Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Every once in awhile, we stray away from sports on this site. Today is one of those days. As I mentioned yesterday, I'm getting back into watching the syndicated Seinfeld episodes. I had gone a few years without watching the best sitcom of all time because I had grown tired of it. It happens to all of us at some point. But I'm back and realizing the greatness which is Seinfeld yet again. Today, I unleash my ten favorite episodes of all time. For the record, The Contest is my least favorite episode of all time. You can always tell a fake Seinfeld fan if they say that that is their favorite episode. It isn't funny at all. If you think that the episode is good, then you can stuff your sorry's in a sack, mister! My ten:
10. The Pool Guy - Ramon the pool guy is a pretty annoying character. But his friends at the gym always crack me up (You going to see Ramon?). This classic also features the brilliance of Newman in a one piece bathing suit doing a cannonball.
9. The Sniffing Accountant - Ah yes, Kramer, Newman, and Jerry on a stakeout. This show brought us the excellence of Dento-Tape, the knowledge that Tuesday has a feel, and the importance of exclamation points. I decided to put on...MY SWEATSHIRT!!!
8. The Bizarro Jerry - Elaine realizes that her friends her losers and it's time to switch it up. Kevin, Gene, Feldman, and Fargas the Fed Ex guy were a hilarious foil to our ill-tempered regulars.
7. The Face Painter - David Puddy is probably my favorite secondary character of the series. His burning love for the Devils was just perfect. Don't mess with the devil, buddy. We're #1, we beat anyvody! We're the Devils! The Devils! For the record, face painters should be shot on sight.
6. The Frogger - George's crowning achievement in his life was the high score on some random pizzeria's Frogger machine. He buys it but needs the help of Kramer's buddy, Slippery Pete, to get the arcade game back to his place. Hilarity ensued. We learned in this episode that an outlet is sometimes referred to as "holes".
5. The Chicken Roaster - Who knew that Kenny Rogers could be so evil? We all loved Kramer and Jerry switching apartments and, in turn, lives for the week. My favorite part was when Jerry caught on to the scheme and made Newman eat the broccoli. Newman doing a shot of mustard was fantastic.
4. The Wizard - The late, great Morty Seinfeld tries to instill Kramer as condo president. Needing to get the votes back in their favor, they buy some Willard Tip Calculators from Bob Sacamano, Sr. The greatest line in this show was a throw-away line when all the old people in the restaurant realize that the tip calculators are bogus and some random guy screams, "I'm ruined"! Kills me every time.
3. The Marine Biologist - This is, BY FAR, the best story ever told in the history of TV. The writer that crafted this episode should be named the King of TV. The golf ball being pulled out of the blowhole by George...priceless.
2. The Chinese Restaurant - OK, this is probably the most questionable inclusion on this list because no one that I know likes this episode, but I love it. It's also the only episode that Kramer is not in. Some of the big highlights from this to me are George wanting to fight the guy for the pay phone, George explaining how he chose pooping over sex, and obviously the whole "Cartwright" fiasco. To this day, if I ever see an Asian dude as a host in a restaurant (or an Asian dude in general), I immediately think of that awesome exchange. She say curse word, I hang up.
1. The Dealership - The best. Puddy as a car salesman looking for constant high fives. Kramer dragging some poor schlub around trying to get below the slash. George screaming at everyone in the dealership over Twix. It is the perfect episode. Moe, Sol, Lem--short name, big liar!
Jerry: I saw one once that could do sign language.
Puddy: Yeah, I saw that one. Uh... Koko.
Jerry: Yeah, Koko.
Puddy: Right, Koko. That chimp's alright--high five.
Well there you go. If you've got another one that you think I missed, let me know. And as I said in the open, if you even try to argue that The Contest is funny, I'm sending Brody over to your house with his baseball bat and you will not be happy with the results. Back tomorrow with one final post before December.