Friday, December 19, 2008

This Means War

A lot can be said about how dangerous it is to defend one's country. But I can't say anything about that because I have no idea what that's like. I'm sure it would feature a daily dose of me shitting my pants and having my gun taken away because I keep shooting myself. There is one thing that I do know, however, and that is that this weekend's G$FL Super Bowl is going to be knock-down, drag-out fight to the death. Which is actually a pretty good analogy. If you ever sit down with a soldier that has done a tour over seas, they will always tell you that war and fantasy football are exactly the same.

And now I know that this is true. For this weekend, I have no choice but to shoot the best man in my wedding right square in the face. It's G$ vs. Damman. The Wet Bandits vs. The No Guys. The title on the line. I'm going for my 2nd championship in 4 years while Damman is trying to shed the label of G$FL's Marv Levy seeing that this is the third year in a row for him in the Finals and he's still seeking that first championship. Let's break down the matchup:

Damman (Yahoo has him as a 2 point favorite which is ridiculous, call Vegas and bet your house on me):
QB Cutler (BUF)
RB Tomlinson (@TB)
RB R. Brown (@KC)
RB Faulk (ARI)
WR Bowe (MIA)
WR Jennings (@CHI)
WR Colston (@DET)
TE Witten (BAL)
K Prater (BUF)
Dallas (BAL)
Thoughts: LT has sucked all year, even when he scores, he doesn't rack up big yards. Jennings is pretty much worthless for him since I start that QB. I'm not concerned about Bowe since the Dolphins haven't given up a TD in about a year and while Witten normally has big weeks when he's facing one of my teams, I don't expect a big game against Baltimore. The only thing that scares me is Cutler. The guy sucked last week and if history is any indicator, he will have a good week this week. I can handle 300 yards, but let's hope he only finds the end zone twice. Come on, Bills Defense!!!

QB Rodgers (@CHI)
RB Portis (PHI)
RB Forte (GB)
RB McFadden (HOU)
WR Bryant (SD)
WR Braylon (CIN)
WR Breaston (@NE)
TE Carlson (NYJ)
K Bironas (PIT)
Giants (CAR)
Thoughts: You all know my rule, always start guys playing on Monday Night. I LOVE having a QB and a stud RB in that game. Portis hasn't scored in over a month so I think he's due. I had a dilemma between Chris Johnson and McFadden and I went with D-Mac just because the Steelers swallow up RB's. I figured that I drafted McFadden in the 4th round and haven't started him since week 1, I may as well give him a go in the championship. Bryant is a freaking stud going against a crappy pass defense. I'm starting Braylon only because I want to beat a Browns fan for the title with him in my lineup. I wasn't going to play Breaston (Ocho Cinco instead) until I heard Boldin may not play and that means more touches for him. Carlson is getting a ton of balls the last few weeks.

Conclusion: I really like my odds. Even if I'm down 20 points heading into Monday Night at Soldier Field, I still think I'm going to win. When the dust settles on Monday night, your old buddy, G$, is going to be wearing the crown (we actually have a crown in this league thanks to my Prom King win ten years ago! I'm popular...well, at least She-Money is).

Fuck you, Damman, you are going down. Make you predictions for this epic battle in the comments. See you all on Monday morning.


Grumpy said...

Prom King? Even if that's true, no real man would admit it. Based on that alone, I'm rooting for the other guy. And you kept the crown? That's just not right.

GMoney said...

Grump, I don't get it either. I tried being the biggest asshole that I could be, but it didn't work. I will not apologize for keeping the crown though. It makes for an excellent fantasy football trophy.

Upstate Underdog said...

G$ will win. I'm saying this because I also have Bryant in my line-up this week.

Anonymous said...

My prediction is that I will score more points than both of you unworthy fucks this week.



GMoney said...

Drew, I've been waiting for you to piss and moan about that. What took so long? You can score all the points that you want to this the consolation game.

Face it, you suck as a fantasy owner.

J Beanie said...

Not going to lie, Damman's team looks much better on paper. My rule is always start your best line up. By over thinking match-ups, you bound to leave one of your regular starters on the bench and he'll blow up and then you'll hate yourself for it. If you haven't started McFadden since week one, why do it now? Got to go with Chris Johnson even against the Steelers. That could cost you.

Anonymous said...

G$, I'm facing Damman for the championship in Kenny's league. I also have Portis and I'm not starting him. He's not due for a TD, he's due for another meltdown. Sellers is getting the goaline carries anyway, and the Eagles have a top 5 rush D. At least Chris Johnson always has the chance to break off a long TD run...


Mr. Ace said...

I predict you starting Dmac over Chris Johnson will come back to bite you in the ass.

GMoney said...

The Steelers haven't allowed a 100 yard rusher all season! Considering that Portis probably won't score, I can't afford to have 2 RB's do nothing. CJ will likely have 15 carries for 46 yards good for ONE fucking point in my league. Could D-Mac have the same fate? Sure, but I like his odds of scoring a LOT more against the Texans than I do CJ's against the Stillers.

Anonymous said...


Hopefully, I take care of business this weekend and walk away with $ 60.

Suck my balls.


Anonymous said...

Sweet, I just found a way to get into here at work.

I don't know why, but I have a good feeling about LT this week. Benching Johnson is going to come back and bite you. Beanie is right, you are overthinking things. Pulling McFadden out of closet is stupid. But, I guess we'll find out soon enough.

I always felt I was overlooked for Prom King, it will be good to have the crown back where it belongs.

Saul, after Clark's good game last night I'm afraid you are in for a long weekend. You're old boy Thomas Jones is going to throw up a 20 spot and Drew Brees can't be stopped.


GMoney said...

FOR THE LAST TIME, why would I start a running back that doesn't get goalline carries against the Steelers???

Matthew Berry thinks that McFadden will have a good week and he is apparently a fantasy football expert.