Thursday, May 08, 2008

Please Stop Embarrassing Yourselves

Game 2 of the Eastern Conference semifinals between the Celtics and Cavaliers is now in the books. Once again, the game was unwatchable. I realize that these are two of the better defensive teams in the league, but come on. It's almost a miracle if one of the teams can break 20 in a quarter. So today, I'm mailing one in. I'm just going to throw out some thoughts on this series after the first two snoozers. Hopefully, the remainder of the series will capture at least a bit of drama and intrigue.

--Hey, LeBron, you're playing like fucking shit. They're going to keep allowing you to shoot jumpers (like the Spurs did last year), it's up to you to make them. You are WIDE FUCKING OPEN and still clanging them all over the rim. Jesus. I don't mind seeing my boys lose when they aren't really supposed to win, but when our best player and the guy that we will always contend is the best player in the league is playing like this...damn.

--Big Z is playing like a mad man. He's not pretty (his game and his face) but he's been fantastic.

--I honestly thought that Ben Wallace was going to die when he collapsed on the bench. Dizziness? Really?

--The C's didn't give Boobie ANY open looks last night. Good defensive effort there.

--Anderson Varejao is the worst player in this series. It isn't even close.

--The only guy on the team shooting remotely (and that's a very weak remotely) well from outside is Wally. And even he isn't doing that great. But compared to his teammates, he's Kobe Bryant.

--Celtics fans chanting "overrated" at LeBron??? Nice try, bandwagon jumpers. Didn't you see what happened to the Wizards when they and their fans did the same thing? He's struggling now, do you really want him to make this personal???

--Game 2 was so bad that I turned it off in the middle of the 4th and started Survivor. By the way, how dumb is Erik??? Who gives away immunity and a guaranteed shot in the Final Four??? CBS put way too many idiots on this season. But I digress...

--I don't know why, but I despise James Posey. He's awkward. His shot looks terrible yet always goes in. His bi-colored mouthpiece makes him look like a retard. I hate him.

--Sam Cassell making jumpers make me want to vomit. Leon Powe outhustling Varejao and Joe Smith is embarrassing.

--Did we really expect the "Boston Three Party" AKA worst nickname ever, to struggle again??? The Cavs have to WIN these games because the Celtics aren't going to lose them.

--How about getting ONE fucking loose ball. The C's got all of them last night. Like I said, there is no shame losing in Boston, but when you get completely outclassed and outworked, that is unacceptable.

--Someone please wake up LeBron. Someone put a giant poster of Skip Bayless over his locker that says "I told you he's the queen" on it to get him focused and pissed off again.

--Mike Brown is fucking clueless when it comes to offense. I like him, he's charismatic and for some reason he has a spit cup on the bench, but this team will not win a title with him on the bench. We have to realize that. So to that I ask Mike D'Antoni not to sign anything until this season is over because there could/should be an opening in C-Town.

--Doc Rivers is a rotten coach as well. Not even Isiah could fuck up this team. And I hate it when they do the vignettes of his speeches where he basically says that the Cavs suck. I'm not refuting this, but that doesn't mean that I want to hear it.

--Again, LeBron, please get your head out of Hot Rod Williams' ass. Yes, he has sucked. But I hold out hope because of this: Bron scored 10 and 19 in the first 2 games against the Pistons last year. We won the next 4 games.

--Game 3 is obviously massive. Win and this series may go the distance. Lose, we're getting swept.

--In case they forget, the Cavaliers are the defending Eastern Conference champions. Play with the pride of a champion. If you're going to get beat and not repeat, make sure that the team that ousts you earns it. Right now, the Cavs aren't making the Celtics do that.

That's enough rambling. Rise Up, Cavs!!! Have a good weekend...Cooter Burger!


rock said...

Not a Cavs fan, but I like LeBron and as a Lakers fan I can't cheer the Celts no matter who's playing for them. I couldn't watch either of these games, I made it through the first half of game 1 and didn't make it halfway through the second quarter in the last one. I love how ESPN is quick to say that it's good defensive basketball games. Um, no, it's just that no one can score in a whorehouse. Glad to see I'm not the only one who hates Posey for no good reason.

J Beanie said...

Has a coach ever been fired in the middle of a series and another (better) coach brought in? Is it possible? Is it legal? If it is, the Cavs need to dump Mike Brown and hire D'Antoni right now.

Anonymous said...

Hey Bach....this is completely off subject but I was wondering if you saw the HBO Costas Now forum on the media and sports. They had a little session on there about blogging and it got real heated. I couldn't help but picture you on there giving that old man the business (I think his name was Buzz Bissinger). If you havn't seen it you should definitly check it out.......very relavant to what you do on here and good stuff.


GMoney said...

Check the archives, Boz, last Tuesday I discussed it. If you could get your head out of Gavin Floyd's scrotum, you would know these things.

Anonymous said...

I am actually very comfortable being up Gavin Floyd's ass.....and I plan on staying there as long as he keeps throwing near no no's!!!!!! My fault though, I will check it out. I guess I need to become a daily reader before I comment.

Anonymous said...

Very.....very good stuff Bach. I wish that Leitch guy would have been more of a cock back to that guy. Maybe even mentioning baby elepahant feces addiction!!!


Anonymous said...

Money Man,
you score a 23 cent pie yesterday? Papa John has the balls of a French Man!

--the Wig Master

GMoney said...

No, didn't even try. All the C-bus area stores had to close before dinner due to the craziness of the shitty central Ohio residents desperate for cheap, crappy food.

The PJ's on Hamilton Road had all of their windows broken out by an unruly, hungry mob.