Thursday, June 11, 2009

Your Draft Is Less Than 3 Months Away!


Guys, I know it. The posts at this once glorious site have been mediocre over the past two weeks or so. I'm not naive. At the same time, there is absolutely nothing going on in sports. The lead story on ESPN.com is about Amy Mickelson's tit lump. THAT is how dull June has been. So what do we do now? Where do we go from here? Well, bitches, it's time to start thinking about that one great day that you experience every August. It's time to start thinking about...

YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFT!!!

Oh, fuck yes. By the way, to those members that read this site, I'm leaning toward having the G$FL Draft on Sunday the 23rd. Nothing concrete yet, but that is what I'm thinking.

I've been sporadically doing some research for this upcoming season and the usual suspects like Matthew Berry have their position rankings out. There is one thing that always bothers me about these rankings. Why is Steven Jackson still considered a top 5 RB (believe me, he is according to the "experts")? This guy has done nothing special to warrant this kind of reputation as a superstar. Trust me, I owned him in a league last year and loved it when he scored 4 touchdowns for me in the first 12 weeks of the season and not even dressing for half of those games. He does this every fucking season! I realize that he doesn't split carries with anyone (Antonio Pittman? Seriously?) but still...you can't trust the guy to produce consistently.

Here are 3 more reasons why Steven Jackson should be avoided like Amy's tit lump (OK, asshole, breast cancer jokes are not cool at all):
1. The Rams are fucking terrible and will be losing big in at least 10 games this year.
2. Their offensive line is rotten. Even if they can run block decently, their QB's are going to get killed.
3. Steven Jackson had his penis replaced for a 6 foot long rastafarian pussy. He's just like Brian Westbrook in that they will always be a game-time decision. The only difference is that Westbrook almost always plays and Jackson will be deactivated 99% of the time.

Look, I spent $66 of my $200 salary cap in my auction league for him last year. I wouldn't spend $6 on him this season. For the record, I also spent $86 on Tom Brady last season. $152 of my $200 cap for 7 total touchdowns all season. Needless to say, I finished dead last. I just can't stress this enough to you fantasy players out there...NEVER DRAFT STEVEN JACKSON no matter if there is value there. Fuck him. Cut your hair, dick.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you need me to do a fantasy football draft guest post, I am more than happy to do so. Being a fantasy football guru and all, it is my duty to spread my wealth of knowledge to the less fortunate (Dustin, G$, GSaul, Pietsch).

Didn't you also have D.A. and Braylon on one of your other teams last year?

FYI, Braylon is a sleeper this year. Contract year=good Braylon.

-Damman

Upstate Underdog said...

Salary cap leagues are a bitch.

Dustin said...

Damman- you shouldn't have even made the playoffs. Ill print off your guest post and whipe my with it! I do agree that braylon will bounce back this year- that is only If my boy Brady starts. With our loaded offensive line we should be able to move the ball even If Jamal Lewis is running behind it. Its a great day to be a Cleveland brown!

Tony B. said...

Dustin, you would WHipe your ass with Damman's hypothetical post? Do you also enjoy eating pie with Cool WHip? You can't have a pie without Cool WHip.

GMoney said...

Salary cap leagues rule and take insane skill.

Braylon Edwards sucks. He always has and he always will.

rstiles said...

I could feel the draft coming