Thursday, September 18, 2008

Why College Football Sucks


You read that right. Get ready to get pissed off. Today I'm unleashing all my anger at everyone's favorite pastime, college football. I was going to do this as a week-long, 5 part symposium, but then I figured "what the hell", let's anger up everyone's blood in one day; a no-holds-barred post. Why not just give my faithful one insanely long rant that I've been sitting on for awhile now?

Let me start by saying that I like college football. I don't love it like I do with the NFL, but I like it. It's pretty cool to be on campus (OSU) on the day of a big game just because you can feel the intensity in the air. Of course, it's even better when the Buckeyes lose. But anyway, I know that most of you are already thinking that I don't love college football because my alma mater isn't big time. You may be on to something there, but I disagree. I just think that it is an inferior brand of football. Allow me to explain my lack of infatuation toward the sport of college football:

1. There's no fantasy football. - Ah yes, it's technically not that important to the enjoyment of the game, but it helps out a helluva lot. I can tell you one thing, it's much easier for me to watch two crappy NFL teams play than it is to watch a mid-week Pitt/Rutgers game. Why? Because the NFL provides me with a vested interest to care about the meaningless games. Two 3-9 teams could be playing and I'm glued to the TV because I know that this is going to be the week that Carson Palmer actually does something right and I get fisted out of a fantasy win. College football doesn't have that charm. I am actually in a CF fantasy league and I don't even know who 80% of the guys on my team even play for. And there is the rub...in the NFL, if your team is having a terrible season, at least you have your fantasy teams to fall back on. In college football, if your team sucks...well, where do you go? You could get blackout drunk but when you wake up in the morning, your team still sucks and you're down 80 bucks.

2. Do we really know who the best team is at the end of the year? - I've argued before that I like the BCS. No, not because of what it stands for and how it is executed, but because it grants you plenty of hours of bar room debates. And isn't that what makes being a sports fan so great anyway? Who is the best team? Could we beat them? Are we better than them? We deserve to be there over them. I love it. But I'm not naive. The system is highly flawed. In pro football, the team that is standing at the end (except for last year) is always the best team in the sport. We don't know that at all when the BCS title game is over. It seems like every year different sets of fans are crying that they got screwed and were the best team in the nation. You don't get that whiny, pithy crap from NFL fanbases. The NFL just gives you a bunch of embarrassed Patriots fans running back to their cardboard boxes with their tales between their legs. Do I think that their should be a playoff? Eventually, but it isn't going to happen anytime soon so get over it. And get ready for another winter of not truly knowing who the best team in the nation is. You can take solace in watching the Super Bowl unfold and know that you are actually seeing a true champion.


3. The officiating is ridiculously awful. - Can someone please explain to me why each conference has their own officials? Why can't their be just one group that governs over all of the referees and assigns them to different sites each week (you know, like a Union)? Are you good? Go to the SEC game of the week. Do you suck? You're on MAC and Sun Belt duty for the rest of the year until you can go three seconds without making a terrible call. I mean, seriously, in non-conference matchups, the home team usually gets to have their own conference's officials do the game. How is that fair at all? The visitor's are at a disadvantage before the game even starts! And don't even get me started about the double standards either. Just look at the BS ending of the BYU/Washington game a few weeks back; 15 yards for flinging the ball in the air after scoring on the last play of the game? I think I've seen Chad Johnson give himself oral sex after a TD in the NFL and he wasn't even penalized. Obviously, the Hochuli saga has sullied the NFL this week but other than that, when was the last time that there was any real issue with officials in the pros? Hell, in the Big Ten alone, Stephen "Art Shell Ref" Pamon owed casinos a small fortune and was rumored to be fixing games yet it took the league until this past offseason to fire him. Well done.

4. The finances are completely fucked. - In what was probably one of my best posts ever; a few months back I said that if you root for a big time football factory school, you are not allowed to complain about the Yankees and/or the need for baseball to have a salary cap. They are the same. The BCS conferences have all the money and the resources in the world which keeps the little guy down just like the Yankees and Red Sox and Mets and Cubs do in baseball. So stop being a hypocrite. And there you have another problem...only about 10-12 teams out of 119 have a real shot at winning it all every year. And you know the names of the programs, too, beacuse it's the same damn teams every season. In the NFL, each year every fanbase has hope. Because it's happened before and they think it can happen to them this year. That's the best part about parity. If you had an injury-riddled season the year before, who cares, your luck could change this year. Unless you are a fan of the Lions or Raiders or Chiefs or Bengals or Rams...your life just sucks. I could argue that, with the right breaks that are needed for a run anyway, 12-18 of the 32 NFL teams have a chance to play in the Super Bowl. I like those odds as a fan of a team that straddles that line every year.


5. Televised games are longer than JFK - I appreciate the new rules that start the clock once the ball is spotted, but, my God, the games still take forever. NFL games take 3 hours...period. The college game can last anywhere between 3 hours and the amount of time it takes Mark Mangino to get out of bed each morning. The spread offense has revolutionized the sport but it has also added so much unnecessary length to the games. Incomplete passes suck. College QB's usually suck. College WR's tend to drop passes. Throwing the ball 40-45 times per game in the spread with these three variables sucks. Honestly, I don't have an answer for how the NCAA can change this and help me become less bored, but I would welcome any assistance. I could do without the 4 minute commercials and 3 hour halftime shows, too. Why do you need 20-25 minutes for halftime anyway??? The bands are fucking terrible and just play the same songs. Ooooh, what an amazing rendition of Jesus Christ Superstar! I hope they play it better next week at halftime! You don't go to the games to hear the halftime show, JUST PLAY THE FUCKING FIGHT SONG! But I digress and I'm starting to ramble.

So there you have it. My Fave Five reasons why college football sucks. Don't get me wrong, there are many more things that piss me off about the sport, but these 5 stand out at the moment. This is where it gets tricky because 90% of my readers fall in the other category of loving college/liking pro football. So let me have it. Tell me that I'm being stupid. You're going to be wrong, but like I said on Monday, this blog is now 100% a dictatorship. If you disagree with me, get ready to meet the KGB.

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

Worst post ever.

College football is fucking awesome.

You also of course didn't even mention that college football is a year round event if you follow recruiting. Following recruiting is like it's own game within the game of college football.

G$, this wasn't your finest work by any means.

--Drew

J Beanie said...

Your points are true. But that isn't enough to ruin college football. The sport is too entertaining and too much fun for anything to bring it down. I think you are stretching here. Maybe you don't appreciate college football enough b/c you care too much about the MAC.

This post is like guy who just had a threesome with the two smokin hot girls but didn't enjoy himself because he didn't like their pink panties. Don't be so picking and enjoy what you got.

GMoney said...

Following recruiting is for h-mos. I'm sorry, it is. Drew, is it still "awesome" now that your team is basically playing for nothing?

Beanie, I didn't say that it ruined the sport. It's OK, but it isn't as great as the NFL.

Tony B. said...

I 100% agree with you G$. I'm in the same boat (and I also went to a smaller football school - coincidence?)

I hate on Saturdays how CF log jams the ESPNews bottom line with millions of scores from teams I don't care about/didn't even know exist.

Every sport is "year round" if you want it to be. NFL Live is on during the offseason, and the Draft is similar to high school recruiting except you can actually watch the combine instead of read about some kid from somewhere who's supposed to be great.

Anonymous said...

Following recruiting isn't for homos...it's for people that are actually competing for great players...not like what your pathetic MAC school does.

Playing for "nothing", would that mean you do that every year? Yes, it still is awesome. And there is plenty left to play for...no team has ever won three outright big ten titles in a row...no OSU team has ever beaten Michigan five times in a row....Terrelle "The Truth" Pryor is going to start this weekend.

Also...there are college football fantasy sites. That was dumb.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I'm IN a college fantasy league. I believe I mentioned that, illiterate OSU alum. But you don't any of the players and it's still in the early stages of development.

You are playing for nothing and you know it. Your Seniors that came back to win a title know it, too.

You complaining about my taste in football teams can also be thrown right back at you. You prefer college football because you are a retarded Lions fan!

Tony, I knew there was a reason that I'm a fan of your work.

Marcus said...

Here are a few reasons I think CFB is better than NFL (not that I dislike the NFL).

1. There will never be a time when my Auburn Tigers pack up and move to Tennessee and change their name to the Titans.

2. I can develop a total, unadulterated man-crush on my team's star player without the worry that next year he'll be playing for my most hated rival.

3. I actually spent 4+ years of my life at the university associated with my favorite team, so I have a vested interest in their success.

4. Upsets. The NFL will never be able to produce the kind of pure Schadenfreude of watching a #5 ranked Michigan team lose to a FCS team. Watching your hated rival lose to Louisiana Monroe is pretty awesome too.

5. Every game is a playoff game. Well, maybe not every single one, but lose to the wrong team at the wrong time and your chances of going to the MNC game are pretty much shot. You'll never see a CFB team sit their starters because they have clinched a playoff spot.

Anonymous said...

You hit it on the head...atmosphere. What else compares to campuses nationwide running rampant with drunkards young and old on any given Saturday all for the love of their alma mater?

Granted, I am biased because I did not grow up a big NFL fan and it would be different had I lived in an NFL city all my life. Without having a vested interest in a crappy fantasy team each year, my NFL viewing would go down.

And even though OSU embarrassed themselves again this year, I still look forward to Saturdays because there is always a game with national championship implications, and you don't have to watch just to hope for 2 fantasy pts out of Hawaii's tight end.


Rex

Anonymous said...

Rex and Marcus nailed it.

Let's just face it. Unlike the NFL where by some illogical reason in your own brain, you were able to choose the Washington Redskins to be the team you follow, even though you grew up in Napoleon, OH....You can't do that with college because you are stuck rooting for Miami of Ohio. This blog post was just rooted out of your jealousy for people that follow schools with tradition, big time players and big time games.

Washington D.C. is about 500 miles from Napoleon....Knoxville, TN is a little under that. Just become a Vols fan and join the fun world that is college football.

--Drew

Tony B. said...

Don't kid yourself, college fans can be just as fickle as NFL fans. There are tons of fans of OSU, USC, or any other big name school that did not go to those schools, but continue to root them on passionately. I know more than a few people who are Cal or Stanford fans who didn't go to either school.

In fact, I've been a Bears/Cubs/Bulls fan my entire life, but lived in Chicago/Ohio/Georgia/California. It clearly depends on what kind of fan you are that makes your loyalty- not NFL vs. CF.

Boyd said...

Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better! I make the hair silky and smooth. Stop looking at me, Swan!

Both are awesome. I wrote this about College being better:

http://thoughtsfromthejockstrap.blogspot.com/2008/07/nfl-vs-college-football.html

I like both nearly equally, however. Either way, good article. It was funny and well written.

GMoney said...

None of you are addressing my arguments. I DID mention that a football Saturday is pretty cool, but no one has yet to defend the reasons why I don't love college football.

You don't get a true champion.
The officials are awful.
The finances are fucked.

Defend that. Tell me that I'm wrong. Even the most ardent fan can't defend that.

Marcus said...

Okay:

The refs suck? Uh, the NFL refs aren't exactly perfect either. I don't recall a CFB ref ever getting the friggin coin toss wrong! On a related topic, how about the instant replay? In CFB EVERY play is reviewed. It rarely stops the game and allows for blatantly missed calls to be corrected without a team risking losing a timeout.

No clear champion? So you're telling me that the friggin New York Giants were the best team last year, despite losing 5 games, two of which were to the Dallas Cowboys? They went 1-2 against the Boys, but because the "1" was in a playoff game, that makes them better? How is that any different than LSU losing two games but then turning it on for the one game that mattered at the end of the year?

The money is fucked? Well, yes and no. You're looking at CFB as a national entity but really it's just a conglomeration of stand-alone conferences that have come to some agreements in order to increase all of their revenue. That's the way it started with certain conferences agreeing to bowl contracts and then agreeing to play each other and it has just snowballed from there. Within the conferences, the revenue sharing is pretty fair.

GMoney said...

Marcus, re-read the post, please.

Other than the coin toss which happened almost a decade ago and Hochuli, there isn't much that gets by these guys. And they don't give the benefit of the doubt to the home team/home conference as college refs do.

I also said that other than last year, the Super Bowl champion is always the best team in the league. Even the 2006 Steelers were the best team.

Just because you don't like what I say doesn't mean that I'm wrong. In fact, I'm never wrong. You're all wrong!

Marcus said...

According to this: (yes I will use a blog as a reference, why not)

http://refchat.blogspot.com/2008/01/nfl-2007-referee-statistics-including.html

an average of 53% of penalties called were against the visiting team. Obviously there are any number of factors that could influence that, such as crowd noise, but it does seem to imply that the refs might err on the side of not pissing off 60,000 drunk fans.

Also the BYU/Washington call; those were PAC-10 refs. Washington is in the PAC-10 right? So how is it some sort of conspiracy when a Pac-10 official penalizes a PAC-10 team and sort of costs them the game versus a Mountain West team? I don't see the logic there.

In the end, the main reason I'm a CFB fan more so than an NFL fan (which I also am) comes down to a comment by George Carlin:

(to paraphrase... poorly)

You think you're a fan of a team, but teams consist of players. If a player from your team goes to another team and then comes on your field in a different jersey, you will boo him and cheer for the unknown player wearing your team's jersey. You're not cheering for the player, you're cheering for a jersey.

As I said earlier, it's very rare for a player in CFB to jump ship from one team to another in the same conference.

Mr. Ace said...

For one, I don't think that going to the school has anything to do with fan loyalty. Only about 15% of the people in this country have ever went to college, this doesn't mean they are the only die-hard college football fans. I have been a Michigan fan all my life but never went there.... Let's say I did go there, Does that mean that even though I rooted for Michigan since I was 7, I only count as a "true fan" from the time I enrolled....stupid.

Secondly, refs suck. Period. Obviously college refs are going to be worse because the pool of refs is so diluted... but is that really a top five point to why the NFL is better? doubtful. Just watching the MNF game with the eagles I can name off 5 missed calls, mostly cuz I am still bitter. But Westbrook got his head turned around twice by a facemask and it wasn't called... these could or couldn't be game deciding mishaps.

Also, if you are from NW Ohio don't try to argue proximity if you are an OSU fan... You are closer to Ann Arbor and South Bend morons.

I think I like both of them evenly. It is like asking a guy which testicle he likes better...uh, I will take them both.

What I do like more about the NFL is the fact that you can win the super bowl with 9 wins. Philly finished 8-8 last year and had a shot at the playoffs until the end. They were hot at the end of the year, there is no telling what could have happened. OSU doesn't have that luxury....fags.

Mr. Ace said...

This is worse than arguing about being Ove***ted.

GMoney said...

The only problem is, Mr. Ace, is that I'm defending MY honor here against someone I've never met. Let me crush the refereeing debate right now...

Last week, Wisconsin offered to bring Big Ten refs out to Fresno in exchange for Fresno being able to bring their refs to Madison next season. Pat Hill turned them down because the game was huge for the program's sake and he wanted any advantage that he could get. If you watched the game, the refs were OBVIOUSLY favoring the home team in replay and on the field. It's just what Pat Hill wanted.

Do you see yet! If an NFL ref misses a call, it's human error/general incompetence. College officiating is crooked and everyone knows it and ACCEPTS it.

I await a response in which no one will actually address this comment and instead go off on some other random tangent that won't make any sense.

Marcus said...

And you failed to explain how a PAC-10 ref penalizing a PAC-10 team is proof that CFB refs are crooked. Perhaps they are crooked, but just very bad at it.

I wonder who paid the refs back when the NFL and AFL were two separate entities and they played each other? Perhaps they used PAC-10 refs. They probably wore an onion on their belt, as was the fashion in those days.

Basically the CFB conferences are like the AFL/NFL before they merged. They are stand-alone entities that will play each other under agreed upon terms, such as who pays the refs.

GMoney said...

"Basically the CFB conferences are like the AFL/NFL before they merged. They are stand-alone entities that will play each other under agreed upon terms, such as who pays the refs."

And that is exactly why college officiating is garbage. This debate is over.

rstiles said...

You make good points, but in the end, I still love college football...

However, the NCAA needs to institute a 16 team playoff...

Anonymous said...

Art Shell Ref is awesome.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Mr. Ace-

You LIVE IN OHIO!!!

Dut

ddarroch said...

Great job having the balls to post exactly how you feel.

Doug
http://www.footballburrito.com/

Mr. Ace said...

I know assclown, thats my point. I am not less of a fan because I don't live in the same city as my team.

I agree with the fact that the refs should have a union and not be associated with conferences...I meant to put that in the previous post but my soapbox was not large enough.

Mr. Ace said...

Go Tigers d-bag

Marcus said...

"This debate is over."

Are you taking your ball and going home before explaining how PAC-10 refs flagging a PAC-10 team makes them biased?

Chill out man. I was actually somewhat entertained by your blog and thought the overall vibe here was one of humor and less of the vitriol found on most other blogs. I was trying to keep it light, so sorry if I rubbed you the wrong way.

GMoney said...

marcus, I'm not mad or anything but I've seen things like this get way too stupid here before and blown way out of proportion.

I don't believe that I said anything more than that call was terrible. I didn't blame the conference refs for the call...just that it was garbage.

Marcus said...

Can we all just agree that baseball sucks?

Eric said...

I'm so disappointed in you, GMoney! :)

You do bring up some good points about the officiating though. I love college football like nobody else that I know, but sometimes the officials drive me nuts. Makes me glad we have replay.

Anonymous said...

College football is really annoying, so are the fans. Love football, hate college ball.

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Anonymous said...

Whether you agree or disagree with the writer, this was an excellent post that makes a lot of valid points. You can't call this a "bad" post just because you don't agree with what he said. That is called hate. Get the hate out of your blood and write your own articles.

Anonymous said...

College Football sucks!!! We have professional sports for a reason, not to lower ourselves to a minor college level.

Anonymous said...

GMoney..

Thank you for posting this haha, I searched for someone to explain to me why I've always had no, and i mean NO interest whatsoever in college football. This hits it on the hammer.

I'm not from the States therefore have no ties to college football... but am a huge NFL fan.
I can totally understand having a tie to your own college or a place you grew up in. However, let's just say anytime (and I don't do it anymore) i've turned on college football and tried to watch - it's been borderline unbearable. Erratic passing, games that are moving along at a horrendous pace at 45-3 in the 3rd quarter... yeah that's exciting. And the lack of a playoff system is laughable.

College basketball i absolutely love. I can't think of any month in sports more exciting than March. Why can't college football find a way to replicate this for an outsider who doesn't have a tie to any of these schools?

-Ben

Anonymous said...

Phillip, that logic is flawed!?!

Therese
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