Tuesday, February 05, 2008
First things first, people that devote their lives to following college recruiting are losers. I mean seriously, what are the odds that a blue-chipper actually performs to their expectations...10%? 20%? Yet some people insist on treating these 18 year old high school seniors like saviors who will take their programs to new heights. It's a practice of false hopes and likely disappointments. And with National Signing Day for college football coming tomorrow, these dorks are all over mainstream media spewing out random facts and projections. Most kids don't make a major spectacle of the whole thing though. They know where they are going to go to school and make their decision known right away to avoid the media circus of nerds. Except for one kid.
And that is why this week's Middle Finger goes to Terrelle Pryor.
I know what you are thinking, how can you attack an 18 year old kid? Have you not read my stuff before...I do this shit all the time! Everyone is fair game. Especially punk-ass prima donnas who think that they are bigger than the game itself.
Pryor is apparently the #1 high school senior in the country and has had colleges falling all over themselves to talk to him for the past few years. He has known for the past few years who the real players were and where the best situation for him would be. And yet, we wait. He still doesn't know where he wants to play ball. Even with Signing Day tomorrow, he is now "80-90% sure" that he will make up his mind by tomorrow. Fuck you, Terrelle, we aren't naive. You know where you are going. You've already made up your mind. Why keep dragging this shit out?
You know why this is grinding my gears though? Because the last two days, on my way to and from work listening to the local sports talk radio, the Sportscenter updates didn't lead with the Super Bowl or Bobby Knight dying/quitting, they lead with a "Terrelle Pryor Update". THAT is what pisses me off. This kid is getting more attention in central Ohio than the goddamn Super Bowl! He's 18 fucking years old and statistics will show that he has a greater chance of shitting the bed than he does of playing on Sundays. And I know what you're thinking in the pedophiliac mind of yours, "that's the media's fault, it's not Terrelle's." Well, you're wrong. If he would just announce the decision that he made in his head long, long ago, we wouldn't have to deal with this insanity.
According to his website (yeah, he has one), he takes Charlie Batch with him almost everywhere to help him with the recruiting process. Charlie Batch??? How is a guy that played at Eastern Michigan going to help a kid handle the rigors of big-time recruiting? Or maybe Chaz is making a last ditch pitch for the Eagles?
All could be forgiven (for the most part, I still hate me-first athletes) if he just makes his decision tomorrow. But I doubt he will, he wants this to keep escalating until he gets his own ESPN reality show. Or a new car from Tressel's brother or a sack with a dollar sign on it from Richie Rodriguez. And that is the worst part. It's believed to be down to Ohio State and Michigan as his final destinations. So think about this, if he waits until a week or two to pick, the loser in this is fucked. Not just for this year, but for a few years. Especially Michigan. DickRod is putting all of his eggs in Pryor's basket to come in and run his spread offense for the next 4 years. If Pryor comes here (Columbus) but doesn't announce that until March, what does Michigan do? They have NO QB (which would be good because my Redhawks play them this Fall). Same thing with Ohio State but not nearly as obvious. If the best that they have is 40 year old Todd Boeckman, they need him, too. And it's clear that they have no one else. He's holding these programs hostage. And that's bullshit.
So fuck you, Terrelle Pryor, you are an asshole. Just make up your fucking mind already. You are nothing more than a newer, less suicidal version of Terrell Owens. Enjoy this Middle Finger...maybe it will help you think. If it doesn't, I'm sure you can shove it up Charlie Batch's anus. Get your head out of your ass and be a man.