Friday, March 06, 2009

Go Get Him, Dan

Terrell Owens is on the open market. At first, I found this hilarious. For one, Jerry Jones completely lied about being happy with his team. Two, he's a douche bag that deserves to be treated like crap.

Then, I got nervous. It doesn't matter how horrible of a teammate Owens can be, when your team is run by completely insane and inept people, you never know what is going to happen next. Rumors were flying around that the Redskins would be in the mix on signing T.O. This scared the shit out of me. He's 35. He's known for dropping passes. He screams at his QB and throws fits when things don't go his way. He is a cancer in the locker room.

But with all that being said...I want him in burgundy and gold. That's right, I said it. I want Terrell Owens to be a Redskin. Allow me to list reasons why:

1. He's still a force that commands double teams.
2. He was faster last year than he was ten years ago.
3. The Skins haven't had a good WR since Art Monk. Remember Rod Gardner? Neither do I.
4. I think that you could get him on the cheap with a heavily incentive-laden deal. For at least this season, he's going to want to stick it up Jerry Jones' hillbilly ass.
5. Santana Moss and Antwaan Randle El suck.
6. If Jason Campbell truly is our QB, it's about time to start surrounding him with weapons.
7. The Redskins don't have a weak locker room like the Cowboys do.
8. Everywhere he has played, his teams make the playoffs if they aren't run by Tony Romo.
9. He actually has a chance to win with the Skins. Going to the Raiders would be a waste of time.

Now, the Skins have made it public that they have no interest in signing T.O. Fuck that. Dan Snyder has made plenty of retarded decisions in the past so why should this one be any different? I'm not going to sit on pins and needles praying for Owens to come to DC, but I will say that I would be happy if he comes in.

After all, Terrell Owens at his worst isn't half as bad as James Thrash somehow still seeing the field. Snyder has already bought the best defensive player on the about throwing a little bit more cash at the best offensive player out there. I have a feeling that he ends up with the Titans though (which would be a good fit). That is if he doesn't try and commit suicide again.


Anonymous said...

Him going to the Titans would be great. We could watch him and Vince Young team up to form one big pile of crazy.


Mr. Ace said...

You really want him in DC? It wouldn't take him more than a couple weeks and he would have Zorn and Campbell huddled in a corner sucking each other off. Zorn isn't ready for that. And Where is this strong locker room you speak of? Portis? Deangelo Hall? Some random O lineman?

GMoney said...

If the locker room was divided before, the Sean Taylor saga brought them together. Read Peter King or Dan Steinberg and they will confirm the chemistry.

Zorn isn't ready for a lot of things...but at least T.O. is a weapon (potentially of mass destruction, but still a weapon).

VY + TO = awesome

Anonymous said...

He will probably emd up going to the bucs, because they suck g$ cock. They need a suicidal freak on their team.


GMoney said...

T.O., Antonio Bryant, and K2 fighting for balls thrown by one of the horrible McCown Brothers??? I am foaming at the mouth in anticipation!

Tony B. said...

I'm actually disappointed in the lack of off-field problems Pacman, Tank Johnson, and TO had last year. I was hoping a story combining illegal weapons, strippers, friends posing as bodyguards, and suicide. What a let down.

J Beanie said...

If he goes to the Titans, do you think VY and TO would have a suicide pact?