Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Thirty F'n Days?

Sorry, boys, but today is one of those days where outside shit negatively effects the amount of time that I can blog. But then again, I'm actually too depressed to give you guys what you want. Why? Because it's quite obvious that the double standard in our legal system has reared it's ugly, bullshit head again. Apparently, you can buy your way out of even the worst of crimes.

I was always under the assumption that if you killed somebody, you were fucked. You would at least be spending a decade in the clink. Throw in the added bonus of being legally drunk and you can kiss your waste of a life goodbye. Which brings us to Donte Stallworth. We all know the story. He was drunk. He ran over a guy in his Bentley. It's about the slam-dunking-est of slam dunk cases for even the dumbest district attorney. This piece of shit is going to do some serious time. Yet somehow it all went wrong.

Fucker rescinds his not-guilty stance to plead guilty yesterday. His punishment was tantamount to sitting in a time out for two years. Stallworth's penance looks like this:

30 days in jail
a confidential settlement with the family of the guy that he killed
2 years of house arrest in which he is still allowed to play football
8 years probation
no driving ever again (in which he can get privileges back after 5 years)
1,000 hours of community service.

Stallworth was facing 15 years in prison. He got this fucking deal instead. I don't know who to be more pissed at here. Should I be angry at the DA for actually putting this joke offer on the table in which they were almost 100% getting a guilty verdict? How about the family for dishonoring Mario Reyes' memory by not making Stallworth suffer much and taking a likely small cash pay-off to keep them quiet? Or how about our fucked-up legal system that allowed this to happen? They already fucking let Leonard Little get away with murder, why on earth are the courts allowing this happen again!!!

Look, I've got a few readers that are or will be involved in the legal system. If ANY of you ever pull off shit like this and get a drunk-driving killer off with a slap on the wrist, I will pistol whip every one of your family and friends regardless of age. Of course, I would need to get a pistol first but I'm sure that Plaxico Burress would give me one if I asked nicely. I hate our justice system. Once again, the Reyes family gets fucked over by Donte Stallworth.

If he ends up playing for the Browns this year, I expect that asshole in The Dawg Pound with the dog mask and bone to run on the field with a chainsaw and give Stallworth what he has coming to him (that means cutting off his limbs). Fucking ridiculous. He isn't even good! I can accept Ray Lewis buying his freedom, but not this shit. I hate this country's legal system. Now if you don't mind, I'm packing a case of Grey Goose and driving down to Florida so that I can play bumper cars with human beings and only get 30 days behind bars. Assholes.

Oh! Before we actually part for the day, let me drop this on you: in this country, the punishment for killing pitbulls is SEVENTEEN TIMES more strict than killing a construction worker. Good to know. The terrorists have officially won.


Anonymous said...

Fucking PETA.

Grumpy said...

You expressed what many of us are feeling.

GMoney said...

I guess that that wasn't a short post at all and my regular life did not interfere with my kick ass legendary blogging life. I'm a liar.

Anonymous said...

If you read anything over the past few weeks, this was not a "slam dunk" case. The bum or whatever he was, was something like 10 feet out of the crosswalk when Stallworth hit him. This is on video. The prosecutors were definitely worried about winning this case. Sure, they were probably more worried since he got himself a damn fine legal team....but, this was not a slam dunk case.


Anonymous said...

In order to convict someone of something other than manslaughter yo need to prove intent. This was an accident, he did not purposefully run over the man. That is probably why he was able to plead down to this. I was not shocked at all when I heard this. Not to mention, whenever someone commits a crime they will almost always be charged with the largest possible crime, regardless of whether it could be proven. Often times it cannot, and it gets plead down.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Read something on the browns instead of on the fucking redskins and you would know that the browns are about to release him, so no he will no be in a browns uniform next season.

And it was 19x's the amount of time Vick did, and who did you steal that from? Tony Reali?


GMoney said...

I thought that Vick was in prison for 17 months. Whatever.

Intent or not, dude killed a guy. That warrants more than 30 fucking days. Whether the guy was a few steps from the crosswalk doesn't matter to me. He was drunk and he killed a pedestrian...that trumps all.

Stallworth is so bad that not even the Browns want him anymore, I guess.

Mr. Ace said...

Today's lesson, never jaywalk.

GMoney said...

Ace, or "don't be a Mexican construction worker"...kind of puts a damper on your dream, eh?

Tony B. said...

I had a friend who got 60 days in jail in Santa Barbara for drunk and disorderly conduct. Granted, he was really drunk and being stupid, but he didn't kill a guy and he ended up getting double what Stallworth got.

J Beanie said...

I didn't know Stallworth played for the Browns. Was he on the team last year? Maybe him and Leonard Little should make a "how to kill a guy while driving drunk and get away with it" video.

Tony B. said...

@ Beanie- I'll write that book right now-

"Be rich and famous."