Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Jay Bell's Parents Have Hall Of Fame Votes

Yesterday, it was announced that Rickey Henderson and Jim Rice will be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. While Rickey deserves to head to Cooperstown, I find it odd that he received only 95% of the vote. Considering that a loser like Cal Ripken was unanimous (or close, I'm not sure), Rickey should have gained 100% of the vote since he was ten times the player that Ripken was. As far as Rice goes, he'd been on the ballot for awhile now. I guess those 40 home runs that he hit for the Red Sox last season put him over the hump. What's that? Jim Rice hasn't played in a long ass time? So what changed over the past decade to make his career stand out more. I don't get this.

Look, I'm a snob when it comes to the Hall of Fame. Very good players should not be included. Cooperstown is for the greatest players to ever play the sport. And that's why the baseball Hall is the best. Because it's tough as Hell to get into. But let's take a quick look at the voting results for this season:

*It really bothers me that Don Mattingly is getting less than 12% of the vote.
*Greg Vaughn, Dan Plesac, and Ron Gant were all on the ballot this year.
*Vaughn, Plesac, and Gant got a combined zero votes.
*Shouldn't David Cone be getting more than 3.9% of the vote? The guy was the best big game pitcher in the 90's.
*7 people believe that Matt Williams was one of the game's greats. 6 people felt that way about Mo Vaughn.
*1 idiot voted for Jesse Orosco. Jesse. Orosco.
*Finally, Jay Bell...THEE Jay Bell, had two people write his name down. The same Jay Bell that wore bifocals on the field and was barely more than a utility player for half of his career.

Seeing this garbage, it got me thinking of a fun little reader-friendly game of one-ups-manship for today. It's time to dig into your rolodex of obscure 80's-90's baseball players and throw out your "Jay Bell-ian" hall of fame vote. I like to remember the days when catchers were lucky to hit over .200 and were as ugly as sin. My joke write-ins on my fake Hall of Fame ballot are: Tony Eusebio, Kirt Manwaring, Mike "Spanky" LaValliere, Chet Lemon, and one my favorite players that sucked of all time:

Have at it, readers, impress me with your shitty player recollection skills.


Anonymous said...

No player has ever been voted unanimously. Not Babe Ruth, not Willie Mays. So these idiot baseball writers always say, "If Babe Ruth wasn't unanimous, then player whoever isn't." It's a never ending cycle that will never end.

My random Hall of Fame vote goes to one of my favorite Indians of the 80's, Cory "the Rifleman" Snyder. I had the poster, I should know.


Allan Stokke said...

Ron Karkovice was an original member of the "Pussy Slayer" hall of fame.

Tony B. said...

Fat Dante Bichette was also awesome.

GMoney said...

I was always partial to Lloyd Moseby and Dan Pasqua.

Upstate Underdog said...

G$ I also thought of Pasqua, but I'm going with Mike Pagliarulo. He played 11 seasons and had a career avg of .241

Anonymous said...

I would vote Matt Nokes into the hall of fame with my vote.


MuDawgfan said...

Mark Lemke and Rafael Belliard.

This dynamic 1-2 punch at Second Base/SS had a combined 22 homeruns in 5 years (91-95).

That's clutch

Anonymous said...

Rob Deer.


GMoney said...

Drew, I'm glad that you went with Nokes. Mickey Tettleton would have been an easy cop-out answer. Way to raise the bar.

I hated Pagliarulo.

Steve Buechele and Rance Mulliniks

Mr. Ace said...

Mark MacGuire, Roger Clemons, and Raphael Palmero

jerseydevils30 said...

Nigel Wilson, look him up, he gets my vote

GMoney said...

Mr. Ace, good job not spelling any of those names right.


Anonymous said...

Ron Kittle, Kelly Gruber and O'debbie (sp?) McDowell. And pretty pretty much any Indians player from the '80s could crack this list (i.e. Andy Alanson).


GMoney said...

Those old White Sox teams were loaded with shitty players.

Todd Benzinger, Hal Morris, Kevin Maas

Carswell said...

You want suck, I'll give you suck. How bout my Texas Rangers.

Scott Coolbaugh
Ryan Drese
Rob Ducey
Cecil FUCKING Espy
Monty Fariss
Kevin Reimer

I rest my damn case.

mcjunken said...

I'll second Matt Nokes and throw in Kevin Seitzer. Those two were my two favorite players as a kid for some reason. And they probably have as good a chance of making the hall as does their 1987 rookie classmate McGwire.