The Middle Finger: John Madden

Each sport has their own voice that you will always associate with it. In baseball, there is Vin Scully. Basketball, Marv Albert. College football, Keith Jackson and college hoops, Dickie V. It always seems that during every big game, their presence is felt in the broadcast. Well, the NFL obviously has their own signature sound and he also happens to be a video game magnate. But he's decided to sit this week out. Yes, he's getting up in age, but the man has a job to do. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

This week's Middle Finger goes to--BOOM!--John Madden.

Madden has decided to not make the cross-country bus drive to Tampa this upcoming week. NBC Sports president, Dick Ebersol, has given him the OK. After going from coast to coast last week, it's been agreed that another lengthy trip would best be left for Cris Collinsworth this week. I don't care if it is tough on his 72 year old body, this guy makes a ton of money to do something that any one of us would kill to do. Madden states that he would like to spend time with his family which is, of course, a load of crap.

I see through this facade. I do. Madden (by the way, how funny is that picture?) is bailing on the Seahawks and Bucs because he's selfish. He doesn't want to waste 3 days on the road for two boring teams. After all, he has to realize that none of the guys that he usually loves to verbally fellate are playing this Sunday night. There is no Favre, no Brady, no Manning boys, no Tomlinson, no Jones-Drew, and no Roethlisberger. He has not one player on either of those two rosters that he can salivate over for 3+ hours like a Thanksgiving Day turducken. It's quite clear to me. He's using "travel" as an excuse.

There are plenty of good players to love though, John. How can you not love the ageless Derrick Brooks, or Ronde Barber, or Grant Wistrom, or Charlie Frye! Just because none of your "boys" are in the game, doesn't mean you should just bail on your responsibilities. It just won't be the same hearing Collinsworth award the coveted "Horse-Trailer Player of the Game".

You know, maybe if Madden would actually suck it up and actually fly somewhere, this might not be an issue at all. But, no, he still trolls around the country in that dumbass Madden Cruiser which may or may not be driven by Vincent Price. Be a man and take a cross-country flight for heaven's sake.


My final point regarding why this is weak is that, after this week, there isn't even a Sunday Night Football game in week 8. Yeah, they are taking it off due to the World Series! So not only is he taking this week to work on his needlepoint or whatever 72 year old men do, he gets the following week off, too!

So enjoy your Middle Finger this week, Johnny Madden. Maybe this will help you realize that the job is more important than your comfort. Because whether people love you or hate you, you are still better than Cris freaking Collinsworth. The show must go on and, unfortunately, you decided to shirk your duty of diagramming someone's tailgate.