Friday, July 10, 2009
It's Friday. It's the summer. It's FANTASY FOOTBALL FRIDAY!!! Like it or not, your drafts are creeping up on you and will be here in no time. Now don't panic, your team is going to suck if you start doing your homework now or if you wait until an hour before the draft starts. But your boyfriend, G$, has no problem dropping pointers to those that want to learn. And if you don't want to learn, you are probably retarded or from the deep south.
Last year about this time, I discussed how much I hated picking between 4 and 6. You don't get value there. Everyone available at that slot has HUGE red flags. You end up wasting that pick on Frank fucking Gore or some shit. Well, this issue has moved up the board this year...in a big fucking way. Allow me to explain:
Can we all agree that Adrian Peterson will go first overall in every draft this year? If he doesn't, you need new friends. Let's say that I get the normally sweet break of having the #2 pick. I've done my research. I've looked at strength of schedules. I've eliminated anyone who has ever played for the Browns, Cowboys, or Bengals. I'm on the clock and the commish wants my pick.
What the fuck do I do now? There is NO clear cut #2 pick this year. After All Day, there isn't a guy who is guaranteed to be a top 5er. Having a pick in the first half of your draft this year will fucking blow. The position of power will be at the back end of the first round. Trust me. Let's take a look at who could conceivably go second next month:
DeAngelo Williams - Do you really trust this guy enough to rest the hopes of your team on him? His QB is awful and they didn't draft Jonathan Stewart to sit him. If he scores ten td's this year, I will be impressed.
Michael Turner - Were the Falcons a fluke or are they really that good? You could definitely see this team not catching any breaks and ending up 5-11. Was Turner also a fluke?
Brandon Jacobs - Sure, he's a beast but he ALWAYS gets hurt.
Matt Forte - Cutler will make him even better but it's still a stretch to go this high on a second year RB.
Steven Jackson - This guy sucks.
Brian Westbrook - He is turning 30 and the Eagles just drafted a running back to take some carries away.
Jamal Lewis - Just checking to see if you are still with me.
Drew Brees - Yeah, he's probably the safest pick here but you don't really want to take a QB second, do you?
See? It's a total crapshoot at #2. For once, you want no part of picking high in the first round. You want the sandwich picks at the end where you can wind up with MoJo Drew and Chris Johnson tearing up the fucking world for you. There. There is your weekly fantasy football advice...picking second really fucking sucks. Who does #2 work for? See you all on Monday.