Tuesday, July 07, 2009
OK, today we're going to touch on the subject of celebrity (athletes, in particular) death. It's not the easiest subject to delve into but we do it here nonetheless. Why? Because who can address this topic with less class and dignity than your old buddy, G$?
Obviously, there has been an inordinant amount of famous deaths over the past week or two. Most recently, we've seen what happened to Steve McNair in his Nashville apartment. He was involved with this 20 year old Iranian mistress who ended his life in some sort of bizarre murder-suicide. They haven't officially called it this yet, but come on. It's right freaking there. She bought a damn gun on Thursday, pumps 4 rounds into Air McNair, and for some reason the cops can't put this all together yet.
So now we have everyone who has ever seen Steve McNair talk about how great he is. And that's fine. I'm not callous enough to think that he was not a decent person, but obviously he had his vices. We should reflect on his performance in the Super Bowl against the Rams. Or his brief revival with the Ravens. Or the fact that he never, EVER threw a spiral. Not once. Look at the tapes. Every single one of his passes was a wounded duck. He was Eli Manning before Eli Manning! All of these things are perfectly acceptable for discussion and tribute.
But don't you fucking dare talk about how great of a man he was. McNair was cheating on his wife (who gave him 4 children) with this batshit insane slut and because of that, he is no longer with us. From what we have all seen and heard, if he keeps his dick in his pants, he ain't fucking dead today. That is on him. Believe me, I've been in this role before with Sean Taylor. I defended him like none other and still can not stand it when people rip on the man, but I get where it comes from. Whether he was innocent at the time of his demise, you can't just ignore the past. And that is the real rub about all of this. No matter how honorable or favorite athletes and celebrities are, they ALL have skeletons in the closet. Charles Barkley is right...these guys shouldn't be role models at all.
*Cal Ripken apparently caught Kevin Costner fucking his wife and asked the Orioles to cancel the game that day.
*Ryne Sandberg had Raffy Palmeiro traded off of the Cubs after rumors sprouted that Palmeiro banged his wife.
*Kobe Bryant raped a chick.
*Tom Brady dumped his pregnant girlfriend for a supermodel.
*Derek Jeter is rumored to have herpes.
*The Vikings had a fucking sex boat!
*Brett Favre fucks goats and then makes them ge abortions.
Athletes are not who we think they are. It shouldn't surprise you that Geovany Soto smokes weed in the offseason even when he knows that he can't do that. Or that Shawne Merriman takes steroids. Or that Philip Rivers has his own functioning plantation chock full o' slaves.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: we all need to start rooting for the uniforms and not the people that wear them. Because some time and at some point in all of their lives, they have been sacks of shit. And eventually it will all come up and the people that it truly hurts is the fans that support that guy. I have two of these man-crushes left and it's for LeBron and Mariano Rivera. But if the King decides to leave next year or something ends up coming out on him that is less than flattering, then I will end it. No more man-crushes for this blogger. And If Mo keeps blowing saves to the Red Sox, I'll shit on him as well.
This is sad. Death is always sad. But we have to take these guys off of their pedestals and treat them, even posthumously, in a normal and sane manner. Oh, and gentlemen, let this be a lesson to you...always think with your head and not your dick. And never fuck an Iranian whore.