Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Antonio Bryant = Pimp

Fuck. Yes. Trailing by 6 points going into the Monday Nighter, my final prayer was Mr. Antonio Bryant. You may remember him as the guy that the Browns and 49ers and other shit teams didn't want. But here is, starting for The Wet Bandits in the G$FL Playoffs.

I needed either a touchdown or 150 yards. The yardage was obviously going to be more difficult so I was praying for him to score. I nearly had a stroke when he was marked down at the 2 in the 2nd quarter. He should have fucking scored. I don't know why he dove. I was fully prepared to write an 8,000 word death threat to him here today.

But my boy pulled through. Antonio Bryant is, for a week at least, my favorite player in the NFL. He's got G$'s back. G$ is moving on dammit. YES WE CAN!!!

Next week: #5 The Wet Bandits vs. #1 Bills Defense (not familiar with his roster other than d-bag Romo)...we will win again. The march to the title will not be stopped by a team run by Dick Jauron's son.


Upstate Underdog said...

I had Bryant on my bench and lost because of it, that reason and Tampa missing an extra point last night. I fucking hate fantasy football.

GMoney said...

Ouch, UU.

Remembering my rule that if you are playing on Monday Night, you start for me, look who's back in the starting lineup...Mr. 5 Hour Energy, BRAYLON EDWARDS!!!

Also, in the not nearly as illustrious JFL opening round playoffs, as the 5 seed I drew the flamboyant Wig Master in the first round. You are going to lose, my friend.

Anonymous said...

Got a question for you and your fantasy greatness.lol Who the fuck should i start at quarterback.
Matt schaub or Matt Ryan. Can someone give some advice. If i win this week, I AM PLAYING FOR A $1400 FIRST PRIZE.


GMoney said...

I don't know who Ryan is playing but Schaub plays the Titans...you play Ryan.

Mr. Ace said...

Ryan play Tampa.

Did anybody see Steve Young get hit in the face with a plastic cup during the post game last night. I saw it on deadspin and it makes me laugh. Emmitt Smith looks like he is going to kill somebody.

Dustin said...

Bryant wasn't good enough to play for the browns. Who would want players that catch the ball on a consistent basis?

Anonymous said...

heck of a game by Bryant last night. Too bad Caralina ran wild on the bucs. that was impressive.

mcjunken said...

Being new to this blog, I initially thought that "The Wet Bandits" was a reference to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I see now (I think) that it's actually the name of your fantasy team (presumably also a Home Alone reference). It's a pretty good nickname for the Bucs, though, since pirates are pretty much just wet bandits.