Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Adam Dunn Tends To Have That Effect On People


So...legendary Phillies announcer, Harry Kalas, collapsed at the park and died yesterday. I don't think that I have ever heard him call a game so I'm not going to pretend that this was a huge loss to me. Sure, I'm sad at the loss of life for another human being; I'm not trying to be Kalas (see what I did there!). But really, this means very little to me. Kalas was not involved in the scene in The Naked Gun when they had 10 announcers in the booth to call a Mariners/Angels game, so he couldn't have been that good. For God's sake, Dick Vitale and Dr. Joyce Brothers were calling that game! If Kalas was special, he could have cracked that rotation.

Phillies fans are absolutely destroying the internet now with sappy stories about how they used to listen to him on the radio when they were a kid and blah blah blah. I don't have that same connection. First of all, listening to games on the radio is for the Amish. It's called a TV...get with the fucking program. And if any of the Yankees announcers (radio or TV) collapsed, sadness would be the last emotion that I would go through. Especially Michael Kay...I hate Michael Kay.

Is there any way that this whole thing could be a hoax though? I've never been to a Nationals game before but I would assume that people fake their own death all the time to get out of there without having to watch that team. That happens, right? Back in the 80's, Herb Score used to fake heart attacks like he was Red Foxx all the time to get out of Municipal Stadium before the end of another Indians loss.

I don't have a connection to any announcer in any sport now that I think about. Well, except for Austin Carr. Wait a minute, maybe I should think about this some more. I'm thinking about having to watch the Cavaliers without AC's constant awesomeness...Oh God, the horror...I'm going to need a minute here to collect myself.

(sobbing uncontrollably for 2 hours)

Yep, now I know exactly how Phillies (and baseball) fans are feeling right now. And that would suck balls. Do you hear that, Grim Reaper, you'll never take Mr. Cavalier away from me!

6 comments:

Dustin said...

Where's the heart, g$?

I never saw mark fidrych play, but I was a bit sad last night when I heard he died. Maybe its just all the old timer stories, or the fact that a dump truck fell on him. I don't know. Lifes a fragile thing.

Mr. Ace said...

Dustin, what has Jersey done to you?

GMoney said...

Life is a very fragile thing...especially when a dump truck crushes your face. Why are you sad? The guy retired 4-5 years before you were born. I didn't cry like a bitch when Mickey Mantle died.

This is a blog, not therapy. Take your issues up with people that give a shit.

Anonymous said...

I, for some reason, have this deep fondness for listening to baseball games on the radio. Being a Reds fan I would be saddened when Marty Brenneman dies and was saddened when Joe Nuxhall passed away. (I did not cry like a little girl though) You could never get the Reds on TV when I was a kid so I guess that is the way I followed them.

I am a bit dissapointed we did not get a Nick Swisher love fest for his scoreless inning last night.

Hoffman

Tony B. said...

When the upper-half of Ron Santo gives way I'll be bummed- though I don't listen to Cubs' games on the radio all too often.

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