Thursday, July 03, 2008

Re-Evaluating My Genius

If you remember, which you all should, we did a preview/prediction post in late March. They were so wildly popular with the ladies and little boys, that we had to separate them into an AL and NL preview. Are you starting to remember now? We brought in the drooling Steve Phillips to help us out. There you go, now you're on the trolley.

Anyway, with the baseball season half over, I figured it would be a good time to take a look back at those brilliant predictions and see if any of them need to be *cough* revised. I've incorporated some snizz for those who are going to read today to ease the pain a bit.

Preseason - Yankees, Red Sox (WC), Blue Jays, Rays, Orioles
Midseason - Red Sox, Yankees (WC), Rays, Blue Jays, Orioles
Come on, we all know that the Rays are going to fade. I'll give the Sox the division eventhough I hate them more than American Idol. This is clearly the best division. I still can't believe that Baltimore is playing well.

Preseason - Tigers, Indians, White Sox, Twins, Royals
Midseason - Tigers, White Sox, Twins, Indians, Royals
I had my doubts for a bit, but the Tigers are still going to win this thing. The White Sox offense relies too much on the dinger. The Twins are overachieving but will falter due to not having any decent starting pitching. The Indians are, by far, the most disappointing and mismanaged team in baseball. And I couldn't be happier.

Preseason - Mariners, Angels, A's, Rangers
Midseason - Angels, Rangers, A's, Mariners
Note to self, never buy into ridiculous hype. Wow, did I miss on this one. The Angels are always going to be good, we should never doubt this. The Rangers lineup is amazing. How the hell are the A's even competitive? The Mariners are a god damn joke. What a fucking disgrace. But at least they weren't in the ALCS last year, thus making them the second biggest disappointment.

AL MVP - Then, Ichiro. Now, Alex Rodriguez. Hamilton is coming back toward the pack and Carlos Quentin isn't really good, so why not? If the Yanks are getting to the playoffs like I predict, Baseball Jesus is going to be the reason.
AL ROY - Then, Ian Kennedy. Now, Evan Longoria. With a strong second half though, Joba could win.
AL Cy - Then, forgot to pick one. Now, Mariano Rivera. It sure as shit ain't going to a guy named Cliff.
Manager - Then, John McLaren. Now, Joe Maddon. In classic 90's lingo, DUHHHHH!
Playoffs - Then, Yankees over Tigers in the ALCS. Now, Angels over Red Sox. The Angels always beat the Yankees. Granted, they always lose to the Red Sox but some things have to change.

Preseason - Mets, Braves, Phillies, Nationals, Marlins
Midseason - Phillies, Mets, Marlins, Braves, Nationals
I don't really like any team in this division but the Phillies are the best. The Mets are a g'damn train wreck who haven't tried or cared since last August. The Marlins will slug their way into third. The Braves need to get healthy and it will be interesting to see how long Chipper can keep this up.

Preseason - Reds, Cubs, Brewers, Cardinals, Astros, Pirates
Midseason - Cubs, Brewers (WC), Cardinals, Reds, Astros, Pirates
I think I went balls out on the Reds about a year too soon, but they'll be back. The Cubs are just begging to get swept in the playoffs with that pitching staff. CC Sabathia will be a Brewer. How are the Cardinals not the worst team in baseball? The Astros and Pirates can probably just take the rest of the season off.

Preseason - Dodgers, Diamondbacks (WC), Rockies, Padres, Giants
Midseason - Diamondbacks, Dodgers, Giants, Rockies, Padres
The D-backs either need another stick or for Eric Byrnes to stop sucking, that pitching staff is too good for the NL. I haven't been paying attention, but is Joe Torre still throwing Scott Proctor everyday? Tim Lincecum should win the Cy Young in a landslide...he's also the dorkiest guy in the league. Suck my ass, Rock-tober. The Padres are the worst team of position players ever assembled.

NL MVP - Then, Jose Reyes. Now, Chase Utley. He'll break out again.
NL ROY - Then, Johnny Cueto/Jay Bruce. Now, right team, wrong rookie..Edinson Volquez. Now fix that hat!
NL Cy - Then, Chad Billingsley. Now, Lincecum.
Manager - Then, Dut Baker. Now, Tony LaRussa. They aren't making the playoffs but this has been one hell of a managing job by the drunk.
Playoffs - Then, Mets over Diamondbacks in the NLCS. Now, Diamondbacks over Brewers. I'm still staying on the D-Back bandwagon. As long as they get in, they aren't getting beaten out. Not when you have to beat Webb and Haren at least once. And not in the NL.

World Series - Then, Yankees over Mets in 6. Now, Angels over Diamondbacks in 7. Here's to hoping that this jinxes the Angels.

What have we learned:
1. Don't come to me for gambling advice or expertise.
2. I'm much better at finding hot chicks than predicting the future. Have a good holiday, I may be back Saturday with a small, but well-timed, rant.


jessegscott said...

Love the Chick Cub Fan!

first off.

Soto is winning NL ROY

Piniella has a great shot at Manager of the year, Manager of the year is not coming from a 2nd or 3rd place team

Lincicum is not winning the Cy Young. Its hard to say right now who will win that.

Thought Id point that out too you.

J Beanie said...

The Dodgers girl is disappointing compared to the other two. You could have done better.

You really think Joba is going to win the ROY. Stupid prediction. Almost as dumb as saying Rivera is going to win the Cy Young. Yep. Right now it has to be Cliff Lee. Somehow he's won 11 games on a team that's won only 37. That's pretty incredible to win that many games on a shitty team that can't score. But I don't think Cliff will win it either. But I know Rivera won't.

I hope, I hope the Rays don't fade. A sweep of the Red Sox (twice) makes them look for real, right?

Anonymous said...

If memory serves me correctly, you picked your fellow River Bandit Alum Chad Billingsley to win the NL Cy Young at the beginning of both last year and this year and were subsequently forced to change your pick. Are you going to pick him to win the Cy Young in whichever league he is playing from here on out for the rest of his career until you actually get it right?

Lil' Strut

rstiles said...

Hell with your predictions...who the fuck is the chick in the Cubbies jersey who is showing off her rack????

GMoney said...

Jesse, Volquez is easily the ROY. Piniella's team was supposed to be good, LaRussa's wasn't. It isn't an award for who has the best team, it's who did the best job managing. Lincecum is the favorite.

Beanie, I picked Longoria but I wouldn't be surprised if it went to Joba. Joe Saunders appears to be in the running for Cy. That's Alyssa Milano by the way. I think you knew that though.

Lil' Strut, I probably always will.

THANKS FOR COMMENTING AGAIN! It's been a down week, I apologize.

Tony B. said...

Lincecum is a savage.

His pitching ability is proportional to his nerdy looks.

Anonymous said...

You should be banned from blogging after putting the rally monkey on here.


Mac G said...

I just put a comment on the wrong post. Damn Mary Jane.

I still stand affirm on loving that Cubs picture.