Monday, March 10, 2008
You know what, I feel fortunate. For as bad as some of my favorite teams have been over the past few years, one thing that I can say is that they've never given up. And you can't say that about one team. No, one team has completely packed in. From the front office, to the players, to the coach...they have moved on. They don't care about their fans. Season ticket holders? Fuck 'em, they don't need them. All they care about is themselves. It really is dispiccable when you think about it. If it wasn't for the New York Knicks dirty diaper of a season, they would stand out even more for being the pieces of shit that they truly are.
And that is why this week's Middle Finger goes to the Miami Heat.
Let's start from the top first. How about a big FUCK YOU to Pat Riley? Nevermind that he is completely incompetent and has no idea regarding talent evaluation. Nevermind that he shit on Stan Van Gundy two years ago so he could piggyback a championship. Nevermind that he has a long standing affinity toward racism (he played on the Kentucky team that lost to the all-black Texas Western back in the day but the racist part likely isn't true...I'll let you decide). Nevermind that he rocked an awesome mustache in the picture provided yet shaved it off like the merkin that he is. You have to give credit where credit is due...Pat Riley is a dick.
Recently, he announced that he may miss a few games down the stretch, even though he is the HEAD COACH, to go out to college games and scout players. I'm not making this up. The head coach of the Miami Heat will be skipping some games to look at kids who likely won't even be on his roster next season. Apparently, videotapes and workouts aren't good enough for Riles. He needs to get a live look instead of doing what he's paid to do in the first place. I noticed that he was in attendance at the Indiana/Penn State game on Sunday. He had to be impressed with Eric Gordon who couldn't even win in Happy Valley. You know why they call it that? Because every opponent leaves there happy. But you know what, Gordon would be a good fit because he can't beat crappy teams either. Fuck you, Pat Riley. Be a man and ride the season out. Only cowards run and hide.
Let's move on to Dwyane Wade. He should definitely be taken out of Charles' Five now. Wade took time out from riding around in wheelchairs due to a shoulder injury to have season ending knee surgery. My question is: now that he got his knee worked on, will he walk around in a sling? A neck brace? One of those big cones that they put on the heads of dogs? This is complete bullshit by the way. Do you really think that if the Heat were in the playoff mix, that he would be getting this work done? Hell no. Much like Riley, Wade is turning his back on his teammates. He quit. He doesn't want to realize that he's one of the main reasons that they are 11-51. For the mathematically deficient out there, that is an 18% percentage...and I rounded up. What a joke that title was two years ago. They are the NBA version of the Florida Marlins: a complete fucking fluke. A paper champion.
One more "fuck you" goes out to Ricky Davis. Why? Just because Mr. Triple Double always deserves one. You shouldn't need a reason to give the bird to Davis who may or may not have the worst winning percentage in the history of the NBA.
So enjoy your Middle Finger, Miami Heat. Thanks for tanking your season. Your 6 fans must be very happy. I only hope that their lottery fate goes the same way as the Grizzlies, Celtics, and Bucks of last year. Quitters should never be rewarded. Unless the reward is a Money Shot Middle Finger.