Friday, August 21, 2009
There is no doubt in my mind that That 70's Show is the biggest piece of shit ever created. It is no surprise that a terrible network like Fox kept it on the air for so long. If you like this show, you are retarded and should be forced to work out in Chris Benoit's weight room. Normally, comedies are supposed to make you laugh. The writing on this show was beyond awful and provided no actual jokes at all. We get it, these idiots liked to smoke weed and be douchbags. It was horrible. Thanks for launching Ashton Kutcher's "career". Thanks for letting America meet some asshole named Topher. Thanks for Fez...the gayest character in television history. Nothing about this show was good. I hated it then and I still hate it now. With fantasy football drafts starting, let's take some time out to list players that I "hate" this year. Hate is a strong word when it comes to fantasy football as I could see myself drafting any of these guys. But it would have to be a scenario in which you get good value and I see little value in these guys (pertaining to my roster). Let's begin.
QB - Kurt Warner
Man, Warner is slated as a top 5 quarterback for fantasy purposes but can you really trust a guy this old and this immobile? Sure, he was awesome last season, but do you want to hitch your wagon to a late 30's QB who is one hit away from blowing up your team? Yeah, you could handcuff him with Leinart, I guess, but Kurt is far from a sure thing. Someone in your league will likely take him in the late 3rd/early 4th round. Let them have him. You don't need to take the risk.
RB - LaDainian Tomlinson
Many are predicting a big comeback for LT. I'm not so sure about that. I would be nervous if I grabbed him in the top 8. Injuries have become a massive issue with Tomlinson and, let's face it, his best days for fantasy purposes are way behind him. Can he get you 12 TD's? Probably. But with the emergence of Captain Lofty Pass at QB and the awesomeness of Darren Sproles, there are too many variables to make me think that he is a sure-fire first round pick. In the G$FL, Damman is picking 11th. If Tomlinson is still there, I would be all over it. But I'm picking 5th and I have no desire at all to grab him. Bill Simmons thinks that he would take LT at 2. That is fucking nuts.
WR - Braylon Edwards
Oh, so much wasted potential. He's got all the tools in the world yet he doesn't have it between the ears or the fingers. Browns fans were anticipating a big turnaround for BE this year but already in the first preseason game, he is dropping touchdown passes. Why would you take a WR early if he can't catch the football. And especially on a team like the Browns who aren't going to score much anyway. Let some Browns homer take Braylon while you take the less sexy but safer choice (like a TJ Houshmandzadeh). You won't be sorry. I was very sorry last season taking him in the second round.
TE - Kellen Winslow
People always like to take this guy early with hope that he finally realizes his potential and becomes the dominant middle of the field force that he should be. Don't count on it this year. Tampa Bay just paid him big money (for reasons unknown). He's never been healthy. He's stupid. He had a staph infection in his balls last year. The guy is just a mess. Also, stay away from Jeremy Shockey. I've said it before and I'll say it again: let the idiots in your league take the high risk picks. Playing it safe is a good thing.
DEF - Eagles
The Eagles defense, which normally is near the top, has lost the heart (Stewart Bradley), brains (Jim Johnson), and soul (Brian Dawkins) from last year. Of course there will be some major fall-off in their usual dominance. You just can't replace guys like that. And let's not forget that all the interceptions and three-and-outs that are trademark Donovan McNabb. He sucks. I'm just saying, this defense won't be nearly as solid as it used to be...Mr. Ace be damned.
There you go. If you would like to argue, have at it, hoss. As for me, I am so freaking pumped for the G$FL Draft on Sunday afternoon. Like I said, I'm picking 5th. I already have Plan A and Plan B formulated and am excited about both. Damman knows this plan. Shut the fuck up, Damman. But if you were in my shoes, who are you taking at 5 (that you think will still be there)? FYI, Dut is picking 2nd. Drew is picking 12th. GSaul is picking 10th. Pietsch is shooting 9th. It should be interesting. Count on a post Monday morning in which we dissect a few rosters. Have a good weekend.