Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Insider MLB Info!!!


OK, so in order to keep my umpiring certification in the state of Ohio, I have to attend 4 local rules meetings every winter. They fucking suck. I can't state this enough. These things are the most boring events I have to sit through all year. I would rather work a 24 hour shift of sitting in my cube and staring at the two computer screens on my desk than sit through one of these 80-90 minutes abominations. But one time a year, it is pretty entertaining.

I belong to the biggest umpire's association in the country. I'm not going to brag about it because there is nothing to brag about. I'll just say what idiots say, "it is what it is". Fortunately, for one session we get access to central Ohio's own and MLB veteran umpire, Tim Timmons. I have been around MLB umpires before (at umpire school in Florida) and the stories that get told are fantastic. That is why I always make sure to attend the local meeting in which Timmons speaks. A few of the insider notes from an MLB umpire that I found intriguing:

-Ozzie Guillen is just as big of an asshole as you think
Do you remember the Sox/Royals game last August that resulted in a brawl after Ozzie apparently ordered his pitcher to hit a Royal in the head? Ozzie denied it afterward but Timmons had the plate for that game and heard Ozzie tell the Royals pitching coach ON THE FIELD that he called for that. Guillen was fined but it wasn't released to the public (until I just did it). And it's not as simple as just tossing the guy from the game. You have to file reports, take a ton of calls from the commissioner's office, report sworn affidavits; it isn't just showing the guy the gate. No, it takes much MUCH more behind the scenes than that. Even when a fucking idiot goes berserk on the field, umpires have to document everything said, write a report on it, and submit it to the commissioner.

-The Umpire's Union is fine with instant replay
You would think that they would be pissed off about it, but Timmons says that they aren't. The way that stadiums are designed these days, it's hard to get fair/foul calls and home runs accurate 100% of the time so they don't mind having a back-up to make sure that the call is right. The only thing that umpires don't like about it is the consistency. You see, at a stadium like Yankee Stadium, with the YES network and whatnot, there are 27 fixed cameras that can be used on close calls. But at a place like Kaufmann Stadium in KC in which there is only a local broadcast, they may have access to only 4-5 cameras. It's a small detail but kind of an important one.

-Umpiring in MLB is a dangerous job
Do you remember last April when umpire Kerwin Danley got hit in the jaw with a fastball? It was a pretty frightening scene. Chances are that you haven't heard about Danley since. Unfortunately, we were told tonight that due to the injury, Danley will never umpire again. And that's kind of sad. One fluke play can end it all.

Maybe you don't find this sort of thing interesting, but I do. It's cool to get a little insider knowledge of a sport that you watch daily. Well, there you go. Your weird uncle G$ dropping some truth on you...

7 comments:

Tony B. said...

Great post G$- I knew Ozzie was a huge asshole, but thanks for confirming it.

Mr. Ace said...

Ozzie is the greatest! Fags.

rstiles said...

Great interesting stuff!!!!

BTW, how is your co-worker?...you know, that woman that you bitch about all the time, but in reality you want to bang...

GMoney said...

She called off sick today, Stiles! Thanks for asking.

Dustin said...

I didn't know pony league umpires had to go through so much training!

Mr. Ace said...

Pony League? I thought G$ was still banned for the incident with the little girl in the slow pitch softball league.

GMoney said...

What happens at Oakwood Park, stays at Oakwood Park.