Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Mack Won't Say It, But I Will


You're not going to hear him say it because he's a classy guy, but luckily for you, I'm not. College Football is a fucking joke. You're all blinded by it, too. No, it's not just the BCS either (it's actually not the problem at all). It's the voters (except for Travis Prentice who I just learned votes in the Harris Poll!). It's the fans. It's the pussy-ass leagues. It's the money-grubbing bowls. It's the financial structure. It's Paul Maguire. It's garbage. All of it. It's everyone's fault. From the head coaches to the guy that drinks an 18 pack over the course of a noon game and then heads home to beat the shit out of his wife and kids...ALL OF US. And I've got four gigantic bullet-points to back up the hypocrisy of the sport:

1. Texas got absolutely ear-fucked
I don't care, Oklahoma should not be in the Big 12 title game. "Oh, well, they crushed Texas Tech." My reply, 45-35. "But they average over 60 points per game over the past 4 weeks." 45-35. "Style points matter." 45-35!!! Why even play the fucking games if they don't mean anything? It's like if I said that eventhough the Giants only have one fluky loss and killed Dallas a few weeks ago, the Cowboys should get a free pass to the Super Bowl this year because they are slaughtering inferior competition right now. Does that make any sense at all? The Longhorns beat Oklahoma by double digits on a neutral field yet the voters say that OU is better. That is fucked-up logic. Let's not forget that Texas's only loss was on a last second play on the road in the biggest game in Red Raiders history. There is nothing that anyone could say that could make me forget about 45-35. Nothing. And this isn't even something that you can blame on the BCS either. This is the voter's fault. Shame on all of you. Don't you see what you've done? Bob Stoops' BCS bowl record is about as good as Jim Tressel's record vs. the SEC. Idiots. Thanks for giving us another non-competitive BCS Title game, jerks.

2. Boise State is going to get fucked soon enough
It's going to happen. Although the Broncos are undefeated and have a higher BCS ranking than Ohio State, OSU will get that final slot over Boise because of their name and name alone. Come on. Ohio State practically prints their own money. The Big Ten doesn't need the cash. The Buckeyes aren't going to get any credibility back by beating a non-elite team anyway. Obviously, Utah is already locked in, but just let this slide. The Broncos won all of their games this year. Chris Peterson's program is one of the most dominant in the nation. BCS Bowls, please don't just take the easy way out by thinking with your wallets. It's OK to reward the little guys. You're still going to get paid.

3. Prepare to get fucked, Tim Tebow
Why are Heisman voters so much against awarding a player the trophy twice? I will never understand this. Yes, Archie Griffin was a great college running back, but let's be honest, in the history of the game, he's not even in the top 10. Yet he is put up on this bizarre pedestal that apparently is at a place where no one else is allowed to go. Tebow is not just deserving of going back-to-back for the Heisman, but he could be considered the best college football player since Herschel Walker. If Florida's kicker doesn't shank an extra point against Ole Miss, this isn't even a discussion right now...the award would be on it's way to Gainesville again. Look, the voters in this sport have done enough shitty deeds this year, do the right thing and award the Heisman to the best player in the sport. Period.

4. Charlie Weis is still fucking up Notre Dame
I consider myself to be a pretty shoddy employee, but I am much more productive than Weis has been. They keep talking about shit-canning this lard-o, GET IT DONE ALREADY!!! The buyout isn't a problem? Then buy him out. He's pissing off the alumni? Send him back to Jersey. You aren't happy with the offensive guru's offense? Fire him out of South Bend via catapult. When you lose to Syracuse at home, that is more than just cause to lose your job. AHHHHHH!

I'm getting too worked up over this shit. I should know better. As long as the good old boys in college football still protect their own, nothing is ever going to change. I will never understand how people can say that this is the best sport when each and every year their are actions that are borderline criminal that diminish the greatness of the game. Wake up, people.

18 comments:

Grumpy said...

On the money from top to bottom, no pun intended.

Upstate Underdog said...

let me just say I'm glad I'm not a Texas fan. Fucking shit. I'm hoping that 4 or 5 teams end up with one loss. I'd love to see them figure that shit out.

Anonymous said...

Its kind of funny how Texas has beaten both teams in the Big 12 championship game. What a fucking joke.

glick

Dustin said...

Ohio state might play Texas in the fiesta bowl,,,I wouldn't call that playing a non-elite team. Also, there are 3. Qbs better than tebow this year... And they're all in the big 12.

J Beanie said...

Texas can be saved if Mizzu some how beats OU. If that happens, all will be right. Except then TT would get a BSC over OU and OU would be bitching that they killed TT. Texas deserves the Big 12 title but let's just hope all is right in the world and OU some how fucks this up and Texas leaps them in the final BCS standings.

I really hope OSU doesn't get a BCS game but like you said, I'm sure they will. I hope they play Utah and Utah destroys them. Boise State has been one of the most consistent teams in the last 4 years. They deserve the BCS game.

Tebow won't win the Heisman because he isn't putting up the numbers he did last year and the three guys in the Big 12 are putting up ridiculous numbers. Sorry, but Tebow doesn't deserve it this year.

And I'm sorry for my lack of commenting the last few days.

Mr. Ace said...

I wasn't aware the heisman was solely based on the numbers....so Colt Brennan won 3 heismans's right? The Big 12 QB's are very good, but they are a product of the worst defensive conference in college football history. I don't know that Tebow deserves it either, but don't even try to say all 3 of the big 12 qb's are more deserving.

So if missouri upsets ou, then will we send a texas team, that didn't even play in its own conferences title game, to the national championship? That's fucked up, that doesn't make anything right.

Dustin, do you really want osu to get embarrassed by texas? Wouldn't you rather watch a competitive game between boise and texas?

Tony B. said...

The biggest argument by college football fans who like the BCS is that a tournament would cheapen the regular season games. Somehow I think OU getting into the Big 12 Championship game over Texas is the ultimate way of saying "The regular the season doesn't matter." What a joke.

J Beanie said...

Ace - Yes, if Mizzu upsets OU, Texas goes to the title game against the winner of the SEC. Who would you send instead? USC? Utah? Penn State? They won their conferences (assuming USC beats UCLA) so does that mean they deserve it more than Texas who lost out on the Big 12 title game by a the worst tie-breaker in the world?

As for you Heisman argument, it doesn't go to the guy with the best numbers. The way voting has gone recently (and I don't agree with it) it goes to the quarterback of the best team who puts up the best numbers. So that, right now is Bradford.

GMoney said...

Tebow has, I think, scored 33 touchdowns this season with only 2 picks. Fucking amazing numbers. When they beat Bama on Saturday, they will probably jump to #1. Best player on best team wins, right?

Should OU lose, expect USC to jump Texas.

Mr. Ace said...

I am not saying that wouldn't happen, I am saying that shouldnt happen. Its a shitty situation. It is fucking retarded to have a team in the national championship that didn't even play in their conferences championship game. How can a team that didn't win their conference play in the national title game? That was the argument against michigan in 06 after they lost to the fuckeyes.

So is the heisman the qb for the best team or the qb with the best numbers? The heisman is subjective. You can't just use numbers to make an argument for anybody. I really don't give a shit to be honest. There is no way to get it right every year. I brought up colt brennan because he put up crazy numbers against shit defenses, much like the big 12 qb's are doing this year. Yes, the big 12 defenses are as bad, if not worse, as the WAC defenses.

J Beanie said...

And last year Tebow had over 20 td's rushing and 20 passing. I'm not saying he isn't great, or doesn't deserve the Heisman. I'm just saying voters won't vote for him because he hasn't have the same passing numbers of the three Big 12 quarterbacks and for whatever reason Florida has seem to go under the radar this year.

Anonymous said...

Nobody wants to watch Boise in a BCS bowl. The Buckeyes are a MUCH bigger draw, even if it is people tuning in to see them get killed. OSU/Texas would be a huge ratings hit.

-Damman

GMoney said...

That's a lot of arrogance on display there, D. NO ONE other than OSU fans want to see them play at all.

How soon you forget that Boise gave us the greatest game in our lifetimes 2 short years ago. It is a bigtime program and they are more than capable of getting an at-large spot over a 2 loss underachiever that had as many quality wins as the Broncos did.

Anonymous said...

Boise beating OU was an aberration. I remember Hawaii/Georgia last year and how exciting that was. OU/Boise was the exception to the rule of what usually is going to happen when a non BCS team plays a top BCS team.

I don't think I was being arrogant. People will tune in even if they hate the Buckeyes because they love seeing them lose.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

I would rather see a team that deserves to be in the bowl, then a team who gets in because of money. Osu will get in because of money and thats the only reason. Boise State deserves their chance again.

Glick

Tony B. said...

Let me speak for Northern California in saying no one out here wants to see Ohio State in a BCS bowl. I agree with Glick, Boise State does deserve another chance.

GMoney said...

Wow, look at Glick coming in with his "good point" hammer.

If memory serves, the little guy is 2-1 in BCS bowls. Maybe Hawaii was the abherration???

AdamAnt said...

Really Boise's D is better than Ohio State's now? Are they really going to Stop Texas ever? ohio state may have two losses but who are they to, two teams going to the Rose Bowl, one of which may have one of the best defenses ever. Granted Penn State is going to get rolled. As an OSU fan I'd rather see them in the Capital One against say Georgia than in the BCS. But they will end up in the Fiesta, which will leave only one turd in the BCS, The Big East-Acc game