Friday, December 05, 2008

It's Go Time For The Wet Bandits


As you are all well aware, there is NOTHING really interesting going on in the sporting world. So, on this mail-in Friday, I'm going to talk about the G$FL Playoffs which start this week. Deal with it.

You may recall me bitching about fantasy football three weeks ago. Well, things change. The Wet Bandits (Home Alone reference, bitches) managed to win out and locked up the 5 seed in my league. I've got a tall order this weekend in my wild card matchup against hated commenter, G-Saul. Remember him? He was the asshole that started the whole "overrated" fiasco during guest post week in late August.

His lineup consists of:
Hairy Mole Brees
Andre Johnson, Lance Moore, and Roddy White
Thomas Jones, Addai, and Sammy Morris
Cooley, Elam, and the Titans D

How he didn't win the regular season title with that lineup proves how mediocre of an owner he truly is. OK, now I want some advice from you guys so I can advance to the next round and face the 1 seed..."Bills Defense".

I'm starting Aaron Rodgers at home against the Texans.
My stable of running backs has carried me all season (Portis, Forte, and Chris Johnson) and will remain in the fold.
Now please try to not laugh while I list my horseshit WR's (I have to start 3 of these 6 assholes and this is where your input is valued):
Antonio Bryant (@ CAR) - auto-start because he's playing on Monday
Braylon (@ TEN) - Dorsey + his awfulness + good defense
Ocho Cinco (@ IND)
Steve Breaston (STL)
Anthony Gonzalez (CIN)
Kevin "Kurgis" Curtis (@NYG)

And then at TE I need to choose between BIIIIIIG John Carlson and Dustin Keller. I'm set with Bironas and the Giants D. Right now, I'm leaning toward Bryant, Breaston, Ocho Cinco, and Keller but I'm listening if anyone feels differently. Dut, since you didn't make the postseason, there's room on my bandwagon.

So PLEASE, I beg you, give me some help as far as who I can start at WR and TE that can get me a win!!! Obviously, I'm an underdog here, but I've been resilient all season long and expect a victory. Thank you for your help and putting up with a post featuring nothing but me talking about my mediocre fantasy football team. I'll be back on Monday. If you made it this far, I'll reward you with Marisa Miller. I think that's fair. Anyone else in the mood for an i-pod?

16 comments:

rstiles said...

I have an Ipod just like that...I will never look at it the same after seeing that photo

Upstate Underdog said...

Fuck OchoCinco, I'd start Gonzalez over him at WR.

Mr. Ace said...

You have to start Breaston. The Cardinals are going to beat the Rams by 30 and Breaston will get in the end zone at least once. Curtis is a tough matchup but I think the eagles will be able to score. Ocho Cinco is your next best option. Favre loves Keller so you have to go with him.

I think you are fucked for what its worth. I would be shocked if Portis got you more than 5 points. But good luck...Not really. I look forward to reading a post next week about how you either got fucked overor got destroyed.

GMoney said...

I would love to sit Portis but my only other RB is McFadden who went for a robust zero yards last night.

UU, I guess my thinking is that the Bengals will be down and throwing while that mutant asshole is the 4th option on the Colts pass offense.

Curtis has scored one touchdown this year. He and Braylon will be 69'ing on my bench.

Dustin said...

Mr ace- I knew you would say breaston you fucking homer!!!

G$- I have a serious dilemma on who to pull for here... My team was better than yours, but I needed to win 1 out of 5 to make the playoffs and I lost them all!! I should root for you because your opponent fucked me on Monday night with the brees to Moore combo.. And I'm still bitter. However, I will be living there in 3 weeks...

I hate you both, but I would definately start gonzo this week. Last week two Baltimore receivers had monster games against those suckbags. The problem is who to start him over because they're all about the same.

Anonymous said...

Wow Graig...I couldn't even read the post after I saw your team name. You and W have more in common that I ever could have imagined. That is his fantasy football team name as well.

Rosenberg

GMoney said...

Rosenberg, please tell me that you're joking. And please don't use my first name.

Anonymous said...

G$, I am not joking and I didn't even know that was your first name. I thought that was a big joke. What kind of name is that?

Rosenberg

Anonymous said...

G$, you failed to tell everyone that you could have had Lance Moore on your team about 5 weeks ago, but you were unwilling to give up Braylon Edwards to get him. Moore will inevitably score the TD that allows me to beat you while Braylon sits on your bench!!

-GSaul

GMoney said...

They don't need to know that, G-Saul. You know who won't score this weekend? The same asshole who has went ten weeks this year without touchdowns...Mr. 5 Hour Energy.

Rosenberg, it's an awesome one.

Mr. Ace said...

Dut, You are a jackass and I hate your face.

Wow G$, somebody drops your government name and then you get ripped on for that name... on your own blog. You need to make an example of this blasphemer so others don't step out of line.

GMoney said...

Ace, I've met the offender before. I can't punish him worse than God already has. And, once again, I do not like to be called by my slave name on this blog!

Allan Stokke said...

For some reason I thought your nam was Trin'dell

Anonymous said...

I have the same situation as you, playing GSaul in the first round. If you are still looking at these, I have a choice to make myself: McNab or Cassel!?

Which one is going to show up and play this weekend?

Let me know if anyone is still reading the comments.

Jon Saul

GMoney said...

Jon, I am and I would start Cassel. The Seahawks are terrible and after NE got embarrassed last weekend, they will be making a statement. Don't fall for cocktease McNabb...the guy still blows.

Let's band together and send your brother home early in both leagues!

Anonymous said...

What is this?! I thought there were no alliances in fantasy football. You both are going down.

-GSaul