Thursday, July 24, 2008

Your 2011-2012 Seattle Cavaliers



Work with me today, I'm going to explore an absolute worst case scenario regarding my Cleveland Cavaliers that entered my warped and twisted mind today. I've done no research on the topic at all. I'm just throwing it out so, in case it does go down, I can say that I knew it was going to happen. Keep in mind, some idiot on a Cavs message board just flippantly brought this up, but he doesn't have an amazing blog like me to dive into this further. So let's do this, let's talk about the end of an era...sigh...a horrific chain of events that would lead the Cavaliers to possibly move from Cleveland to Seattle some day.

Let's start from the top. We all know that David Stern (best picture ever) permitted Clay Bennett (sack of goat feces) to buy the Sonics eventhough he had the full intention of moving the team to Texas's Hat. The city of Seattle sued Bennett. They settled on a deal where he would buy out of his contract with the city for $45 million. Seattle would get another $30 million from Bennett if an NBA team didn't relocate there within the next 5 years. This is all public knowledge and we know this. Clay Bennett, go ahead and take the rest of this post off.

What we also know is that LeBron James can become a free agent after the 2009-2010 season. We've heard all of the people that don't know anything about the NBA talk about how it's a shoe-in that he's taking off for one of the New York teams. While I think that it is still waaaaay too early to say that and just because he's friends with Jay-Z doesn't mean shit, it is still something that you have to consider as a possibility. Personally, I don't think he goes anywhere. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. The Cavaliers are showing that they are at least trying to win a championship. In 2 years, the Knicks and Nets will still both be rebuilding. The money isn't an issue either. The Cavs, per NBA regulations, can offer more money and more years than any other team in the league. Also, LeBron is saavy enough to realize that the more salary he commands, the worse his supporting cast is going to be. After all of this, the pundits will throw out the lame reasoning of endorsements. First of all, LeBron isn't hurting when it comes to having his face on TV and in print. And as far as that Nike provision that pays him more if he's in a bigger market? Well, that Nike contract runs out the same time he becomes a free agent. So what else do you have for me, morons?



But enough of defending why LeBron will always be a Cavalier. Obviously, we fans all realize that there is a chance that he could bolt. So let's say that he does and he heads to one of the boroughs. I've said it before and I'll say it again, should LeBron James leave Cleveland, professional basketball in the state of Ohio is dead FOREVER. The state loved those Mark Price/Larry Nance teams of the 80's and early 90's but eventually they broke up. No one cared about the Shawn Kemp and Bobby Phills years. But then the local boy came. The prodigy. The savior for the city of Cleveland. LeBron woke up a once deceased Cavaliers fanbase like he was The Undertaker. The people came back in waves. The playoff crowds were deafening. Hell, Cleveland has had a massive banner of LeBron on one of the buildings for the past few years. The city loves the kid and loves the sport again.

Now imagine he leaves his hometown.

All of a sudden, we're back to mid-90's Cavalier basketball. A 30 win season happens in '10-'11 with dwindling crowds and no hope for the future. Season ticket holders start bonfires to torch their once valuable ducats. Coaches and GM's get fired. Big free agents would rather be sodomized than to sign with the Cavs. Dan Gilbert, realizing that the LeBron gravy train has halted to a stop and that he is hemorrhaging money, puts the team up for sale after the 2011 season.



David Stern, seeing an opening here, makes a secret proposition to Microsoft asshole, Paul Allen. He tells him that he's got a team for him that just so happens to be up for sale and none of their fans would care if they left anyway. Allen cuts a fat check to Gilbert and promises to buy a few shares of Quicken Loans and like THAT...another team leaves Cleveland under the cloak of night. Seattle gets the NBA back, Clay Bennett keeps his $30 million, and Clevelanders are left holding their dicks.

Now, I have no idea what the details are regarding the Cavaliers lease with the city or any other legal mumbo jumbo that could potentially deter this from happening. All I do know is that when you think about it, it doesn't seem that far-fetched. If Our King bolts, NO ONE will be going to The Q anymore and Stern could step right in and help move them to the Pacific Northwest. I don't even want to think about LeBron leaving, but, in my mind, it's always better to prepare for the worst.

The NBA: Where Amazing Happens And David Stern Always Gets What He Wants

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

You do realize that Paul Allen owns both the Portland Trail Blazers and their arena, don't you? Think that might be kind of a conflict of interest you dumb ass?

--Drew

GMoney said...

Oh, so sorry that I brought up a hypothetical. This comes from the guy that wanted to talk about the WNBA yesterday. I admitted that I did no research, who would buy the team isn't the point anyway.

Your fantasy football team is going to suck again.

j-wad said...

"And as far as that Nike provision that pays him more if he's in a bigger market? Well, that Nike contract runs out the same time he becomes a free agent. So what else do you have for me, morons?"

You don't think that LeBron will command a MUCH bigger contract extension with Nike if he's in New York or LA vs Cleveland? That will more than offset the greater NBA salary Cleveland can offer.

If LeBron stays in Cleveland beyond 2010, the reason will be loyalty to his home state, not money.

Matt said...

If Lebron leaves - and I'd put it somewhere between unlikely and 50-50 - then this isn't a conspiracy theory; it might as well happen. Then, 5 years later, you'll have a new team in Columbus.

Mez said...

I've talked about this before between friends. If LeBron leaves, the franchise is dead in Cleveland. I can't imagine any way in hell to convince people to come see the Cavs except when LeBron is in town, which will probably result in a riot. If LeBron leaves and this doesn't happen, I'll be shocked.

Anonymous said...

J-Wad nails it.

--Drew

Morgan Wick said...

Forget Allen owning the Trail Blazers; doesn't he own the Seahawks as well, and doesn't the NFL still have a prohibition on owning another major league team in the same market?

Anonymous said...

Lebron gave the Cavs a chance. When he was in the finals, it looked like he had a team of YMCA league players with him. Cleveland flat out sucks and will always sucks. Who the hell wants to play in that loser city any how. I mean look at all the teams. Lebron get out now. Your a billionare. Take less money and go to a contender and collect 10 rings before you call it a career.

GMoney said...

God dammit, how many times do I need to say it, "who" would potentially bring a team back to Seattle isn't the point of this post.

Last anon asshole, again, are the Nets or Knicks on the cusp? Fuck no, they're both awful.

Anonymous said...

I think the "Microsoft asshole" being referred to is Steve Ballmer

SG489 said...

You know, I wish that David Stern should leave in scrutiny and basically and personally, I think that he is the worst commissioner of sports.

Sons of Big Daddy Drew said...

@last anon: You've obviously never met Gary Bettman.

J Beanie said...

I was gone so I'm reading this late but interesting. I don't see it happening but it's an interesting hypothesis. But if the Cavs stuck around during the horrible 80s, they'll make it through whatever else comes. If Seattle is to get get a current team to relocate there, my guess would be either the Bobcats or Memphis.

Chris said...

so 'some idiot' comes up with the idea that the cavs may move to seattle and u decide to take the time to write an entire blog about it..

makes u look like at least 10 times the idiot that guy is...

Anonymous said...

If this actually hapenned it would be so frikking awesome.

Cavs fans, face reality. Right now, Nike, the Knicks, LeBron, his advisors and David Stern are trying to figure out the best and easiest way to get him out of Cleveland while giving up nothing to the Cavs.

No one outside of Cleveland wants him to stay, in fact most of us are anticipating you getting screwed over so we can mock you.

I predict that not only will you lose the Cavs but the Indians also. All of the Indians players will end up in NY or LA sooner or later and you might as well get used to 100 loss seasons.

Hey! At least you still have tSlowsu and the Brownstains LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Cleveland, City of Losers!!!!!!

LeBron in NYC BABY! BOOK IT!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Anonymouse You suck you hating son of a blank

Anonymous said...

Half of this actually happened (sort of)...and the rest I bet you it also will happen! The only thing to point out, LBJ left to a team that will not suck and he may actually win a ring right away...wow. GMoney nailed it!