Friday, November 07, 2008
It's Friday, it's been a long week, I've been up to late thinking about how great it is to have freedom and a country that cares about me again, and we all know that I'm going to mail-in this post anyway. So instead of talking about tits or the NBA, I want to go back to one of my old faithful topics: ripping on Ohio State football. It's been awhile since the Buckeyes have embarrassed themselves off the field(the Doug Worthington DUI arrest that he was never suspended for comes to mind). But that has changed now. Little used WR and KR, Ray Small, has been suspended for two games due to a violation of team rules. And his pops ain't too happy about that. So, Ken Small (pictured holding his son if they were white people) took a page out of Vince Young's mom's handbook and started yapping to the media.
But Ken Small, Ray's father, said yesterday it (suspension) is for two games, and the reason is because OSU said his son missed a class, which Ken denies. He said the coaching staff is singling out his son unnecessarily."We don't think he's getting a fair shake, and we don't know why," he said. "It seems they're trying to intentionally ruin his career."
I have two issues with this and they are not related at all:
1. Ken, your son pays nothing to go to a school of higher learning. It's free. He has to abide by three rules to keep that intact: go to class, don't get arrested, and play football. That's it. That is all that he has to do. As Mr. Ace will point out when he gets done cleaning himself up, it's not like football players have to do their homework anyway. Someone will always do it for them if they aren't willing to do it themselves (it's worked at Florida State for years!). Just put in the face time in the classroom, and you're good to go. As far as singling out young Roy, IF HE WAS WORTH A FUCK ON THE FIELD, THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN SWEPT UNDER THE RUG! Tressel will forget about DUI's that his starters get. He balances that out by punishing his shit players when they fuck up. He isn't being hard on your son, he's just doing what all coaches do: protecting the guys who help them win. Jesus, between Small and Justin Boren, is Ohio State actually trying to be the gayest bunch of pussies in the nation or what?
2. My biggest pet peeve for when I'm watching a college football game is when the announcer mentions something like "he's only thrown 6 interceptions in his career". You all probably don't even realize it anymore because it's said so often that it is just part of the lexicon of the sport. COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS NOT A CAREER!!! I can't stress this enough and it's a product of lazy journalism. Sports writing is a career. Getting up at noon, going to two classes, eating a 2,000 calorie lunch, practicing for 3 hours, eating a 3,000 calorie dinner, studying a little bit, and ending the night with a BJ is not a career. It should be, but it isn't. Stop it. Stop it now. But I guess you never know in this case. Ken Small says that Tressel is ruining his son's career...and that snake oil salesman has been rumored to pay people off in the past. Nope, I just can't allow it. College football is not a career path. I need a Xanex. I'm too worked up for a Friday.
So I guess I can sum this post up by saying: Ken Small sucks, Roy Small sucks, blogging is a career; not college football, and I hope that Ohio State loses to Northwestern tomorrow. Also, I accidentally purchased an extra copy of Drew Magary's (Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber) book, "Men With Balls". I'm thinking about giving it away (oral preferred over nothing though). Let me know if you're interested. How dumb does a person have to be to accidentally by two identical books. I'm still trying to figure that out.