Monday, July 20, 2009

Broom Goes The Dynamite

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Or if you are a male gay, LOL!!! The unofficial second half of the MLB season started this weekend and, as they should, the Yankees swept the Tigers.

How did this happen exactly? I mean, I keep being told that the Tigers aren't frauds. Well, my MVP selection of Baseball Jesus was taking those "all-stars" deep all weekend. Mark Teixeira followed suit. The starting pitching was tremendous. And when you have potentially the best PITCHER of the past twenty years, any close game is over. Mo closed each game with ease. But it's easy to do that when you face a shitty team. And that is what the Tigers are...bad.

No one else in the league has had a problem hitting Joba this year. Except for the Tigers...twice. Whitetrashlander was just not up to the challenge of beating CC. Commenter Drew, making his first Yankee Stadium appearance, hopefully got his ass kicked by better fans of a better team. Welcome to New York, fuck-up.

That's 5 out of 6 this year from those losers. I wish we played them everyday. Your welcome, White Sox/Twins fans.


Dustin said...

The tigers might be the worst hitting team in baseball. It will be ok though... Carlos guillen will come back strong and hopefully they trade for someone. Clete Thomas in the 5 hole aint cuttin it.

I believe NY won the season series in 06... And we all know what happened in the playoffs.

Anonymous said...

First of all you can go fuck yourself. When A-Rod hit that home run and I heard someone yell "Another A-Bomb from A-Rod" I almost threw my $ 9 beer on their face.

As for my visit...

*The new stadium is amazing. I enjoyed seeing what $ 1 Billion can make. Easily the coolest big screen TV scoreboard ever made.

*Story from after the game....some of us went to Stan's after the game outside the stadium. This was a good time...lots of good 80's music and saw some Asian girl suck on her friend's tit...which was cool.

Then we were real drunk and decided we wanted to go to Brooklyn to see bars there. This really made no sense, but not much makes sense at that point. As we are about to walk down into teh subway, we see like 15 dudes yelling at each other outside Stan's. These are your traditional "when I get a bunch of beers in me, I look to start fights and rip my shirt off to show how tough I am" kind of guys...all rocking Yankees gear of course. So, it turns into an all out brawl. These guys are going at it pretty dude got beat up and lost his shoe and the dude that beat him up picked up his shoe and threw it at the guys face as he laid there on the ground. I thought this was hilarious. So, finally they stop fighting and seperate...these were all white guys.

Not more than 30 seconds after this on the same sidewalk some black kid starts yelling "Suck my cock mothafucka, suck my nuts" at this Escalade pick up truck that is slowly driving by. Then all of a sudden the truck stops and his big black man gets out of it and pops the this point we all dove behind poles and a collective "ohhhhhhhh" was sent out by people that could see this. The black kid pretty much starts running and then big guy reaches in his trunk and pulls out like half of a 2 x 4 pounding it in his hand. This fucker was going to beat up this kid with a 2x4 that he keeps in his trunk...for what I'm assuming is the ass whoopings he hands out. It was much better than the gun we expected him to pull out, but still just a wild 5 minute period with the brawl and then Mr. 2 x 4.


GMoney said...

Guillen hurt himself again in rehab and Zumaya is on the DL again. The White Sox or Twins will pass you by the end of the month.

Stan's is alright...always really fucking packed though. I'm going to start carrying a 2X4 in my trunk as well. But I will use it only to scare black kids.