Thursday, August 07, 2008

Luck Had Everything To Do With It



It doesn't happen too often, but every once in a while, a coach or manager will make all the right moves for a few weeks and everything will come up gold. Take Clint Hurdle last year for example. He could have lit Matt Holliday on fire and the Rockies were still going to win. Sometimes, even the most insane coaches will get bailed out by the superb play of their players.

Anyway, today The Money Shot will take a look at these decision makers...except that we aren't going to applaud them at all. Nope, we're calling them out instead. For these guys were so damn lucky that it makes me want to puke. In my opinion, their championships were nothing more than a joke. And how are we going to rate the coaches, you ask?

Each of our candidates will be rated on a scale of luckiness from 1-10; 1 being the Buffalo Bills/any team from Cleveland and 10 being Rich Beem. If you remember, Beem won the 2002 PGA Championship. He was a terrible golfer before that tournament, pulled it together for one week for his landmark, shocking win, and then fell off the map after the tournament was over. So let's get started, shall we?

Dishonorable mention: Larry Coker (2001 Da U), Doc Rivers (2008 Boston Celtics), Steve Fisher (1989 Michigan Hoops), and Mack Brown (2005 Texas Longhorns) Obviously, all of these guys have/had their mental deficiencies, but somehow they pulled it all together. They suck, but not enough to make the top 5.



5. Tom Coughlin (2008 New York Giants)

If this guy walked into a room and starting talking, how quickly would you stop paying attention to him? 5 seconds? You can just look at him and immediately deduce that he has no credibility. Even though he won the Super Bowl last year, I still have yet to hear anyone say anything good about him as a coach. The defense responded to Steve Spagnuolo and Eli Manning finally realized that throwing the ball to guys on his team was the way to go. And let's not forget that he looks like Fievel from An American Tale either. Remember that NFC title game in Green Bay? By the 4th quarter his face looked like an old catcher's mitt. He looked like Kramer in the Seinfeld episode when he spent too much time around cigarette smoke. Disgusting.
Beem Score: 7/10



4. Jack McKeon (2003 Florida Marlins)

Some people thought it was cool that a guy who dedicated his life to baseball finally won a World Series at the ripe young age of 106. Not me. He walked into a situation where he had some of the best young arms in baseball. His toughest job as manager was to stay awake throughout the entire game and not crap his pants in the process. Trader Jack didn't even mind lighting up a cigar or two while sitting in the dugout. When you can't remember where you parked your car half the time and still refer to minorities as "Coloreds" (probably), you didn't really deserve that ring. But I wish him all the success in the world on the shuffleboard court.
Beem Score: 7.5/10


3. Philip Fulmer (1998 Tennessee Volunteers)

Does this guy look like a champion at all? Can anyone explain to me how he could continue to blow big games with Peyton Manning but go undefeated with the great Tee Martin? It still boggles the mind that this guy won a national championship. JUST LOOK AT HIM. It's hard to fathom that at one point, he was once at the pinnacle of his profession. He looks like a guy who would be more comfortable wearing greasy overalls and no shirt underneath as opposed to holding a whistle and a clipboard. The fact that he still has a job after almost a decade of imcompetence only adds fuel to the fire that that title was a complete fluke.
Beem Score: 8.25/10


2. Bob Brenly (2001 Arizona Diamondbacks)

How easy it must have been to tell Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson to just go out there and throw a complete game? Well, that's what Brenly did in 2001. It really speaks to his ineptness that after being relieved of his job a few years after his World Series win (and destruction of the Yankees dynasty which is still a very sore subject with this blogger), NO ONE wanted him as their coach. But, hey, at least he's a mediocre color commentator for the Cubs now. Ugh, he sucks at everything but maintaining some lovely lip fur.
Beem Score: 9.5/10


1. Brian Billick (2001 Baltimore Ravens)

If you've been coming here long enough, you know that I think of Brian Billick along the same lines as I feel toward the comedy of Ray Romano...I hate him. It still boggles the mind that Billick was considered an offensive genius when he got the job in Bawlmer yet his Raven offenses were hopeless, dickless, and unimaginative each and every year. The fact is, Ray Lewis and Ed Reed (whoops, forget this) and Tony Siragusa won that Super Bowl for him. He didn't do shit. His QB was Trent Dilfer...Trent Dilfer? THAT is who took his vaunted offense to the highest level. If there was EVER any coach that didn't deserve his day in the sun based on his reputation, it's Billick. I just thank God that we don't have to deal with his "molding" of Kyle Boller anymore. Just a ridiculous tenure that gets overshadowed by one season of excellent defense that he had no hand in.
Beem Score: 11.75/10

Congratulations, Brian! You are the luckiest coach in the history of professional/collegiate sports! But don't get too comfortable on that throne. We could be a mere 6 months away from a certain Mr. Wade Phillips dethroning you. I wouldn't bet on it though, his QB is still Tony Simpson-Romo.

61 comments:

J Beanie said...

Kind of funny you rip Beem the same day I pick him to win the PGA. God I hate you.

I disagree with your ranking system. I think Steve Fisher and Doc Rivers are the luckiest coaches ever to win a championship. Doc's teams were God awful for years. He couldn't get anyone to play for him two years ago. Then, Kevin McHale and others give him the best team in the league and still tries to blow the season by his stupid rotation. His season should have been over had LBJ made a lay-up in game one or fucking JP Brown remembers he sucks. That championship had nothing to do with Doc.

Same with Fisher. I love Michigan and was/am happy they won a basketball national championship but Fisher had nothing to do with this team. He was the interim coach who took over a few games into the year.

Mac G said...

George Siefert with the 49ers and Barry Switzer with the Cowboys were both damn lucky to be left with dynasty teams.

Anonymous said...

ed reed wasn't on that team you idiot

Anonymous said...

Ed Reed wasn't on the Ravens Superbowl team you Jabroni.

Darth said...

I think you have to include Mack Brown. Vince Young did everything for that team, and I don't think it was so much Brown's awesome play calling abilities so much as it was Vince's pure talent. Brown just happened to be on the sideline for that year.

GMoney said...

I would like to apologize for including Ed Reed...not really the point of this topic, but I'm glad the police are watching me anyway.

Seifert and Switzer were both awful, can't believe I forgot them. I gave Doc a little credit for kicking Phil Jackson's ass.

Anonymous said...

The fact that Terry Francona did not make this list challenges each and every choice on this list. He will never be forgiven by the children of Philadelphia after he let Scott Rolen sit on "Scott Rolen Day."

J Beanie said...

I hate the Red Sox but Terry Francona doesn't deserve to be on this list. He has won two titles and it takes a little more than luck to win both (although both were won with lots of luck). This list is for one-hit wonders like the Wallflowers.

Anonymous said...

Mike Ditka. My 9-yr-old daughter could have coached that team to a SB win.

Don said...

For the same reason it was easy for Bob and his mustache, Ozzie Guillen had it easier. He used his bullpen, what, once in the world series? He did nothing but direct the spotlight on himself and murder the english language worse than Maroni in Johnny Dangerously.

jordan said...

"You can just look at him and immediately deduce that he ahs no credibility."

with your lack of spelling ability it's pretty easy for me to deduce that you have no credibility

Anonymous said...

Rip Brenly all you want for his managerial skills, but he is a solid announcer. Have you listened to some of the other crap that's out there?

Anonymous said...

I can not believe Barry Switzer was not on top of this list. No one could have lucked into a better position than getting the Cowboys with umpteenth Hall Of Fame players still in their prime. He should have sent half of his Super Bowl Bonus to Johnson.

GMoney said...

You're absolutely right, Jordan, I have no idea how to spell "has". When did they change it from ahs to has???

Anonymous said...

This has to be one of the worst lists ever. There's a little over a dozen comments and we've already found numerous mistakes, omissions, and gotten an apology from the writer. Do a little more research, guy. Don't forget spell check, either.

Anonymous said...

I'm not a fan of Mack Brown but to say Vince won the national title is not fair to the 20+ future NFL players who participated in that game for both teams. Both teams were stacked with players who could take over a game but most importantly Pete Carroll blows.

Anonymous said...

Barry Switzer, Dallas Cowboys, 1996

Anonymous said...

J beanie, you don't know what your talking about. Everyone likes Doc Rivers as a coach and he is a good coach. His teams were so young. Check the stats on how old his teams were the past 2 or 3 years then get back to me. And once you have 3 superstars doesn't mean your automatically going to win a championship. There are a few teams with 3 all stars in the lineup but don't win. Get your shit straight buddy and stop hating because your teams don't win championships.

Anonymous said...

Last year. LSU wins the national championship with TWO losses. Les Miles was lucky to escape with two wins last year, he was lucky to be 'voted' into the BCS title game, and he was lucky to play a team that doesn't seem to be aware of January football. LSU was the crappiest team ever to win a BCS game.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I forgot to mention - LSU also got to win their BCS game at home. I would put the entire LSU organization at a 12.75/10 on this scale.

Ryan Bearden said...

Siefert and Switzer definitely need to be on that list as one poster pointed out - those guys were the epitome of lucky to inherit what they did. And how did you put Billick on there? He had a decent running back and 10 stand ins on offense. He's not the best coach in the league, but he was not deserving of this list.

Mack Brown? Hasn't he won like 10 games a year for the last 8 years? That's not luck - VY had sooo much to do with that team, but it was also littered with guys now in the NFL.

rstiles said...

I FUCKING HATE BOB BRENLY!!!!

That bastard made so many bad moves in the 2001 World Series...I am a Yankees fan and I wanted that Series so fucking bad because of 9/11....

FUCK YOU BOB BRENLY!!!

GMoney said...

Thanks, anon 12:13. Remember that I'm a blogger and not a paid journalist. In my defense, I wrote this last night but Blogger erased it for some reason so this was hastily prepared. Bastards. I stand by my top 5 and if you are upset because I left someone off of the dishonorable mention list, well, I've got a lovely sack of testicles that are just screaming to be tea-bagged.

I regret nothing.

Anonymous said...

How about Jon Gruden who got to face the same team using the same offense he coached before? Not to mention the o-lineman who freaked on game day... Barret Robbins or something>

rstiles said...

Jim Tressel

Tressel in 2002 was a freaking lucky bastard...

1. Tressel had John Cooper's players...

2. The Cincinnati player dropped a TD pass with 23 seconds to go that would have allowed Cinn to beat OSU

3. The 4&1 call against Purdue...

4. Michigan was at the 20 yard line when time ran out

6. Clarett carried that team...come on, Craig Krenzel at QB???....

7. AND THE BIGGEST - the referee cheated in the title game with the phantom interference call 5 seconds after the play was over!!!

JIM TRESSEL SHOULD BE #1 ON THIS LIST!!!

Anonymous said...

I would put Lloyd Carr ('97 Wolverines) over Steve Fisher. At least Fisher took the Fab Five to two championship games in '92 and '93 in addition to the '89 championship team. He had a good run.
Lloyd on the other hand bought ten years of mediocre seasons with that '97 team. Take Charles Woodson off that team and Carr would have been gone a long time ago. Thanks Chuck for making me have to deal with Carr and annoying OSU fans the past four years.

-GSaul

Anonymous said...

Tom Coughlin? Yeah, he's a lucky coach...right. Guy's won a Super Bowl and took an expansion team from start-up to the NFC Championship game in, what?, three years, or something. Yeah, that's all luck. Just because he has a history of being a hard-@ss so players don't like him doesn't mean he isn't a damn good coach.

Ferro94 said...

rstiles wrote:

I FUCKING HATE BOB BRENLY!!!!

That bastard made so many bad moves in the 2001 World Series...I am a Yankees fan and I wanted that Series so fucking bad because of 9/11....


Wow that might win the award for the stupidest comment ever written. The Yankees winning were going to make up for 9/11? Also, good thing the rest of the country wasn't affected by 9/11, or you might seem selfish and ignorant! Yep, thank God it was just something that only affected New York, and actually only Yankee fans, so that you could just win the World Series and make it all better.

EvilXenu said...

YOU FORGOT CLUE-LES MILES! SHOULD'VE BEEN #1. WITH THE AMOUNT OF TALENT HE INHERETED FROM SABAN HE SHOULD HAVE WON 4 NC'S BY NOW, AND HE BARELY WON ONE. LOST 2 GAMES AND STILL GOT TO THE BCS NC BY DEFAULT - HAS TO BE THE LUCKIEST SH*T EVER

Anonymous said...

Wait, don't your testicles do the tea-bagging? That's pretty gross if your testicles are "screaming to BE tea-bagged." That's a new one to me..

Tony B. said...

I can't be left out of this one- how about Dusty Baker from the 2002 Giants? I thought he was a good manager until he was ousted there, got lucky (or unlucky) with the Cubs one year, and now manages the Reds into the ground (or keeps them there.) He basically does nothing and gets know as a "player's manager."

Anonymous said...

How about all these anon posters grow a set and put down their name. Glad you can talk shit on a blog (that many of us enjoy reading daily and you have soiled with your bitching) and hide behind the anonymous tag.

-Burgei

rstiles said...

Hey Ferro, you dumb fuck...I never said that it was going to make up for 9/11!!!!!...

My point, it would have been nice for the people in NY to have a few minute break from the tragedy of 9/11 and have something to celebrate as a diversion from what happened...

So take your head out of your rectum because you missed my point!

khennett said...

How could you possibly forget Barry Switzer for the Cowboys. Anyone could have won a championship with the Cowboys team Jimmy Johnson left him. Heck he was one interference call on Deion Sanders agains Michael Irvin wawy from winning 2 Super Bowls in a row.

Anonymous said...

Tubby Smith anyone? All Pitino's players and no other championships? Qualifies doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

dude your a fucking idiot. you do realize the best part of you was wiped on the sheets right money?

Anonymous said...

How bout Bill Cowher? After years of coming up short in big games, he must of sold his soul for his ring. First Palmer gets hurt in the 1st quarter of their wild card game after throwing a 70 yard or so pass. Then in Indy, where the Bus should've taken the title of the worst last play of a career ever, the idiot Colts CB didn't follow the cardinal rule of turnover returns: RUN FOR THE SIDELINE. Instead he weaves & wags & Big Ben makes a lucky shoestring tackle. That was followed by the most badly missed unblocked FG in NFL history. Then in the Super Bowl the refs gave them the game.

Modern Pirate 55 said...

I have to agree that Les Miles and Tressel got extremely unlucky in their championship winning years. They might be good coaches but they had no right to those championships. Funny how they played each other last year, huh? If there was a playoff, like there should be, it would have been Georgia over USC, just like it will be this year.

Anonymous said...

GMoney,

This might be your record for number of comments to one post, so I just wanted to add another to the record.

-GSaul

Anonymous said...

37 comments! Is that a new record?? Hey Tressel hater- have you seen what he has done with that program since he has gotten there? Name another program that has been as successful as OSU in the last 5 years. Also, the Miami-OSU game shouldn't have gone into OT if you want to talk about "bad calls." For some reason you forget about the Chris Gamble catch in bounds after being held twice on 3rd down that would have given OSU a first down with 2 minutes to go. And Miami had 0 time outs. Oops. No way OSU wins the championship that season without Tressel. Bitch.


-Dut

Anonymous said...

Modern- Maybe Georgia shouldn't get blown out at home and maybe USC shouldn't lose to Stanford. Stop bitching.

-Dut

Ferro94 said...

rstiles, I didn't miss your point, your point was just stupid. "Man after 9/11 I REALLY hope the Yankees win!" What the fuck. The idea that the Yankees winning would somehow soothe the pain from 9/11 was your point, and that point is stupid and ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Hey guys, read the comments. Switzer has already been mentioned 10 times, we get it.

Yeah the ref cheated in the 2002 Fiesta Bowl. Ohio State probably paid him off, right? That's a really intelligent statement. Idiot.

Where all these anon douchbags coming from anyways?

-Damman

GTinMaryland said...

Another interesting note about Billick and the Super Bowl season: he spent half the season (maybe even more) convinced that he had an offense that could throw the football. He had a fresh Jamal Lewis in his PRIME and didn't start using him frequently until about the 12-game mark or so.

Not coincidentally, this was when the Ravens started kicking everyone's ass because now they could play the ball-control game.

You should also mention that it was Marvin Lewis' defense. Billick really had very little to do with it.

Anonymous said...

"Where all these anon douchbags coming from anyways?"

They're the same people who try to correct every comma and word usage on Awful Announcing, because they can't think of anything funny to post.

Tony B. said...

Irony:

G Money getting bagged on for spelling "has" incorrectly by anonymous - then anonymous says "your [should be "you're"] an idiot."

So to recap: if you want to be an asshole about spelling, check "you're" own goddamn spelling also. Also, if you do not want to be lumped in as "anonymous" then write whatever made up moniker you want to distinguish yourself from the rest of these d-bags.

PS: Barry Switzer is not a good coach.

GMoney said...

To my regulars, it helps when CNNSI throws a link my way. I have well over 10,000 new visitors today alone. I am very humbled that at least everyone has an opinion on this topic, anonymous or not.

Now let's all play nice and laugh at Wade Phillips singing along to "My Girl" on Hard Knocks last night. Priceless.

Anonymous said...

Two words:

BARRY SWITZER (1995)

SKK said...

Very well crafted post, GMoney (Ed Reed gaffe or no Ed Reed gaffe)! Billick should give half of every dime he made coaching the Ravens to Randy Moss & Chris Carter. "Coordinating" the offense in Minnesota made him a very lucky and wealthy man.

Anonymous said...

A couple of people come to mind. I'm not sure if they've been mentioned already, but Jon Gruden with the Bucs in 2002 was really lucky. Not only did he have Tony Dungy's team and Monte Kiffin's defense, but he got to face his old team in the Super Bowl.

Also, Pat Riley with the Heat in 2006. Not sure if you can call him lucky, since he himself fired Van Gundy and made himself coach. And then the finals were obviously fixed so the Heat would win.

Anonymous said...

How about Georgia basketball coach Dennis Felton? Was his team even coming close, let alone winning the SEC tournament for the automatic berth to the NCAA tournament one of the luckiest things any of us has ever seen in college basketball?

Mac G said...

Damn GMoney, Da Blog is BLOWIN up Dawg! I want to take some credit for the popularity of this post and nailing the gun carrying Switzer.

It only seems fitting with this topic that I get some pub that I do not deserve or earn! :)

This is a stretch but Miami's coach Howard Schnelleberger. He won the title because Nebraska's coach Osborne went for 2 when a tie wins the championship.

I think he was ran out of town only a few years later before Jimmy Johnson came in to run shit.

rstiles said...

Congrats on the BLOW-UP!!!!!

Falcon60 said...

Oh my god! I have been saying this about Billick since he left the Vikings! How could anyone think he was a genius after two years with the Ravens? He was a joke and so was Siefert. He (Siefert) "fell" into a great situation with the 49ers and his true coaching ability showed through in Carolina. But to me Billick was the biggest and most over hyped (by the media) coach in NFL history. Ditka was at least a coach for several years before he took over the Bears in '82. Billick will not get another head coaching job in the NFL in my humble opinion and doesn't deserve one.

Anonymous said...

Stop stealing jokes from Seinfeld

Josh said...

Everyone needs to stop ripping Seifert. If others have given Francona a pass because he won twice then Seifert should get the same. He may not have been Bill Walsh but he won in 89 against the Broncos (in the largest blow out in Super Bowl history) and then took the 94 team to a title, where they pasted the Chargers. I understand that the 89 teams was Walsh's team but could we not say the 04 Sox were Grady Little's team then?

Anonymous said...

how about roy williams. he won his only national championship with brad doughertry's recruits. what has he won since?

UVADivingCoach said...

If you weren't an idiot, which you are, you would know that defense wins championships. I hate the Ravens but they aren't the only team to win without offense in the past ten years, ie, Tampa Bay Bucs who had Dexter Jackson named MVP...you've obviously never played team sports and i'm guessing you are a very un-athletic tool bag that has never been coached. Tee Martin was a great college leader as was Payton Manning, the college game is completely different from the Pros and PHIL FULMER recruited and got commitments from the likes of Payton Manning which automatically makes him a stud. You should not have a blog, plus ED REED wasn't on that team OMG get a new hobby.

UVADivingCoach said...

If you weren't an idiot, which you are, you would know that defense wins championships. I hate the Ravens but they aren't the only team to win without offense in the past ten years, ie, Tampa Bay Bucs who had Dexter Jackson named MVP...you've obviously never played team sports and i'm guessing you are a very un-athletic tool bag that has never been coached. Tee Martin was a great college leader as was Payton Manning, the college game is completely different from the Pros and PHIL FULMER recruited and got commitments from the likes of Payton Manning which automatically makes him a stud. You should not have a blog, plus ED REED wasn't on that team OMG get a new hobby.

GMoney said...

Hey, you're a diving coach, what does dick taste like???

Anonymous said...

How about the coach of the baltimore colts when they beat the cowboys in suberbowl five? Don Mccaferty?