Monday, March 30, 2009

Smarch Madness Pt. Deux

OK, I'm just going to come right out and say it, college basketball sucks this year. There is no argument that you can make that will change my opinion. The 16 best teams in the country were only able to produce 1 good game out of 12. That blows. And don't even get me started about how poor this year's Final Four teams are. Well, considering that it takes place in Detroit, it makes sense that we get to see 3 hateable teams battling it out to cut the nets down. But we'll talk about that more later because I want to discuss more than just college basketball's shittiness today.

College Hockey
-Now I realize that this is sort of a niche sport and will never captivate the country. But, dammit, the playoffs every season are exciting and this year is no different. I found myself (and my roommates against their will) watching a lot of this on ESPNU over the weekend. I watched two games that had goals scored with under 5 seconds left to send the games to overtime. Not once, but TWICE did this happen. Amazing. And probably the most amazing thing of beloved Miami RedHawks are heading to their first ever Frozen Four!!! In sort of a rebuilding year, we managed to win our pod and now head to DC for a one in four shot at a national championship!!! I watched the clincher at The Stube on Saturday and when the clock hit zero, I was celebrating like some sort of rabid pedophile at a Chuck E. Cheese. I can't wait to watch the RedHawks next weekend.

-Admit it, even if you don't care for golf, you are somewhat interested in Tiger Woods. And hell yeah, the pimp is back. I've missed the clutch putt followed by the huge fist pumps followed by the awkward embrace with his asshole caddy. I'm glad he's back and I can't wait to watch him win The Masters by 3 strokes in 2 weeks.

High School Basketball
-I had not attended the Ohio state basketball tournament in a long ass time. A group of us decided to change that this weekend since Tinora (about ten miles away from where we grew up) were playing for the state title. Oh, apparently She$ used to babysit for a few of the kids which should make her feel incredibly old. As for me, I didn't feel old, I just felt like I was lucky that my Megan's Law violation was ignored upon my entrance into The Schott. All in all, a pretty good time. Tinora lost to Cleveland Central Catholic which has to be the first time ever that a group of inner-city kids were able to beat some farm boys in hoops. I guess there is a first time for everything. Remember the name of CCC's Anton Grady. Dude is a 6'8" sophomore who looks like he is going to be a baller. And Tinora pulled off a feat that I had not seen since my 7th grade basketball playing days...being shutout in the first quarter!!!

Baseball Injuries
-Dontrelle Willis went on the DL yesterday with an anxiety disorder. Seriously. Oh, but don't worry, he said that he's not depressed. The Tigers are off to a great start. I don't know what's more impressive: crazy pitchers, having no closer, or the fact that season tickets are down 44% this year and somehow you have to pay that 125 million payroll. The fire sale is coming and it ain't waiting until the end of July.

College Basketball
-Thursday gave us the Pitt/Xavier game and that was fine, but the other 3 games blew. Friday gave us 4 shitty games. The Pitt/Nova game was a classic in every sense but I'm also wondering if we are thinking of this as high because the entire tournament has been a turd. And both Sunday games sucked. Can you remember when the NCAA Tournament was this crappy? 90% of the games are blowouts and the teams that keep winning aren't fun to watch! No one outside of Connecticut or Michigan is remotely interested in that UConn/Sparty game. It's Suton! It's Thabeet! It's Calhoun's phone bill! It's next! The Carolina/Nova game could be good but I wouldn't count it. Oh man, if Villanova doesn't win on Saturday, I might not even watch the title game. By the way, let's finally all band together and come to the same conclusion that Tyler Hansbrough is not even the second most valuable player on his own team. Ty Lawson has proven that he is THE GUY on that team that makes them go. He's played himself into the Lottery over the past 3 games. And Danny Green is a better player than Beaker, too. Did you see what Snake Griffin did to him? Sure, the rest of the Sooners couldn't have won the Ohio high school state tournament, but Griffin made Hansbrough his bitch. How about that dunk attempt in which Tyler was 4 feet away from the rim, realized that it was not physically possible to even touch the rim, so he threw the ball off the backboard at about 120 mph!!! What a terrible player.

One more time, this NCAA Tournament is horseshit. But if one good thing came out of this, it's that commenter Dut went from being a lock to win The Money Shot's bracket challenge, to being eliminated. It looks like it's down to Paul, Fruth, Lange, or Rex to take the title. Either one is fine by me. As for the rest of the week, Groom Knows Dick returns tomorrow with perhaps my most epic rant and we've got MLB previews on Thursday and Friday. Wednesday is a 7 minute video of me showering!


Anonymous said...

*You are a moron if you think Friday's MSU/Kansas game was shitty. That game was awesome.

*I went to the two Division I Semi-Finals on Friday to see the OSU future (Jared Sullinger, Jordan Sibert). Dudes are ballers.

*College hockey is indeed cool...watched OSU get butt fucked by Boston on Saturday.

*I'd go on the DL with an anxiety disorder if I could too.

*Tiger Woods is a faggot.


Upstate Underdog said...

I'm eagerly awaiting the epic rant.

GMoney said...

MSU/Kansas did nothing for me. Maybe it was due to the lack of crowd noise. Not the fault of the fans though as playing basketball games in football stadiums is absolutely stupid.

What did you think of future RedHawk, Orlando Williams, from Princeton? Threw up a 19/10 against Sullinger.

Really? You're a Phil guy? There goes the last shred of respect that I had for you.

Anonymous said...

That's fucking right I'm a Phil guy.

Orlando Williams looked pretty good...although I wouldn't say he did that on Sullinger considering they play a completely different position than each other. He also was crying like a 3 year old girl when they lost.

MSU/Kansas was awesome...especially how the officials let them play. Completely agree with you on the football stadium issue. The Final Four got extremely lucky though with MSU making it to Detroit...the cheapest tickets you can get on stub hub for just Saturday are almost $300. That place is going to be very loud for MSU.


MuDawgfan said...

Care to wager that the field beats Tiger at Augusta in 2 weeks?

Dustin said...

You keep saying there's going to be a fire sale, but who are they going to get rid of? Nobody wants Sheffield, Robertson, Willis, or magglio. Who would they get rid of? Guillen? He doesn't make that much. Same for granderson, polanco, and verlander. And there's no way they're letting miggy go. There will be no firesale even If they don't win a game the first 2 months. Their players are untradable. This is just wishful thinking on your part so you don't have to see the tigers put another ass woopin on the Yankees in the playoffs.

And our first round pick last year, Ryan Perry, might take down the closer role. At minimum he will be the set up guy.

Dustin said...

I shouldn't have given you that inside information on Perry... I better pick him up in the fantasy league!

GMoney said...

Exactly, Dut, they are fucked. They are backed into a corner with their payroll that they won't be able to afford after May. I fully expect Miggy Cabrera to be playing somewhere else by the end of the year. But I hope that this prediction doesn't give him an anxiety disorder.

Phil fucking sucks. Sure, I'll bet you that Tiger wins The Masters. And if it doesn't happen and some fag like Zach Johnson wins, I'll re-neg on that bet because I am a stand up fella.

The thing about the Final Four that sucks is that there are only TWO sure-fire lottery picks (Lawson and Thabeet). There's no star power at all. It's going to be dull.

Dustin said...

The tigers aren't getting rid of miggy. You are not smart If you really believe that.

Anonymous said...

G$, can we expect you to pick Chad Billingsley for the NL Cy Young Winner in your preview post for the 3rd year in a row this year?

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

Dut, if they HAVE to shed salary (and they will) and no one wants their old guys (which they won't), your only option left is to get rid of the 20 million dollar/year man. Call it the Riger Dorn in ML2 theory for how he dumped Jack Parkman.

Li'l Strut...perhaps.

SSReporters said...

"Can you remember when the NCAA Tournament was this crappy?"

2007. That was the year where no double digit seed made it past the 2nd round and the biggest upset was #11 seed Winthrop beating #6 seed Notre Dame.

I think the NCAA Tournament is beginning to suck because the top teams in the nation are slowly beginning to permanently separate themselves from teams like George Mason and Davidson.

When the only double digit seed to make the sweet 16 is a team that I still believe had no right to be in (Arizona) then it's a crappy tournament.

Anonymous said...

G$...Got some good pics of your boy Hartline and his fiance...


GMoney said...

Drew, already saw them. He looks faggier than ever.

SS, the RedHawks were in that tourney and the title game featured Oden, Conley, Cook, Noah, Horford, Brewer, etc. That was money.