Monday, September 22, 2008

The Worst of Week 3 Vol. II

Interesting weekend to say the least in the NFL. You saw some teams make statements (Redskins!) and some other teams continue to show that they have no business being in the NFL (Chiefs!). And that is where I come in to play...reminding my readers of the worst performers of the weekend. You may be asking what this picture has to do with week 3 in the NFL? Well, it really doesn't but I wanted to share it anyway. You see, I think you get a nice cross-section of emotions here. On the left, one of my die-hard readers looks extremely proud of the photo-op. In the center, Dennis Haskins continues to embarrass himself publicly. And on the right, a young woman that wants to be as excited as the other two, but is smart and realizes just how pathetic the situation is. Since this picture took place in St. Louis, home of the worst NFL team possibly ever, now we tie it all in and can get the post started. Thanks, Mike, and I hope that next time you can meet former Saved By The Bell hall monitor, Milo. Or at least Ed Alonzo.

10. Europeans! - My hatred toward Phil Mickelson actually had me not really rooting for the Euros, but not really rooting against them either. The worst of the Europeans in the Ryder Cup was Sergio Gramatica far. That was some very compelling golf and I'm happy for our team. I'm almost 100% sure that Boo Weekley is celebrating the win by drinking out of a jug with "X X X" on it while feasting on squirrel.

9. Tyler Thigpen - The 5 worst words that a fanbase can hear our "Tyler Thigpen is our quarterback". At one point yesterday, he was 1-11, -1 yards, and 2 picks. The Chiefs are a fucking mess. Which state has the worst football teams: Missoura or Ohio??? Now THAT is a tough question.

8. Matt Schaub - I'm starting to get to the point where I think that Arthur Blank actually made the right decision by keeping Vick and trading this turd. He hasn't gotten better and launched 3 more picks yesterday. We want Rosenfels.

7. Bears Defense - 407 yards passing from Brian Griese? 407 yards passing from Brian Griese! We all know that the Bears offense is pretty crappy. When they get 24 points, you HAVE to win that game. One more time, 407 yards passing from Brian Griese.

6. Martin Gramatica - The Saints/Broncos game was extremely entertaining and I thought that the Saints did a great job of getting back into the game. And they had the win in their pocket, too, until the kicking rat shanked a chippy. I love watching him fail and this picture is giving me a boner. I haven't mentioned it yet, but the Redskins are awesome. We're already a game and a half up on the Saints, too.

5. Matt Millen (The HERM! Edwards Memorial Spot) - I think it's time now. When you lose to the Falcons, Packers at home, and 49ers, it's time to start cleaning house. Starting at the top is what needs to happen in Detroit. Millen has had more than enough chances and they aren't even competitive anymore. Drew/Wig Master, I would like to know your thoughts on the current situation with the Lions. They fucking suck. They aren't nearly as great as the Redskins.

4. The Colts Front Seven - Everybody knows what the Jags want to do. Everybody knows that Peyton isn't really Peyton this season. So when he gives you a lead with a minute to go, you better fucking hang on to it. Instead, the Colts did the old "let's give up 100 yards rushing to two RB's" tactic that has never worked. I said it before and I'll say it again: I don't like anything about the Colts this season. Yesterday is a perfect example regarding why...they are soft and can be pushed around.

3. The Steelers Offensive Line - This just in, QB's are much better when they are standing up. Giving up 9 sacks and only getting about 30-40 yards rushing is pathetic. The ONLY thing that will prevent the Steelers from winning the North is the o-line...they better figure it out before their stud QB gets killed. Oh yeah, I hate the Eagles, too. Fuck you, Brian Westbrook!

2. Derek Anderson - Now, he is not entirely to blame for the Browns being horrible, but he's near the top. The coaching is horrendous, the o-line is a sieve, the defense is a disgrace, and Braylon Edwards is playing like a bitch. But Anderson sucked some huge goat balls yesterday. That was just painful. Enjoy your 4 win season, Browns fans, and I will enjoy watching you get beat by 20 points in DC in a few weeks.

1. Bill Belichick - Ummm, Bill, the Dolphins don't have a passing game. They have one playmaker on offense. You don't even need to cover their WR's and can stack the box all game. Instead, 5 touchdowns out of Ronnie Brown was a much better option to you. Awful, just awful. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving character though. It's unfortunate that the Bills are a million times better than the Pats this year. I find it very funny that Belichick isn't nearly the coach that his ego thinks he is without Tom Brady. Fuck him, I hope they lose out.

There you have it--another week, another group of suckbags called out. It's a big week though. Why, you ask? IT'S REDSKINS/COWBOYS WEEK! I hate those fuckers so much. I can't for Wade Phillips to gag on our Jim Zorn Boner. The Redskins are a fantastic team if I didn't make that clear earlier. I expect a 2 touchdown win by us in Little Mexico on Sunday. Hail to the Redskins. Hail to the Chimp.


GMoney said...

Beanie's not going to be around this week so the role of resident "Comments Douche" is open to anyone that wants it.

Tony B. said...

The Bears have absolutely choked away a perfect opportunity to be 3-0 (yes, I'm still pissed about last week). Give up 400+ yards to a guy you traded away during the offseason while Kyle Orton is throwing pick 6s. Unreal.

It makes me realize how bad the Colts actually are for losing to the Bears.

Mr. Ace said...

The skins have been a surprise...but they will be exposed in big D this weekend. So ya, suck it.

Anonymous said...

What about the Raiders? Giving up 17 in the final minutes, which is ultimately going to result in the firing of your coach three weeks in? I think that should be at the top of the list.


Anonymous said...

G Funk, Millen is a plague. There is certainly no reason this man should still be employed. His reign is unmatched in the NFL for its complete lack of success. His draft record alone makes others around the league giggle. It is frustrating to be a fan and watch, as you point out, the execs blow it and never own up to the mistakes. Beyond the need for an immediate Millen firing, Kitna, the resident pastor, just does not appear to be any sort of a leader. No running game to compliment that, and it just snow balls from there. I would gladly like to see Millen out, and see where things go.

--the Wig Master

GMoney said...

Burgei, I gave the Raiders some credit just for playing a team close.

I love Redskins/Cowboys week...

Tony B. said...

I watched the Raiders game, and it wasn't all that terrible. The Raiders overachieved for three quarters, then folded up like they were supposed to initially. Kiffin's been on the chopping block since the offseason. He's probably getting fired right now- and the only thing that would've stopped it is the Raiders going undefeated the rest of the way (or the death of Al Davis.)

Mr. Ace said...

No mention of the Rams? They have scored the 2nd fewest points, the Browns have the fewest!!!haha, and they have given up the most points. I think that is the definition of the worst team.

GMoney said...

Honestly, it gets old writing about the Rams every week.

Anonymous said...

You think it's bad writing about the Rams everyday. Feel fortunate that you don't have to turn on the radio or open the newspaper to this constant garbage. It's the same shit everyday. Joe Ram Fan calls in bitching, saying "Can you believe Steven Jackson and the rest of the team on the field after the game with big smiles on their faces!?! It's like they don't even care they just got blown out!" Well sir it's cause they don't care, especially Jackson who extended his contract. This team is a bunch of underachievers past their prime. I give the players props for being able to laugh at their terrible efforts! So Joe Ram, you shouldn't be outraged, you should embrace it. A team this bad only comes around once in a great while!


GMoney said...

They need Dennis Haskins to coach them. Shoot your hopes and dreams!!!

Anonymous said...

The Browns could use AC Slater at QB. He is by far a better #3 than Anderson.