Thursday, June 11, 2009
Guys, I know it. The posts at this once glorious site have been mediocre over the past two weeks or so. I'm not naive. At the same time, there is absolutely nothing going on in sports. The lead story on ESPN.com is about Amy Mickelson's tit lump. THAT is how dull June has been. So what do we do now? Where do we go from here? Well, bitches, it's time to start thinking about that one great day that you experience every August. It's time to start thinking about...
YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFT!!!
Oh, fuck yes. By the way, to those members that read this site, I'm leaning toward having the G$FL Draft on Sunday the 23rd. Nothing concrete yet, but that is what I'm thinking.
I've been sporadically doing some research for this upcoming season and the usual suspects like Matthew Berry have their position rankings out. There is one thing that always bothers me about these rankings. Why is Steven Jackson still considered a top 5 RB (believe me, he is according to the "experts")? This guy has done nothing special to warrant this kind of reputation as a superstar. Trust me, I owned him in a league last year and loved it when he scored 4 touchdowns for me in the first 12 weeks of the season and not even dressing for half of those games. He does this every fucking season! I realize that he doesn't split carries with anyone (Antonio Pittman? Seriously?) but still...you can't trust the guy to produce consistently.
Here are 3 more reasons why Steven Jackson should be avoided like Amy's tit lump (OK, asshole, breast cancer jokes are not cool at all):
1. The Rams are fucking terrible and will be losing big in at least 10 games this year.
2. Their offensive line is rotten. Even if they can run block decently, their QB's are going to get killed.
3. Steven Jackson had his penis replaced for a 6 foot long rastafarian pussy. He's just like Brian Westbrook in that they will always be a game-time decision. The only difference is that Westbrook almost always plays and Jackson will be deactivated 99% of the time.
Look, I spent $66 of my $200 salary cap in my auction league for him last year. I wouldn't spend $6 on him this season. For the record, I also spent $86 on Tom Brady last season. $152 of my $200 cap for 7 total touchdowns all season. Needless to say, I finished dead last. I just can't stress this enough to you fantasy players out there...NEVER DRAFT STEVEN JACKSON no matter if there is value there. Fuck him. Cut your hair, dick.