Wednesday, March 25, 2009

He's Just Saying What We're All Thinking

"I would be pissed if I got my ass shipped to Cleveland."--Chris Cooley, 3/18/2009

In case you aren't as internet saavy as I am, there is a little war brewing on the blogosphere between Redskins TE Chris Cooley and the demented and ignorant Cleveland Browns fanbase. Allow me to explain how this all started:

Last week, on Cooley's blog (which is fantastic), he mentioned that his name had surfaced in recent trade talks. He had heard that, in a 3 team deal, the Broncos would get Brady Quinn and the Rainbow Coalition, the Redskins would get Jay "The Pussy" Cuntler and Tony Scheffler, and he and Jason Campbell would be sent to Cleveland. First of all, Denver would be getting raped on this trade so it would never happen. Second, as much as I love Cooley and J-Camp, this would be a GREAT deal for the Skins meaning that Snyder would never do it because it's his goal to sabotage the organization through his own retardation. But that isn't the point really. Much like Ichiro, Cooley appears to have besmirched the mistake by the lake.

Anyway, so Cooley posts that quote and, of course, Browns fans get upset. They flood his comments section with a ton of vitriolic messages that feature more grammatical errors than JBeanie's formerly updated blog crossed with Clark Kellogg commentating a game of hoops. And he did what all great men do when presented with a situation like this...not apologize. He simply used his superior intellect and impeccable rationale to make the Browns fans realize how stupid that they are. I love it. Go ahead, check out the posts on his site. "Dennis" comes off like a pussy ass bitch.

What's the big deal anyway? The guy has a forum to speak his mind daily. There are weak rumors that he could be uprooting his life. He's honest about, he doesn't want to leave. The Browns are a loser organization with no direction, no stability, and no clue. There is no hope (unless you were once a backup for the Jets). No matter how proud of a Browns fan that you are, you can see his point, can't you? For God's sake, you hire a puppet GM and a coach that was deemed in a player's poll to be the man you would least want to play for. What do you expect? You throw all of this shit together and you wonder why no one good wants to wear the orange and brown.

Why would anyone want to play in Cleveland right now? I don't even think "a chance to start" is a viable reason anymore. If you ever wanted to see the football equivalent of the Major League Indians spring training roster, you may have it in The Dawg Pound this Fall. Most of these guys never had a prime. This guy's dead! Ironically, Man-genius invited Marquise Cooper to camp, too.


Dustin said...

I agree. it is getting embarassing to be a browns fan. Every day the mankok regime makes another move that makes me think... What the fuck?? If the browns trade my boy Brady for that waste of space Jason Campbell and a washed up old tight end, I may quit and save myself from the embarassment.

I also heard that they were going to trade braylon for Steve smith straight up. Not Steve smith of the panthers, Steve smith of the giants! A number 2 receiver! This is turning into a fucking joke. Aren't there any starters for the jets that we can trade for? Or do we have to settle for the 3rd string assholes that liked mangini because he's a giant pussy. Fuck!!!

Mr. Ace said...

Hey Dut, Steve Smith is a number 2 receiver only in your wet dreams.

You have been an embarrassment since you were an expansion team, why stop now?

GMoney said...

First of all, Professor Dut, Cooley has been in the league for 5 years and has made the Pro Bowl the last two seasons. Hardly washed up. Second, and Ace is right, Steve Smith from the Giants is a #4 WR at best.

The Browns are fucking terrible. Enjoy the 3 win season. Why not just move this "team" to LA and start over again.

Tony B. said...

If my job traded my to Cleveland I'd be pissed off too.

Dustin said...

Ace- the browns have just as many superbowl championshis as the eagles so shut your face.

Mr. Ace said...

Great point fag, dustin, every team hasn't won a super bowl in the last 10 years is on the same level. You are intelligent.

Anonymous said...

I think what Dustin was saying is that the Eagles have never won a Super Bowl just like the Browns, not just in the last 10 years. So in that case the Browns=Eagles

I also heard that the Eagles are interested in Braylon. I'm sure if Freddie Mitchell still played the Browns would want him in return straight up.


Mr. Ace said...

Don't be a retart....don't ever agree with Dut. And don't act like you know what he means. It is really cute how you two know each others thoughts.

And the Eagles aren't interested in Braylon. We already have enough wr that drop 60% of the balls thrown to them.