Monday, September 22, 2008
Interesting weekend to say the least in the NFL. You saw some teams make statements (Redskins!) and some other teams continue to show that they have no business being in the NFL (Chiefs!). And that is where I come in to play...reminding my readers of the worst performers of the weekend. You may be asking what this picture has to do with week 3 in the NFL? Well, it really doesn't but I wanted to share it anyway. You see, I think you get a nice cross-section of emotions here. On the left, one of my die-hard readers looks extremely proud of the photo-op. In the center, Dennis Haskins continues to embarrass himself publicly. And on the right, a young woman that wants to be as excited as the other two, but is smart and realizes just how pathetic the situation is. Since this picture took place in St. Louis, home of the worst NFL team possibly ever, now we tie it all in and can get the post started. Thanks, Mike, and I hope that next time you can meet former Saved By The Bell hall monitor, Milo. Or at least Ed Alonzo.
10. Europeans! - My hatred toward Phil Mickelson actually had me not really rooting for the Euros, but not really rooting against them either. The worst of the Europeans in the Ryder Cup was Sergio Gramatica Garcia...by far. That was some very compelling golf and I'm happy for our team. I'm almost 100% sure that Boo Weekley is celebrating the win by drinking out of a jug with "X X X" on it while feasting on squirrel.
9. Tyler Thigpen - The 5 worst words that a fanbase can hear our "Tyler Thigpen is our quarterback". At one point yesterday, he was 1-11, -1 yards, and 2 picks. The Chiefs are a fucking mess. Which state has the worst football teams: Missoura or Ohio??? Now THAT is a tough question.
8. Matt Schaub - I'm starting to get to the point where I think that Arthur Blank actually made the right decision by keeping Vick and trading this turd. He hasn't gotten better and launched 3 more picks yesterday. We want Rosenfels.
7. Bears Defense - 407 yards passing from Brian Griese? 407 yards passing from Brian Griese! We all know that the Bears offense is pretty crappy. When they get 24 points, you HAVE to win that game. One more time, 407 yards passing from Brian Griese.
6. Martin Gramatica - The Saints/Broncos game was extremely entertaining and I thought that the Saints did a great job of getting back into the game. And they had the win in their pocket, too, until the kicking rat shanked a chippy. I love watching him fail and this picture is giving me a boner. I haven't mentioned it yet, but the Redskins are awesome. We're already a game and a half up on the Saints, too.
5. Matt Millen (The HERM! Edwards Memorial Spot) - I think it's time now. When you lose to the Falcons, Packers at home, and 49ers, it's time to start cleaning house. Starting at the top is what needs to happen in Detroit. Millen has had more than enough chances and they aren't even competitive anymore. Drew/Wig Master, I would like to know your thoughts on the current situation with the Lions. They fucking suck. They aren't nearly as great as the Redskins.
4. The Colts Front Seven - Everybody knows what the Jags want to do. Everybody knows that Peyton isn't really Peyton this season. So when he gives you a lead with a minute to go, you better fucking hang on to it. Instead, the Colts did the old "let's give up 100 yards rushing to two RB's" tactic that has never worked. I said it before and I'll say it again: I don't like anything about the Colts this season. Yesterday is a perfect example regarding why...they are soft and can be pushed around.
3. The Steelers Offensive Line - This just in, QB's are much better when they are standing up. Giving up 9 sacks and only getting about 30-40 yards rushing is pathetic. The ONLY thing that will prevent the Steelers from winning the North is the o-line...they better figure it out before their stud QB gets killed. Oh yeah, I hate the Eagles, too. Fuck you, Brian Westbrook!
2. Derek Anderson - Now, he is not entirely to blame for the Browns being horrible, but he's near the top. The coaching is horrendous, the o-line is a sieve, the defense is a disgrace, and Braylon Edwards is playing like a bitch. But Anderson sucked some huge goat balls yesterday. That was just painful. Enjoy your 4 win season, Browns fans, and I will enjoy watching you get beat by 20 points in DC in a few weeks.
1. Bill Belichick - Ummm, Bill, the Dolphins don't have a passing game. They have one playmaker on offense. You don't even need to cover their WR's and can stack the box all game. Instead, 5 touchdowns out of Ronnie Brown was a much better option to you. Awful, just awful. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving character though. It's unfortunate that the Bills are a million times better than the Pats this year. I find it very funny that Belichick isn't nearly the coach that his ego thinks he is without Tom Brady. Fuck him, I hope they lose out.
There you have it--another week, another group of suckbags called out. It's a big week though. Why, you ask? IT'S REDSKINS/COWBOYS WEEK! I hate those fuckers so much. I can't for Wade Phillips to gag on our Jim Zorn Boner. The Redskins are a fantastic team if I didn't make that clear earlier. I expect a 2 touchdown win by us in Little Mexico on Sunday. Hail to the Redskins. Hail to the Chimp.