Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Yo! Corso To Go? No.


Yesterday, I was scouring the 'sphere and came across a site that I had never been to or even heard of before: SECLiveNews.com. I don't care about SEC football. It's a great conference, I get that. But get over yourselves. The football fans down there are generally regarded as inbred malcontents convinced that America has been ruined in three months since the "colored guy" took control. I have nothing in common with Southern folk other than my hatred of Ohio State and love of fantasy NASCAR (because I'm good at both). Anyway, this site reported yesterday (and subsequently refuted the story a few hours later) that ESPN was going to be shaking up College GameDay.

Due to outside pressure from sponsor, Home Depot, this site stated that changes were going to take place on the set of, by far, ESPN's most popular studio show. Lee Corso and Chris Fowler would be gone. Herbie and Desmond the Token Black Guy (whose presence is quite pointless) would stay. Replacing Cors-YO! and Fowler would be Dr. Lou Holtz and Karl Ravech. Ugh, I'm relieved that this turned out to be a rumor because I would rather watch ESPN2's Saturday morning fishing shows than to view this rumored horseshit.

I like Ravvy, but he's not a football guy. He's good at ignoring Steve Phillips, but Lou may be too much for him. Fowler is flawless at mediating between his semi-crazy co-anchors. Holtz though? Really? Home Depot apparently wanted the Beverly Hillbillies grandma promoted to the big show so that he can spit on a live audience. Dr. Lou sucks. Period. He's funny because he's retarded but he doesn't know shit. For God's sake, he picked Florida and NOTRE DAME to play for the BCS title this upcoming season. He believes that the Irish can go undefeated! You want evidence? Here you go.

"I don't think there's any team on Notre Dame's schedule that they're not capable of beating," Holtz said, projecting himself into 2009.

If Charlie Weis goes undefeated this season, I will eat nothing but various types of animal shit for an entire year. How can a man this inept and biased replace Corso? Corso has his faults (his crush on USC) but at least he's entertaining and somewhat coherent. For a pencil company executive, he knows what he's talking about most of the time. And while some people hate his mascot head schtick, it has never gotten old to me.

Who knows though, maybe this was really never talked about and SECLiveNews.com was just trying to get some hits. But then again, this wouldn't be the first time that people have fucked up a good thing. Especially in Bristol. Do we really need a 65th team in the NCAA Tournament? Does a team with championship aspirations really need Gary Sheffield? How does HERM! Edwards keep getting work? Some things in life just don't make any sense. This happens to be another one of those unnecessary ideas. Maybe a few of Dr. Lou's magic tricks can help me figure it out though...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate hilljack SEC fans. They wake up in the morning in their double wides incoherently chanting S-E-C as they prepare for another day of not going to work (although they should be commended on their smoking hot coeds).

Holtz picks ND to win 10 games every year. Him and Mark May together are unwatchable. Bring back Trev Alberts!

College Gameday is the best show on ESPN. Until Corso keels over they should keep things just the way they are.

-Damman

rstiles said...

Why would ESPN even think about changing something that works...

Fowler is fucking solid as the anchor...

Like Anonymous stated, keep everything as is until Corso kicks the bucket...

GMoney said...

I'm totally on board with bringing back Trev! He was a hilarious douche.

"Ohio State is a nice team who had a nice season that will go to a nice bowl game."

J Beanie said...

I read a few other rumors: G$ is being replaced by Damman and Holtz is being replaced by the cookie monster.

Anonymous said...

This blog gets an epic FAIL today. You really wrote about some dumb rumor that a blog that has been in existence for all of two months came up with?

Oh...and you can give up those retarded ideas of yours that the Tigers are going to trade Miggy...

Some rumors are denied. This one had a door slammed on it.

With one of his strongest replies to any question he's been asked in his current role as the Tigers president and general manager and chief executive officer, Dave Dombrowski on Tuesday called the repeated speculation he's heard on ESPN that the Tigers could make Miguel Cabrera available for a trade this season "completely absurd."

"Not only that, but it upsets me," he said. "We have no intention whatsoever to trade him."

Dombrowski said he's heard such speculation more than once on ESPN.

"There's nothing that can happen this year that would make us think about trading Miguel Cabrera," he said. "The guy's only 26 and might be battling for the MVP award. It's not going to happen. We have an owner (Mike Ilitch) that would never let it happen."


--Drew

GMoney said...

It was a prediction, dipshit. We can't all be as awesome as Mo Williams. But I'll believe it when August rolls around and Dombrowski is acting like Roger Dorn in ML2.

If you don't care for the post, then blow it out your ass. It's playoff time and the blog tends to suffer on game nights. You are the Will Bynum of commenting anyway...that means that you suck balls.