Thursday, May 07, 2009

Brett. Favre.

Those two words have quickly become two of the worst "words" in the English language, haven't they? Any time his name is brought up, you immediately roll your eyes, change the channel, or shit your pants, right? He says that he's done. He fools every writer into believing that. Hell, he even got John Madden to retire out of depression from his departure. Then he convinces the Jets to release him. And then sets up a secret meeting (likely in Hell) with Vikings coach, Von Kaiser. People, this is a done fucking deal. The gunslinger is coming back...again...for the second time. Brett Favre, I guarantee, will be the starting QB for the Vikings in week one.

And surprisingly, I could not be happier.

It's funny to me how Favre can't tell that he sucks. That he's actually worse than Sage Rosenfels now. Sure, "the kid out there" has a greater reward potential, but the risk is even higher. Football's favorite Jewish QB may not be great, but he'll be steady. And it will allow the Vikings to do what they do best: run the football with the best RB on the planet. With Favre running the show, he's going to take at least 6-7 runs away from All Day each game and likely do what he did last year with a 1:1 TD to interception ratio. Teams that are set up like this never win in January.

In essence, Favre will make them worse. I'm not really sure why Vikings fans think that a 40 year old QB makes them NFC favorites anyway. Have they not seen this guy recently? The guy's track record in domes has been suspect, he has proven to not be very good in cold weather anymore, he has been awful in the playoffs for a decade now, and the Vikings have no one for him to throw to except for Visanthe Shiancoe's pants python! I ask you, what is the better option if say you were a Vikings fan:

Favre throws 25-28 times per game, Peterson gets 18-20 carries
Rosenfels throws 18-20 times, All Day gets 25-28 carries

I would take option #2 in a heartbeat. And believe me, I think Rosenfels is quite crappy. The turnovers that each QB will likely be the same (a lot), but wouldn't you want your best player to have the ball in his hands more and not have to worry about stroking some old guy's ego? Makes sense to me. You can win with game managers. Look at the Giants. Their QB is terrible yet they won a Super Bowl in spite of him. In today's NFL, you win titles when your QB checks his attitude at the door and doesn't force things. Who finds the open man and makes plays when he has to. Not really the description of Mr. Wrangler Jeans, is it?

But then again, the Vikings could trade for the '85 Bears (in their primes) and they would still lose because their coach is a fucking idiot. That guy could fuck up a cup of coffee.

As I said though, I want this to happen in the worst way. Athletes rarely have this sort of fall from grace like this hillbilly will have. Packers fans still love him...not after he signs with Minnesota. Jets fans kind of like him...not after he uses them to get to the team he wanted to go to last year. Vikings fans will love him...not after he blows a playoff game for them with 4 interceptions. It is going to be sweet. The man, who two years ago everyone loved, will end up walking away from the game again in another year with almost zero fans and a completely destroyed legacy (I hope). This is different from Michael Jordan. He could kind of still play but was surrounded by turd sandwiches. He wanted to put the Wizards back on the map and make them a contender again. Favre is just a mercenary for hire whose best days ended in 1999.

He really is a sack of shit who only looks out for #1. He doesn't give a fuck about his teammates or the organizations that he latex fists. It's all Brett, all the time. Other than the fact that Vikings fans will have to train themselves to root for Favre and another season of Brett embarrassing himself, at least we can now officially eliminate the Vikings as a potential Super Bowl contender. Because they aren't going anywhere with #4 throwing deep balls into quadruple coverage. It's always nice to get that out of the way.

Welcome back, Brett. Here's one person that is welcoming you with open arms! And if I can give you one piece of advice it would be this...just keep chuckin' that football into triple coverage. Nothing beats that. But make sure that you cry at your third retirement press conference this coming wouldn't be winter without it.


Grumpy said...

Couldn't have said it better. He will shatter the Vikings single season record for interceptions.

Anonymous said...

I hate Brett Favre. Now we have to listen to Mort talk about him and Favre texting each other all summer. I wish Peter Griffin would have threatened to kill Favre instead of Craig T. Nelson.


Dustin said...

I disagree. I think favre will fit in perfectly. His threat alone will open it up for my boy Adrian Peterson to run wild! You can't honestly agree with the common man that sage fucking rosenfels is a better fit! Did you watch him against the colts last year!? Favre at 50 percent is better than sage.

GMoney said...

Yes, I did watch him against the Colts. Did you watch Favre the last 6 weeks of the season? He was worse.

I don't want a QB that thinks he can make every throw eventhough he can't.

I look forward to Favre shitting all over his legacy this year.

SSReporters said...

Favre isn't going to be a threat because Brad Childress has the coaching IQ of a peanut.

At least the Vikings will make even the lousiest DBs look fantastic.

Dustin said...

Favre was injured the last 5 weeks of the season! And no, that was not worse than sage rosenfels. Aside from any browns qb, that was the worst 3 minute stretch by a qb in NFL history!

Anonymous said...

you gotta love the Manny news huh g$???


Mr. Ace said...

Dustin, Favre didn't repair his injury!!! It will be the same shit as last year down the stretch. He will blow. They will probably give up a 2 game lead in the division to the Bears in the last 5 weeks of the season.

The only way this works is if Favre averages less than 20 attempts per game...and that aint happenin.

GMoney said...

Tomorrow, Seal, tomorrow.

Drew, you're the biggest Favre hater that I know. Excited that he's going to come back to the North?

Ace, you should know better. Dut doesn't watch sports. He watches HGTV.

Mac G said...

Yo haters, number 4 stays retired.

GMoney, are you on Twitter yet? macg_og is my screen name.

Anonymous said...

G$...Yes, I am the biggest Favre hater you know...and I just read that he told the Vikings no thanks. What I love about is he is going to have a press conference to explain his decision. What the fuck is that for? Didn't you just have a press conference to explain why you were retiring? Now you need another to explain it again?

What a fucking faggot.


Anonymous said...

Not even going to read this garbage. Not likely to happen anyways but The only thing that I read was Favre worse than Rosenfels.. I would and most would take an 80 year old favre over that stiff Stage.. thats all I got to say about that. Peterson will get his carries with or without favre.

GMoney said...

Mac, I'm too cool for Twitter.

Jesse, all I'm saying is that the Vikes don't need a "riverboat gambler". They need a steady hand that can keep defenses honest. I don't think that Rosenfels is good, but he's a better fit for what Minny is trying to do this year than the guy that likes to throw 30 times a game.

But apparently, all of this talk was worthless...I'll believe it when the 2009 season ends. That fucker is coming back again, I guarantee it.