Thursday, July 16, 2009

Random Thought Thursday

Since we're still void of any on-field action in any sporting event, are we cool with some random thoughts today? Yeah? Good, because ESPN is wasting bottom line space with news about Damaso Marte's upcoming return and Brett Favre throwing footballs. I even saw a segment on Sportscenter where Mike "The Fag" Greenberg is telling some poor diner waitress about how much he wants to go to Wimbledon. Jeezus, we need something to happen. How about releasing another steroids name? I'll even settle for Ron Kittle at this point.

Whatever happened to managers in pro-wrestling? Back in the 80's and early 90's, you used to have some of the greatest characters ever do nothing but accompany their guys ringside. Now, at best, you get some dumb ex-stripper with no personality. I want guys like "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart, Paul Bearer, Bobby Heenan, THE SLICKSTER (pictured), and Mr. Fuji back. Enough with these girls that clearly passed the Vince McMahon BJ hiring process.
I work on the 5th floor of my building. When I leave work, clearly I press one otherwise it would not move. It never fails that on the way down, we have to stop and pick more people up. Yet the assbaskets that get on ALWAYS hit the first floor button again. THE LIGHT IS FUCKING ON. You do not have some magic touch that will make the elevator get there faster. I swear to Christ, one of these days I'm going to kill everyone in my office. I will start with "Donkey Fucker".
My favorite tournament starts up today and that would be The Open Championship. Or as us uncivilized Americans would call it, The British Open. If you are looking to pick an upset, don't bother. The last three times that this tourney was held at Turnberry, the #1 player in the world won. Tiger will make it four times as long as he keeps his fucking driver in the bag. You know, it's sad that seemingly everyone in Phil-do's family is getting cancer when all that anyone really wants is for his family to get healthy and for him to get cancer. Ass cancer.
I'm still trying to figure out how Joe Maddon was able to take 4 position players off of his third place team and put them in the all-star game. I realize that everyone wants to see the great Jason Bartlett and Ben Zobrist play, but come on. The Rays didn't deserve five all-stars this year. And Maddon really needs to stop looking like someone that Billie Jean King would want to date.

I will never deny my love for Big Brother. It has to be the worst show that I've ever watched yet I love every minute of it. The new season started up on Sunday and two things immediately come to mind. Laura (above) has the worst set of giganticly fake moon balloons ever. Not to sound like a gay guy but she should have used some of that money on braces. Her line last night of, "it's not my fault that I have big boobs" was classic reality TV. Actually, whore, yes it is your fault. And then there is Russell...the MMA FIGHTER who is quite possibly the most objectionable human being in America. He calls himself "The Love Muscle" and tried to fight someone in less than a week of being on the show. Would you ever associate with someone like that? Of course not. I hope that someone snuck a gun in the house and they shoot him. Great show though.
Finally, it looks like FX has green-lit a new show about...wait for it...a fantasy football league? Hells yes! It's going to be done by some of the people responsible for Curb Your Enthusiasm so you know it's going to be awesome. I hope that it's similar to my league in which two constants happen at every draft: Commenter Drew can't stop shaking until he finishes a pitcher and The Hottest Bartender In Columbus gets pissed off when people draft Earnest Graham ahead of him. I'm totally going to watch this.

Back tomorrow...potentially talking about Peppers. Let me sleep on that though...if I can.


Anonymous said...

Big Brother has been it's usual awesome self so far. Russell and Jesse woking together has made me want to blast my brains out.

Suprisingly, I don't my Lydia despite her thousands of tatoos. Hopefully she survives tonight and that cunt Chima goes home.

I think my early favorite is Casey. Not saying he's going to win, but he is my favorite houseguest. Kinda has a little A-Baller in him.


Grumpy said...

Russell is going to lose it, punch Jeff or Braydon, and we'll have our first reality show death. I would have bet on it happening on Survivor, but Big Brother will be good. This beats talking baseball.

GMoney said...

I'm pretty sure that Ronnie fucks kids. I'm a Jeff fan now after that shit on Tuesday night. Casey does seem like a good guy despite being a DJ (objectionable).

Upstate Underdog said...

I'm old so I'll go with Capt Lou Albano, Classy Freddie Blassie and The Grand Wizard when it comes to old WWF managers.

J Beanie said...

Here's some random thoughts:

So Pedro signs a $1 million deal and then goes on the DL. How does this happen? Why wouldn't the Phillies wait until he was healthy to sign him? No one else wanted him. Wouldn't this be like getting a new job and asking for a paid two week vacation?

Not a NASCAR fan but this Mayfield character is very entertaining. So he fails a second drug test last week and now claims NASCAR paid his mother in law to tell about his drug use. They should just let this guy drive again and every other driver tries to kill him.

Anonymous said...

saw a paul bearer look alike last week, we laughed our asses off. If you dyed your hair black you could pull off that look also.

Naptown Wolverine

rstiles said...

Here are 2 old school wrestling managers

- Captain Lou Albano
- Classy Freddie Blassie

Kid Presentable said...

No clue if any non-NYC metropolitan area readers get it, but MSG's WWF Classics on Wednesday nights is THE SHIT. Last night the Ultimate Warrior and Legion of Doom took on Demolition and sweet Lord Almighty, it was fantastic.

That said, Bobby the Brain was the best for how often he got involved in the action. The second you don't see it coming, BAM, he's holding down the opponent's leg mid-pin with his strokey lip.