Thursday, July 23, 2009

Erin's Video Was An Inside Job!


By now, most of you have already masturbated ten times to the leaked Erin Andrews video (still available at Spankwire.com, I believe). But now comes an even more fun part...figuring out who the weirdo was that staged this event. Well, the New York Daily News has a guess:

"The shocking nude peephole video of ESPN reporter Erin Andrews was most likely shot by a fellow ESPN employee, Radaronline.com reports. Radar reports that the video was uploaded by a user named Goblazers1 (ed. note: Greg Oden?) who has been identified as a 49-year-old American male (it IS Greg Oden!). ESPN is infuriated, and has vowed to find the person who created the video."

I'll help. It's my civic duty to assist in helping the Worldwide Leader find out who the bastard was that showed us Erin in all of her curvacious glory. The suspects:

Jay Crawford - He went to Ohio U (CORRECTION - he went to BG which is even more sad)and has a history of sexual harrassment issues
Mike Tirico - Captain Blerd (that would be "black nerd) has a lovely legacy of stalking and sex-ting
Woody Paige - Who hasn't fondled the ass of a Cold Pizza hair stylist???
Chris Berman - The dirtiest man in the business...you're with me, leather
Kirk Herbstreit - I would bet a lot of money that he and EA have boned in the past. I guarantee it. Who knows, maybe he tapes his conquests like Dennis Reynolds.
Dana Jacobsen - She enjoys drinking vodka straight from the bottle and looks like a dyke anyway. The fact that she graduated from Michigan doesn't help either.
Sean Salisbury - I mean, who doesn't take a picture of his dick with his cell phone and then show it to his co-workers???

My guess, you ask? Well, I'm waiting to hear back with more info but I think it was Bill Belichick. The guy has a history of sleeping with married women. He has a lot of credibility when it comes to illegal videos. And let's face it, he's a scumbag. As I said, I'm just waiting to hear back from America's favorite narc...Eric Mangini.

Trust me, Erin, I will get to the bottom of this. And then we can get married. I will make this promise to you: every single time that you are naked, it WILL be videotaped. That sounds like a lovely wedding vow, eh?

13 comments:

Grumpy said...

That tool Ronnie on Big Brother graduated from Marshall. Nothing to do with Erin Andrews, just thought you'd want to know.

Mr. Ace said...

Didn't Jay Crawford go to BGFU?

My money goes on Lee Corso or Mark May.

GMoney said...

Mike Patrick seems like a guy who would do something like this, too.

J Beanie said...

Who cares who did it? Yes, it's the highest level of perv-y, creepiness you can reach. However, aren't we all sad we didn't think of it first? Or would have done the same thing given the opportunity? But if we are throwing out possible suspects, I'll take Neil Everett. He seems like someone who would do that.

Anonymous said...

Mike Greenberg would be my first suspect.

-Damman

Dustin said...

How can this list not include Harold Reynolds? He's a pervert, and this would be the perfect way to get back at espn! I can't believe you left Brian peppers off the list either.

GMoney said...

Good call, Dut. HR could be doing this out of revenge.

GMoney said...

Second guess for me...

PAM WARD!!!

Anonymous said...

Im gonna go with horseface herslef, Linda Cohn.

Seal

Tony B. said...

I'm going with Skip Bayless, but only because I'm sick of seeing his face. It would be the ultimate two-for: naked EA and no more Bayless.

Mr. Ace said...

Final Answer: Dr. Lou!!!

GMoney said...

Ace, that would not shock me all. The video was grainy but that could have easily been his spittle on the lens.

Grumpy said...

I think Linda Cohn is hot.