Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Proof That The American League Sucks


We all know that the American League is superior to the senior circuit in pretty much every facet of baseball. Yes, the Phillies won the World Series but, let's be honest, had they played in the AL East, they don't make the playoffs. But something has dawned on me this week and that is that the AL is quietly turning into a shitty product. And all that you have to do is look at the award winners.

The Rays represented them in the World Series. It was a great story and I'm not going to argue that. But come on, they were a total fucking fluke and we all know it. They'll be back to their old selves next year when everyone comes down off of cloud nine (see: 2008 Cleveland Indians).

Joe Maddon was the manager of the year. Again, that was very deserved (how Plain Dealer writer, Terry Pluto, voted for Ron Gardenhire, I have no idea). But the guy looks like an old lesbian. We get it already, you're all philosophical and want to look like Drew Carey.

Cliff Lee won the Cy Young. He had a great season but he isn't an ace and we all know it. For God's sake, he was pitching in AAA in 2007. I'm not going to say that this was definitely a fluke season, but I'm 95% sure that he's a .500 pitcher next season. Let's see how he does when there is actually some pressure on him because this year he was pitching in front of 15,000 people every night. And remember, nobody named Cliff has ever been good at anything and that includes Uncle Cliffy Robinson.

Dustin Pedroia won the MVP. How sad is it that this little midget fuck won the AL most valuable player award. It disgusts me. But when you look at who else was up there, there was NO ONE that deserved it. Youkilis should receive two bullets in his medullah oblongata. Justin Morneau shouldn't even own one MVP trophy let alone two. Joe Mauer? Eh. I really think that they should have just suspended the award this season. Carry it over, like in a Skins game. Whoever wins the MVP in the AL next year, gets two awards. How great of an idea is that. It's better than giving it to a 4 foot tall turd.

I really should be the commissioner of baseball. I don't even look half as dead as Bud Selig. Thank God that the Yankees are going to do everything in their power (and their wallets) to make this league great again.

11 comments:

Upstate Underdog said...

Roy Halladay got fucked. He should have won the Cy Young. He had to pitch in the AL East, not the shitty AL Central

Anonymous said...

The Rays aren't going anywhere. Their stud pitching is young and so are Longoria, Crawford and Upton.

--Drew

GMoney said...

They said the same thing about the Indians last year, Drew. Keep in mind, every arm in the bullpen had a career year last year.

Anonymous said...

Cliff Huxtable

Anonymous said...

You are comparing them to the Indians?

Who on the 2007 Indians was David Price?

Let's call Sizemore and Upton a wash. Everybody knew Pronk was going to blow in 2007. V-Mart was getting up there. Who are their young studs? Who was the Indians Carl Crawford? Most importantly to throw this argument away...who the fuck was their Evan Longoria? That kid has zero bust potential and is going to be competing for MVP's maybe as soon as next year.

Rays aren't going anywhere. They won't run away with it again, but they will be competing for the division.

--Drew

Jeff said...

Agreed with Drew. G$ is just mad that the hated red sox chalked another one up in the mvp column.

GMoney said...

Fausto was their David Price.

Obviously, they aren't player-for-player the same. But the flukiness is extremely similar. There is a HUGE difference when teams that normally have no expectations are now expected to win the division again the following year (see 2006 Tigers as well). I have a ton of history to back up this argument.

Tony B. said...

The AL MVP is obviously Madonna. She distracted A-Rod enough to where he dropped off in every statistical category besides scoring with a dried-up 80's pop icon. A-Rod was too busy writing love poetry to care about knocking in RBIs.

Dustin said...

G$- the Tigers won 87 games in 2007, and were in the race the entire season. I don't think that's a good comparison for your argument. They even had the best record in baseball at the all star break.

GMoney said...

Oh, arguing that you had a great HALF of a season, are you? Nice. That's the definition of loser talk.

mcjunken said...

What about Cliff Claven? I seem to remember that in one episode he racked up quite a few points on Jeopardy! before he bet it all and lost it in Final Jeopardy! (I believe he tried to use his postal worker's jacket to cover up his bet once he knew he got the answer wrong.)