Friday, July 17, 2009

The Legend Of Brian Peppers

Ugh. Trust me, you are going to hate me for this. You are going to be wishing that I did a fantasy football column today. Today's post is so disgusting that I'm not even using a picture. My stomach isn't strong enough. Allow me to explain:

So last Friday I stop by Naptown Wolverine's house in...well...Naptown. I show him the Department of Corrections website which has info about people that we know/Maurice Clarett's updated prison photo. Good times, right? Then, NW starts checking out the sex offenders in Naptown. Again, good times. But then the mood changes and changes quickly. For NW mentioned the name:

Brian Peppers.

He is somewhat of an internet sensation but, until last Friday, I had never heard of him before. Go ahead. Click on the link. I dare you. I'll wait.

Grotesque, huh? That dickhead from Mask has nothing on Brian Peppers.

He's just your run of the mill sex offender who currently resides about 45 miles from Naptown. Here is his backstory with MORE pictures!!! He also happens to be so fucking ugly that he makes Garbage Pail Kids look normal. Seriously, I've had fucking nightmares ever since because of this guy.

Now I know what you're thinking, "Why couldn't you have just not posted today instead? For God's sake, I just threw up on myself." It's a fair question and to that I say, "get fucked". I put up with a lot of "Peppers-esque" comments (retarded) on a daily basis, so you can deal with this hilarity now.

That's it for today. I have the day off and am spending it in line for a marriage license, driving back to Naptown, playing golf potentially at Nap Muni, and then getting bombed at Rally tonight. Enjoy the weekend. And don't forget to check under your bed for Peppers.


Anonymous said...

Fucking hilarious, was laughing the whole time i read this. Check your closet.

Naptown Wolverine

Grumpy said...

Wheelchair or not, I'm running if I see that dude. And Ronnie turned out to be a weasel. But what did you expect from a guy in an ou cap?

GMoney said...

Is Brian making an appearance at Rally tonight?

Ronnie is a fucking loser. "A vote for Braden is a vote for bigotry". This is going to be a great season in the BB house.

rstiles said...

That guy is sweet....

Anonymous said...

another great prediction by you on tiger for sure winning again... the asshole isnt even going to make the cut. Nice job.

GMoney said...

Yeah, no kidding. You should probably just ignore my golf predictions since I struggle to break 100.