Monday, May 05, 2008

The Middle Finger: PETA



I'm an animal lover. Well, not a sexual lover, but I love animals (beastiality really isn't my thing surprisingly). I'm probably a little bit over the top with the way I treat them. Especially with dogs. I'm a dog guy. Often times, I treat them even better than I treat people. Because let's be honest, most people fucking suck but almost all dogs are awesome (except for our fucking neighbor's). Growing up, we always had dogs in the house and, I'm not breaking any news here, not all of them are still around. Yes, it sucks and it takes awhile to get over it, but you have to move on. It's one of those things that everyone goes through: eventually someone or something close to you will die. But going back to animals, whether they die because they're hit by a car, or have a disease, or runaway, or sustain life-threatening injuries, these things happen and you have to accept that. Unfortunately, a certain group of losers believes differently. And they are back to make all of our lives miserable once again.

And that's why this week's Middle Finger goes to the jobless shitheads known as PETA.

First of all FUCK PETA. Obviously, we all know what transpired after the Kentucky Derby this past weekend with runner-up filly, Eight Belles. After crossing the finish line behind winner, Big Brown, she suffered compound fractures in both ankles. Medical teams had to euthanize her on the track. It's a sad tale and for those that happened to see it live, probably something that they will never forget. Apparently, the horse was writhing around in pain uncontrollably before the decision was made to put her out of her misery.

Often times, the best decisions aren't necessarily the most popular. I'm sure that they could have kept Eight Belles alive for awhile, but why? With the way that horses heal, there was a minimal chance that she would ever even walk again. The most humane decision was made and you could argue that the horse did was it was bred to do and then left somewhat on top. If I finished second in an awesome blogger's tournament and after my last sentence I broke my wrists, I would want you to put me down, too.

But unfortunately, this story is far from over. If you thought the entire "Barbaro" saga was overblown and beaten into the ground, then get ready for this ground swell of verbal feces. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is now dead center in the middle of this and turning the tragic story into a fucking joke. You see, PETA has nothing better to do than throw blame around and waste people's time. They are trying to turn this around not as an untimely accident, but as the fault of the owner and the jockey. And that is dispiccable.



Eight Belles didn't break her ankles during the race otherwise she would not have finished. The jockey didn't push her too hard because she didn't have any sort of a labored gait (horseracing term, bitch!). It was a freak fucking accident that is no one's fault. In fact, Mike Tirico had a PETA spokesperson on his drab radio show yesterday and he asked her if the jockey did anything different. She had no answer. He asked her three times and she didn't know. Just back the fuck off. You don't know what you're talking about. If you want to help the world, make more posters with naked chicks.

Let me ask you a question, when has PETA stuck their noses into something and you actually sided with them? When they started crying about the Derby, I found myself shifting my support to the glue and dog food industries. When they attacked Mike Vick, I was hoping that he would get off just to spite them (but only for about a day, he's a piece of shit). When PETA went after KFC for saying that the Colonel mistreated chickens, I immediately went out and snagged a bucket of drums and thighs. Why? Because these people are so objectionable that they force you to do the exact opposite of what they believe. I don't want them to feel like they have any say in my life at all. And I advise you to do the same. You could compare to them The Klan actually being that no one wants them to back their opinion because it makes their side look like shit.

Like I said at the start, I support whole-heartedly that animals be treated well. But there are other ways to go about spreading that message. Being a pompous prick is definitely not the right way to go. Sometimes you just need to let nature take it's course, if the most humane thing to do is to put a horse (or animal) out of it's misery after multiple compound fractures, then let it be. Pick your battles, this was not one of them.

And if you want an eye for an eye, I've got a perfect candidate for you. Since humans took the life of a horse with it's bones sticking out of it's skin, then why not take Joe Theismann and feed him to a stable of horses??? Sounds fair to me. THEN you will have earned some respect, PETA.



This wasn't hard. No one likes this group. This was an easy finger and a well-deserved one. PETA, enjoy this week's Middle Finger. You've spent the last 28 years annoying the shit out of people, it's time for you to go away now.

10 comments:

Tony B. said...

At least Joe Theisman tries to help society by recommending that every male of the age of 8 gets a prostate exam (he'll administer it if he can). I say give PETA Cedric Benson- gets rid of the Bears' terrible running back and then there will be one less drunk boat driver to worry about. If we're lucky, he'll struggle and take a few PETAians with him.

J Beanie said...

If you read my post yesterday you know how I feel about PETA. Hurricanes and earthquakes do more good then these people.

GMoney said...

PETA does make some fine advertisements though. So at least they have that going for them.

Matt said...

Second in an awesome bloggers contest? You could've at least made your example realistic.

Jeff V said...

What's wrong with People Eating Tasty Animals?

Anonymous said...

Good post. No peta fan here but I have a confession. I actually was sent a link to a video on the peta website and watched it. Huge mistake. That was about three months ago and I still have a hard time eating cow.

Steve (GFB from J Beanie, yes I came back to the dark side but it's not football season so it's okay.)

GMoney said...

GFB!!! Welcome to the winning team.

Mac G said...

Dude F PETA, I ate some roadkill last night at dinner while watching Nascar highlights. Go Cavs!
Brad Daugherty

rstiles said...

G Money!!!!...I agree about PETA...this was an unfortunate incident...I am an animal lover all the way, but PETA needs to chill out on this...

Johnny Utah said...

PETA has been riduculous. they continue to set their cause back with poor judgement and misguided market appearance. ACLU, Jessie Jackson/Rev Sharpton, PETA, each has a good purpose, yet they all alienate more than problem solve.