Thursday, June 04, 2009

The Least Improved Player in Football


Or at least that is what EA Sports wants us to believe. Remember how excited I was when the NFL free agency season began? I was already getting my supplies ready to stalk Albert Haynesworth. While most of you, once we realized that it was only a 4 year/48 million dollar deal, believed that it was a good move for the Skins, you frowned at the other signing that day. The signing being the re-signing of CB DeAngelo Hall...for 6 years...and potentially 55 million dollars.

I defended that deal, if you remember. He was a different player after he was CUT BY THE RAIDERS after 8 games. Hall came back to his hometown and played extremely well in his brief time with the Redskins. He seemed to have a better attitude. He was actually doing things that his secondary brethren rarely did by catching easy interceptions (Carlos Rogers has the worst hands that I've ever seen) thrown by the three shitty QB's in the NFC East. But maybe I don't know as much as I think that I do (not likely). Why do I say this?

Because no player in the history of the Madden video game franchise has ever been downgraded as much as DeAngelo Hall. In the '09 version, he had an overall rating of 93. That's pretty damn good. In the upcoming '10 version of the game, Hall is down to a 68. SIXTY EIGHT! In one short year, Hall's ability and skill set has lessened by 25 fucking points! Let me ask you this: when you play Madden in the franchise mode and it's time to sign free agents, would you even think about signing a cornerback with a 68 rating? Of course not! But then again, you aren't a fetus face like Vinny Cerrato! And it bothers DeAngelo, too...

"Ah, I’m feelin’ good, man. We just keep trying to get better, but, yeah, I’m trying to blow off some steam with my Madden rating. I’m thinking about trying to get my name and likeness pulled off the game entirely. ‘Cause this is bull.”


Maybe this is a good thing though. Everyone needs some sort of chip on their shoulder. Maybe D. Hall will be playing like a stud this season just to stick it up the Asian asses of the dorks that program the Madden games? Or maybe this is just wishful thinking and I'm the last person in the world to realize that DeAngelo Hall sucks. And that is entirely possible.

The bottom line is that the genius of Dan Snyder just gave 23 million in guaranteed money to a guy who is a 68 in Madden. Fuck. Me.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice mail-in post.

Starting the weekend early, G$?

-Damman

Dustin said...

I never knew you were such a gamer! He will have a chance to redeem himself because Madden publishes monthly player rating downloads.

GMoney said...

I'm trying...there is just nothing to talk about. I've got something for tomorrow, I think.

Here's something that we can discuss that would not get it's own post: What are your thoughts on Conan's takeover of The Tonight Show. I have watched it the first three nights and love it. Last night, he and Andy bringing back "In The Year 3000" (they updated it) and ripping on Max for being an adulterer...hilarious.

I would put Conan up there with LeBron in that you are never allowed to say anything bad about him. Thoughts on The Tonight Show actually being funny again???

Anonymous said...

I watched the firt 2 episodes of the Tonight Show and I thought they were hilarious, too. It is definitely a welcome change from Leno. The first night when they broke the "D" in the Hollywood sign and Conan leads the studio tour and the second night where Tom Hanks gets hit by meteor...great stuff. I like how Conan actually does his own bits. Leno sucked because all he would do is go out and ask people questions to make them look stupid.

Huge upgrade with Conan!

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

I've watched bits and pieces of the show all three nights and I've been impressed. I thought the opening of the first show was really funny. Never been a huge fan of The Year 2000 bit, but it was all right last night.

I like Andy, but I'm not sure how much he adds to the show.

I'm interested to see if some of the characters from Late Night will be continued (i.e. Triumph, Preparation H Raymond, Masturbating Bear). I hope they do, but I'm not sure if they are tame enough for the new time slot.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus has definitely aged well. Wow.

-Damman

GMoney said...

I think he's said that Triumph will definitely be back but the masturbating bear is up in the air.

I always liked when they showed pictures of a party or something where Conan, Max, and former announcer Joel would all get wasted. Those skits were hilarious.

Mr. Ace said...

The Redskins suck.

And so does Conan.

Jeff said...

Will Ferrells bit about things to do when new to LA on night one was hilarious.

GMoney said...

Mr. Ace, how many times do I need to remind you. Should I just get my broom out and leave it out so you can remember that savage sweep thrown Philly's way last year?

Go back to watching Leno or whatever queerbaits like you enjoy.

Anonymous said...

I don't watch any of these faggy late night shows. Do you rub your baby dick when George Clooney goes on the show for an interview? Give me a break...it's all garbage.

--Drew

MuDawgfan said...

He fucking sucks - best move Atlanta ever did was to cut his showboating ass.

The Falcons beat the Raiders 24-0 last year, in Oakland. In this post game interview, Michael Jenkins admitted - "Yeah, we pretty much found where DeAngelo was lined up and then checked to throw to that receiver.

Tony B. said...

Hall sucks- maybe not 68 rating sucks, but he's not good.

Conan on the other hand, is awesome. A huge upgrade over Leno. I just hope the timeslot doesn't censor him and ruin the show. So far so good though.

GMoney said...

Everyone, you will have to forgive Drew. He has not been the same since ESPN took Quite Frankly off the air.

That one should sting...like trying to watch D-Willis, Carmona, or Wang try to get out of an inning.

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT! SO IS THIS BLOG AND SO IS CONAN SO FUCK OFF AND CONTINUE BLOWING YOUR BOSS AT WORK TRYING TO GET A PROMOTION TO HEAD PROSTITUTE!

GMoney said...

SORRY STEPHEN A., I DID NOT MEAN TO OFFEND YOU!!! It is perfectly acceptable to use lowercase letters, you slack-jawed yokel.

I could never be head prostitute anyway...not with your mother on the payroll. But I don't need to tell you about that, you anonymous fuckqueef.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tony B. said...

Anon just froze my brain- G$, if in reality you suck no cocks a day (seems likely) and your blog sucks even less than that, then that means your blog is actually really good.

Is fucking dogs really a paying gig? Damn- seems like there's not much of market for it.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
GMoney said...

Look, fella, if you aren't even going to try, the shit is getting deleted. This is a tasteless blog, but you have to at least have something to say.

Anonymous said...

OOH STOP WITH THE DELETION AND CONTINUE WITH THE DICK SUCKING YOU FUCKING GAYTARD!!!!!


THE REDSKINS SUCK DICK!