Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I Need Some Cheering Up

Last night, I passed up on going down to the Blue Jackets/Avalanche game. I figured that since that bitch Adam Foote wasn't going to show up and accept the boo's that he has rightfully earned, I might as well skip it, too. In the end, the Jackets won 3-0 to sweep the season series from Colorado. It looked like fun. In lieu of some quality hockey action, I decided that it would be better to stay at home and listen to the RedHawks and watch the Cavs game. Let me tell you how those games ended:

Miami lost by 2 points to a Central Michigan team (that was a robust 6-15) because they couldn't make free throws and enjoyed turning the ball over way too much.
The Cavs got royally fist-fucked in Indiana, 97-96, because the refs decided that LeBron fouled Danny Granger with .1 seconds left eventhough he didn't touch him. This is the first time all season that the Cavs have lost back-to-back games. Despite LeBron's scintillating 47 point performance, it was not enough to escape Cornfuck City. It was one of the greatest screw-jobs of the year but you won't hear about it because it didn't happen to the Lakers or Celtics. Bullshit

So needless to say, I'm fucking pissed off. The only way that my decision-making could have been worse last night is if I'd picked up a 6-pack of Schmitt's Gay and played chicken in a pool. But, what's the best way to lighten up your mood and get yourself back into a positive frame of mind???

Ass. Sports Illustrated released their Swimsuit Issue yesterday and I spent a hearty chunk of time at work scouring through the picks (I'm a great employee). As usual, they did not disappoint. And for the second year in a row, SI made Danica Patrick look fantastic. Apparently, Bar Rafaeli is the cover girl this year and you may know her as the girl that slobs Leo DiCaprio's knob on some beach that you could never ever afford to go to. Now I'm not the most knowledgeable person when it comes to the Swimsuit Issue, but I was able to narrow down my five favorites of all time (with pictures, of course). Because, hell, 80% of the models this year all have names with more z's and v's in them than vowels. Come on, ladies, cheer me up (in no particular order):


Kathy Ireland - whatever happened to her anyway?

Stephanie Seymour - banging Axl Rose is disgusting but she looked great in the November Rain video

Marisa Miller - Ah, Marisa, you can be She$ 2 if you want

Laetitia Casta - I've got nothing but she is really hot

Heidi Klum - Now I know that I'm better looking than Seal

Eh, I really don't feel any better. Oh well, consider it a reward for putting up my with angry, hate-filled rant. At least it had nothing to do with steroids. Body paint is the greatest invention ever. Even better than this blog.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Both the call on Granger and the call on LeBron were awful, so it evened out.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Not really because Granger knocked LeBron out of bounds while on the other end, Granger was not touched. Good job losing to the Bulls, ass.

Anonymous said...

Granger was touched as LeBron's body in the air pushed Granger away from the ball.

Both were fucking awful...don't let your brain get washed by the awful Cavs announcing crew.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Seriously, I knew you would come up with that bullshit today. Both calls were terrible. But I knew you would conveniently forget the call that was awarded to Lebron with .4 seconds left. Hilarious.

Don't talk about me posting about recruiting and mma when you start off with NHL.

GMoney said...

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/02/10/2009-02-10_15m_lawsuit_claims_exmet_roberto_alomar_.html

Roberto Alomar has AIDS. Now there is a story that we can all smile about.

That was awful officiating by an awful official. Joey Crawford is worse than Mr.Ace is at life.

Dustin said...

No official is THAT bad, g$!

Anonymous said...

"you won't hear about it because it didn't happen to the Lakers or Celtics."

Mmm...now you know what it's like for Indians fans or fans of any team not named the Yankees or Red Sox during baseball season.

-Damman

Annoying Blogger said...

I think the Abreu signing might just have been the most effecient move made by any team all offseason