Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The Middle Finger: Paul Dolan/Mark Shapiro



I'm doing something a little different today. I'm going to hop into the mind of my enemy and spew their venom for them. That's right, just for today, I am taking the shape of a Cleveland Indians fan (morphing)...

Ugh. I am such a loser. When will I ever see a bonafide, non-flukey contender again? At least I can take solace knowing that Cubs fans are twice as long of losers. But now that those formalities are out of the way, I'm sick of this shit. It's the same crap every damn year. Yes, I realize that last year was special. We were able to go the entire season without any major injuries, the bullpen was solid, and we got great production out of shitty players like Assball Cabrera. But, of course, that didn't last. We were so close to a fucking World Series victory/sweep last year, yet the guys who are supposed to bring us a title did nothing to help get them over the top. But apparently it's not their fault. Fuck them, they do not fool me.

This week's Middle Finger goes to Indians owner, Paul Dolan, and General Manager, Mark Shapiro.

We'll start with Shapiro. As I mentioned earlier, we weren't 1997 Jose Mesa-close to a World Series last year, but we weren't that far away. Had it not been for the semen-gargling JD Drew and his lucky-ass Grand Slam, who knows, the championship drought in Cleveland is likely over. Then the offseason came. Us fans were still smarting, thinking about what could have been last year, when news broke that our beloved owner would allow us to spend some money for this upcoming season. We're thinking, hell yeah, a few more pieces and let's start getting ready for that parade down Euclid Avenue! We waited. And we waited. Fuck, we're still waiting. And Jeff fucking Weaver doesn't count.



But our "genius" GM felt that adding the Japanese weirdo, Kobayashi, instead of a decent bat for the middle of the lineup or someone that could actually close games was a better idea. I don't think that Mark Shapiro even stepped foot into his office this past offseason. It's like he's taking management classes from Danny Ferry. And before we give Shapiro a break due to the club's financial restraints, let's also remember that the farm system, especially on offense, is largely bare. So, he's not helping the team win now and he's not helping the team win in the future through the draft. Exactly what the hell is this Jeff Garcia lookalike doing (besides being photographed with the well-groomed mustache of Eric Wedge)?

And then there is our tight-ass, bitch owners. It started with Larry Dolan threatening our fanbase a few years back by saying that he wouldn't spend money on the team unless the fans came to the park (which is such backwards-ass logic that you have to wonder how the hell he made his money in the first place but then when you realize that he is brothers with Knicks owner, Charles Dolan, it begins to make sense). And now that he is so incredibly senile and decrepit (he actually might be dead), his son, Paul, is running the team into the ground. Like father, like son, Paul Dolan (pictured up top, probably trying to steal money from senior citizens) has also decided that us fans aren't worth it. He's unwilling to open up his man-purse eventhough it is painfully obvious that this team was on the precipice of greatness. Obviously, he doesn't remember that sellout streak that we supported when, you know, WE HAD GOOD PLAYERS TO ROOT FOR. But that's not what really pisses me off. No no.

It's the lack of god damn accountability by the ownership/management. I have no problem with the team trading CC. We could have waited a little longer, sure, but what if he gets hurt? We at least got an almost major league-ready stud corner OF for him. Fine, whatever. No, what drives me crazy is the lame letter that Dolan published to Indians fans yesterday. Dolan blames the players for not living up to expectations, which is true, BUT YOU EMPLOY THESE GUYS! His remarks about CC are fucking laughable:

We made extensive attempts to secure CC's future in Cleveland by signing him to a contract extension. In fact, we offered CC a top of the market contract that included the highest annual salary in the history of the Indians' organization.

Fuck you. We don't believe that for a second. You made no serious effort at all. The guy won the Cy Young last season, saw the guy that he single-handedly beat 4-5 times (Santana, dipshits) last year alone sign a 7 year, 100+ million dollar contract, and has been a rock in our rotation for years...4 years/76 million is not a top of the market contract for someone with that resume. It's about the years, not the dollar figure, ass. I don't believe that it was the 19 million per year that he turned down, it's the 4 years. Had they offered 6 years/95-100 million, which is obviously less per season, then I think CC has a 50/50 chance of taking that. It was 0% for him to take that garbage 4 year deal. Once again, our owner is blaming others instead of himself. Just admit that that is not how the Indians do business, don't blame the player for doing what is best for him and his future.

It's just a fucking disgrace and it makes me physically nauseous thinking about how poorly this team is run and how little they care about us great fans. Fuck you, Paul and Mark, you guys fucking suck. Quit trying to throw blame on others and hold yourselves responsible for once. Was it Joe Borowski's fault that he was the worst closer of all time? No, you signed him to be that guy with no Plan B. Is it Eric Wedge's fault that he can't remember where he is half of the time? Nope, that's your hire. Is it Victor Martinez and Travis Hafner's fault for hitting a combined negative amount of home runs this year? Kind of, but you've left the team with no decent option as a replacement. Hindsight being 20/20 here, but when both of those guys went down and it was obvious that David Dellucci and Jason Michaels platooning in LF was a disaster, did you even contact Barry Bonds' agent and inquire about his availability? Yes, he has issues, but for a team that knew that this was going to be the last season that they have their ace, wouldn't it have been worth maybe bringing him in to help boost the stagnant offense? Nah, let's call up a few rookies who may not be ready for the show.



So enjoy this week's Middle Finger, Paul Dolan and Mark Shapiro and, hell, everyone employed by the Indians. The fans deserve better than this. They proved it last year in the playoffs with the deafening crowd noise and packed stadium. If you want to own/run a professional sports team, you would think that winning championships would be the ultimate goal. I guess that saving money is more important.

(morphing back)...

What just happened, I blacked out. Ah, just read it myself. Indians fans, I know that you don't want me to speak for you, but I think I'm right on here for the most part. It isn't always the players' fault. Until changes are made at the top of this organization, the drought in Northeast Ohio is going to continue.

14 comments:

Scott said...

Tribe's owner is Larry Dolan - just FYI

Scott said...

wow...scratch that. i'm retarded.

J Beanie said...

Thanks for venting for me. I feel better after reading this. Now, that they are playing for 2009, they better make moves to redeem themselves. But can we really rely on that given their offseason track record?

GMoney said...

Wow, Beanie, I figured you would be the first one to say that I shouldn't speak for you. Your approval is quite the reward.

I'm serious though, you guys deserve better.

Matt said...

The bullpen is good every other year. This year's implosion should've been expected. I imagine that's why the big signing was the hot dog king, Kobayashi.

Still, management's biggest flaw is not recognizing and correcting for flukes. Last year we basically lucked into Trot Nixon and Dellucci finding their way to the bench thanks to injuries and into Borowski piling up the saves. This year we should've acknowledged those flukes and moved on entirely.

Shapiro has never drafted well, and it's hard to say much about his eye for talent, given the acquisition of Josh Barfield and the jettisoning of Brandon Phillips. His success is in the system of turnover that keeps throwing shit against the wall until something sticks. Once we had some success, we got gun shy and left the system... Now we suck.

Jake said...

As a Wisconsinite and Brewer fan, I must thank the Indians for such a trade. Even though the Brewers come out WAAAAAAAAAY on top of this one, the Tribe is getting Matt LaPorta, who has the potential to be an absolute monster.

Hilarious rant, which reminds me much of the turmoil that has plagued the Redskins front office for years. But yeah, these Cleveland owners seems like class A dbags...

Anonymous said...

Very nicely done. Couldn't have said it better myself.

-Damman

GMoney said...

What can I say, I must be an Indians fan at heart. Nah, I just hate it when extremely rich people treat their consumers like shit.

-Mike said...

g$,
reading that makes it seem like you are one of us. Maybe it's the Ohio in ya afterall. Like everyone else said, great work.

When the Tribe wouldn't resign Thome, who was my favorite player ever, I said I was giving up on the team from the North Shore. Then, I got sucked back in b/c I was such a huge fan. I should have stayed away, now I am seeing this.

Is Thome a HOF? No, but he was one of the most loved people in my years of rooting for any Cleveland team. Now there is a whole new group of fans that will feel this way about CC.

rstiles said...

There was no way Cleveland was going to sign CC...they have taken a bath in the last few signings they have done...

Westbrook - about $10 mill a year - out with arm problems

Hafner - about $13 mill a year - out because he is off the juice

At the beginning of 2007, they had 3 big free agents coming up, Westbrook, Hafner, and CC...they knew they were not going to sign all 3...especially if CC wanted $17-$20 mill a year...

rick@waitingfornextyear said...

Don't speak for me...you have a potty mouth!

Sven said...

Good Job! :)

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