Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I'm Just Sayin'...


I really don't feel like talking about the All-Star Game. Hell, I'm typing this up 45 minutes after my guide said that the game was going to start. Did you know that the days before and after the MLB All-Star Game are the only days of the year in which no professional sports that matter are played? It's true. Look it up. Monday-a game that means virtually nothing-Wednesday...and we've got no sports action at all to discuss. So sometimes you need to force the issue when it comes to blogging.

And this is why I have resulted to "Bayless-ing" today. What does "Bayless-ing" mean, you ask? Well, Skip Bayless is an ascot wearing faggot who says whatever the hell his producers tell him to. Take his stance on LeBron for example. He's the only asshole in the world that thinks Our King is a joke yet he will stand by his statement until he dies from a too-rough night of truck stop butt-love. But his schtick is to argue the points that no one else dare back. This is what I'm doing today. You will not like this and no one will agree with me on this. Let's go:

Alex Rodriguez was outed earlier this year for using steroids 6 years ago. A-Rod missed the first month of the season due to hip surgery. A-Rod is not an all-star. Statistically, A-Rod isn't having an A-Rod season (yet). But with all that said, I'm going to come out and say it:

Alex Rodriguez is the MVP of the American League.

Now, let me give you some time to pick up the pieces of your skull that exploded off of your body and then I will lay out my case for you. But first, remember that this award was given to a loser named Dustin Pedroia last year so the reward already has a taint (rimshot!) on it. It has no almost no credibility left anyway.

On Friday May 8th, the Yankees were floundering with a porous 13-15 record. That night, A-Rod came off of the DL and the first pitch that he saw from Jeremy Guthrie, he deposited into the leftfield bleachers for a 3 run dong. Since then, since Baseball Jesus returned to the Yankees, they are 38-22. From 2-under without him to 16-over with him. I would say that that is sort of valuable. The Yanks are playing .633 ball with him. Can you name me one other player with that kind of differential? Manny? Doubtful. The Dodgers didn't miss a beat without him. Joe Mauer is hitting close to .400 but who cares because his team fucking sucks.

Now how can I sit here and tell you all that a guy hitting .256 with 17 HR's and 50 RBI should be the MVP? Easily. His OPS is still a robust .959 and from what I'm told, that is really good. But it's more than just numbers. It's the impact he has had. Do you think that Mark Teixeira is an all-star without A-Rod? Maybe, but it didn't look like that in April. And don't give me that trash that A-Rod's numbers are even worse than they look because he plays at the new Yankee Stadium. Please, do some research (like me!). He's only hitting .213 at home (which is confusing). Try as you might, the fact remains that Alex Rodriguez is THEE reason why the Yankees have the 3rd best record in baseball today. He has made everyone better offensively while playing great defense over at third which studs named Cody Ransom and Angel Berroa could not provide.

I suppose it also has to do with how you define "valuable" in these arguments. Are you one of those morons that believes the award should go to the best player on the best team? Because that is retarded. The guy with simply the best stats? Please, you're embarrassing yourself. These kind of awards should ALWAYS go to the guy that can not be replaced and makes his team better. This is why LeBron should have 3 MVP awards right now and why Peyton Manning should be the MVP every year. The Colts are the Lions with Jim Sorgi running the show and Tony Dungy's kid kills himself for completely different reasons (too much Sorgi).

So suck on that haters because I am dead serious about this Bayless-ism. Baseball Jesus is the MVP (so far). Fucking deal with it...and pray that something happens today.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

What game are you referring that occurs on Monday of the all star break? The WNBA? Not sure what you are talking about here. Today is the worst day in sports. Absolutely nothing being played.

It's not that much of a stretch for ARoid to be MVP. Nobody is really having that great of a season in the AL outside of Mauer. If the Twins win the Central. it'll be hard not to give it to him.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

A-Rod blows this year.

Pujols is Baseball Jesus.

Brad Hawpe has a better OPS than A-Rod, so shove that stat up your ass.

I'll be screaming GAY-ROD every bat of his that I witness in Yankee Stadium on Saturday.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Maybe you were talking about the awesomeness that is the celebrity softball game? Wow, another double post. I'm on a roll.

-Damman

GMoney said...

Maybe I wasn't clear. There are no events of meaning in any sport played on the Monday/Tues/Wed of All Star Week...other than the celebrity softball game.

Hawpe plays on a .500 team whose ace is Jason Marquis and he can't even hit a home run off of Papelbon. He sucks.

Gay-Rod...wow, did you just come up with that one yourself? You must have been up all night crafting something that witty and fresh. Here's something that you could yell instead:
BRANDON INGE BEING IN THE ALLSTAR GAME WAS A FUCKING JOKE.

It's got a good ring to it. Man, some New Yorker is going to beat the shit out of you.

J Beanie said...

I hate you Skip.

Anonymous said...

Inge deserved to be there, one of the tops in HR'S and is a great fielder.

Mr. Ace said...

I think you just made Skip Bayless blush...and then go pound a semen shake.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Inge also deserved to be in the home run derby with that awesome home run hitting display he put on... He blows.

Seal

Anonymous said...

he's better than grady

GMoney said...

He's not better at drunk driving than Kevin Grady.

And everyone is better than Grady Sizemore this year.