit talking has already started and we are still a week away from the draft. That's the sign of a great league!

Dustin said...

Jones drew might be gone after pick 2! Would anyone else be dumb enough to pass on Turner?? Maybe Rex wants Turner at 1 instead of my boy AP?

Mr. Ace said...

I'll take Steve Slaton ahead of both MJD and Forte. Texans are going to have one of the best offenses this year and Slaton is only going to improve from last year.

Don't believe the hype, jump all over the Eagles D. Scott McDermott will be just fine as the DC...he did most of the work last year. And most importantly, we are going to have Jeremy Maclin and Desean Jackson returning kicks, that alone is enough reason to pick the Eagles D.

GMoney said...

Oh, Dut, you miserable piece of shit. I can't wait for 14 people (who runs a league with 14 people?) to be yelling out prices at the same time for Drew Brees.

The only worthy smack talk was GSaul referencing Anne Frank (although not in a racist way at all)...and that was golden!!!

Tony B. said...

I'm not sure if 5 is the right place for him, but I could see Frank Gore going between 6-9. Is that good advice or me regurgitating Bay Area sports talk radio?

GMoney said...

I will not be taking Gore at 5, T-Bone. I can promise that.

WARNING!!! I have been informed by Beanie that he and his roving band of necrophiliac nomads will be hitting Columbus this weekend. I don't know if it's possible to care any less. Unless Rosenberg is involved...that guy's alright.

Anonymous said...

Is Seal involved in this trip? I guess I could just look for an old school Kenny Lofton jersey roaming the streets. I mean the real Seal, too. Not the imposter who has invaded this site.


Anonymous said...

haha fuck u G$! no love for me?? And yes, rosenberg and myself will be in dublin on saturday - im sure we will be at the dub pub saturday night. you guys comming out??

GMoney said...

I could be swayed...especially since you will be in Dublin. Have Beanie get in touch with me on Saturday night.