Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Amateur Hour in Oxford

Eventhough it's March, I have a little college football-based rant that I need to get off of my chest. And by "little", I mean bitching about my alma mater which has won 10 games in the past 3 seasons.

Look, I'm not stupid. Being a diehard fan of a non-BCS conference team (which most people find pointless and it's hard to argue against that), I've learned to taper my expectations. While other programs in the midwest have goals of national titles each and every season, I have to be a bit more realistic when it comes to my RedHawks. All that I ask is that they contend for the MAC title, make a bowl game, and generally just be competitive. And the latter is easier said than done. Miami has made it a habit to over-schedule in the out of conference portion of the season. They will play anywhere between 3 and 4 BCS schools before conference play.

Let's take a look at the 2009 OOC schedule for my RedHawks (as of January 1st) and notice how awesome/amazingly difficult that it is.
September 5 - at Northwestern
September 12 - COLORADO
September 26 - at Boise State
October 3 - CINCINNATI

Wow. Amazing. You could combine every OOC in the SEC and this would be better than that. 3 BCS teams and the best mid-major program of the past decade all in 5 weeks. Considering that somehow we managed to get a program like Colorado to COME TO OXFORD and our annual rivalry game (which we no longer can even compete in) with Big East champion, UC, you've got to be impressed.

But, we totally fucked it up. And it's all our own fault. I don't know if it's our AD's fault or new coach, Mike Haywood's, but the way that Miami handled this is completely fucked. Gone are the @NW and HOME GAME AGAINST A BIG 12 TEAM and in their place is a "home" game against Kentucky at Paul Brown Stadium in Cincy and an opponent yet to be named which will probably some shitty FCS team. Bravo. Way to replace the one thing that the fans can get excited about during this upcomg rebuilding year and give us a shit sandwich instead.

The biggest joke of all is that we haven't officially notified either team that we are dumping them and they are sitting there with their dicks in their hands waiting on us to give them the word so then they can complete their own OOC schedules. Us, a 2-10 MAC school, are big-timing programs that were generous enough to give us fucking home-and-home series. The best part of all, our broke ass athletic department has to pay a VERY large buyout to Colorado for dumping them EVENTHOUGH THEY WERE WILLING TO COME TO SOUTHWEST OHIO!!!

This just pisses me off so much. It reminds me of those shitty Hertz commercials with Chris Farley's extremely untalented brother: WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE??? Exactly. Who the fuck do we think we are? After an episode like this, why would any BCS-level football program be willing to give Miami a 1-and-1 or even a 2-and-1. We don't honor our contracts and now have a history of weaseling out of them.

The best part about all of this: the notion that even if we catch all the breaks this year, the RedHawks are a 6-6 team. Oh well, at least all of our alumni in Cincinnati that are too lazy to drive 30 miles north on a Saturday afternoon for a home game can sit in Paul Brown stadium and act like they care for 3 hours. Ugh, this is such bush league shit. At least Miami's synchronized skating team just won the national championship! Suck on that one, cunts!

UPDATE! Contracts haven't been signed yet but it appears the Colorado football team will play at Toledo on Sept. 11 (a Friday night) on ESPN next fall instead of playing at Miami (Ohio) as originally planned. It is unclear whether Miami will pay CU the $750,000- cancellation fee required in the game contract signed by the two institutions in 2006, or if the Mid American Conference lining up another opponent will be good enough for CU officials. I know where Mr. Ace will be on 9/11.


Mr. Ace said...

I haven't been paying all that much attention to my Rockets this off season, but I thought that we were hosting Boise St. on Sept 12 this year. If we do add Colorado to the schedule we will be have Purdue, Colorado, Boise, and Fuckeyes in our OOC. So quit your bitching. I'm not surprised you uppity pricks are weaseling your way out of contracts. Dustin should be your mascot.

Anonymous said...

You see what MAC football talk can do to a blog?

Last week we had a Billy Packer blog, today MAC football. What's next? A Brad Garrett tribute?


Tony B. said...

UC Davis is playing at Boise St this year as well (Oct 3). Is everyone playing them this year?

GMoney said...

Ace, I'm guessing that because we are indecisive, your Boise game will be moved to another year.

Damman, at least I can admit when my team is an embarrassment. I wish that I didn't have to though.

I think you'll enjoy the pic/post I just put up.

Dustin said...

At least Damman will admit that his penis is an embarrassment!

Anonymous said...


We're only going to be on speaking terms until April 6 so how about we leave my dong out of out of this?