Tuesday, February 05, 2008

The Middle Finger: Terrelle Pryor

First things first, people that devote their lives to following college recruiting are losers. I mean seriously, what are the odds that a blue-chipper actually performs to their expectations...10%? 20%? Yet some people insist on treating these 18 year old high school seniors like saviors who will take their programs to new heights. It's a practice of false hopes and likely disappointments. And with National Signing Day for college football coming tomorrow, these dorks are all over mainstream media spewing out random facts and projections. Most kids don't make a major spectacle of the whole thing though. They know where they are going to go to school and make their decision known right away to avoid the media circus of nerds. Except for one kid.

And that is why this week's Middle Finger goes to Terrelle Pryor.

I know what you are thinking, how can you attack an 18 year old kid? Have you not read my stuff before...I do this shit all the time! Everyone is fair game. Especially punk-ass prima donnas who think that they are bigger than the game itself.

Pryor is apparently the #1 high school senior in the country and has had colleges falling all over themselves to talk to him for the past few years. He has known for the past few years who the real players were and where the best situation for him would be. And yet, we wait. He still doesn't know where he wants to play ball. Even with Signing Day tomorrow, he is now "80-90% sure" that he will make up his mind by tomorrow. Fuck you, Terrelle, we aren't naive. You know where you are going. You've already made up your mind. Why keep dragging this shit out?

You know why this is grinding my gears though? Because the last two days, on my way to and from work listening to the local sports talk radio, the Sportscenter updates didn't lead with the Super Bowl or Bobby Knight dying/quitting, they lead with a "Terrelle Pryor Update". THAT is what pisses me off. This kid is getting more attention in central Ohio than the goddamn Super Bowl! He's 18 fucking years old and statistics will show that he has a greater chance of shitting the bed than he does of playing on Sundays. And I know what you're thinking in the pedophiliac mind of yours, "that's the media's fault, it's not Terrelle's." Well, you're wrong. If he would just announce the decision that he made in his head long, long ago, we wouldn't have to deal with this insanity.

According to his website (yeah, he has one), he takes Charlie Batch with him almost everywhere to help him with the recruiting process. Charlie Batch??? How is a guy that played at Eastern Michigan going to help a kid handle the rigors of big-time recruiting? Or maybe Chaz is making a last ditch pitch for the Eagles?

All could be forgiven (for the most part, I still hate me-first athletes) if he just makes his decision tomorrow. But I doubt he will, he wants this to keep escalating until he gets his own ESPN reality show. Or a new car from Tressel's brother or a sack with a dollar sign on it from Richie Rodriguez. And that is the worst part. It's believed to be down to Ohio State and Michigan as his final destinations. So think about this, if he waits until a week or two to pick, the loser in this is fucked. Not just for this year, but for a few years. Especially Michigan. DickRod is putting all of his eggs in Pryor's basket to come in and run his spread offense for the next 4 years. If Pryor comes here (Columbus) but doesn't announce that until March, what does Michigan do? They have NO QB (which would be good because my Redhawks play them this Fall). Same thing with Ohio State but not nearly as obvious. If the best that they have is 40 year old Todd Boeckman, they need him, too. And it's clear that they have no one else. He's holding these programs hostage. And that's bullshit.

So fuck you, Terrelle Pryor, you are an asshole. Just make up your fucking mind already. You are nothing more than a newer, less suicidal version of Terrell Owens. Enjoy this Middle Finger...maybe it will help you think. If it doesn't, I'm sure you can shove it up Charlie Batch's anus. Get your head out of your ass and be a man.


Anonymous said...

If you haven't heard enough about the Super Bowl in the last two weeks you have issues. As for Pryor, I agree with you. I don't want him at Ohio State becuase he seems like a selfish spoiled brat. They would be better off without him. They still have Antonio "I love hookers" Henton as their mobile black quarterback. Supposedly, he is going to announce tomorrow because he is no longer making a trip to Oregon. I have to say, I think he is going to Michigan. "Tricky" Dick Rodriguez will find a way (legal or not) to get him to Michigan, so they can have another quarterback go 0-4 against Ohio State.

On a separate note, I was looking forward to some Super Tuesday talk today. I know how you love poltics and I wanted some lively debates on the issues of the day.


Anonymous said...

I am one of those pathetic losers that you speak of that follows recruiting for 365 days a year and already knows the top Juniors in the state of Ohio. It's a guilty pleasure that I have followed since middle school...but, I don't really have a problem with TP dragging this out..many do...what I do have a problem with is that he has known that he is going to OSU for the longest time. The top kids in this class, like Michael Brewster from Florida committed to OSU months ago and have worked their asses off with other kids to help recruit and in turn this has been BY FAR the best class that Tressel has ever had. But, it only would have helped if Pryor had also committed earlier and helped work other kids since he is the QB of the class. That's what pisses me off.

Either way...I'm going to be thrilled when he announces for OSU tomorrow and Dick Rod is left with his shitty 3-star QB from Florida and his garbage Dominick Britt character from Trotwood, OH.

If Josh Jenkins commits with Pryor tomorrow to OSU, then Tress will have one of the top 2 or 3 classes in the country.


GMoney said...

How about a special mention Middle Finger to anyone who thinks that these presidential candidates give a fuck about them??? Or that any of these idiots are going to make a difference? Go watch some more Britt Hume.

I did re-register to vote yesterday though. It will be the first time since the pres. election of '04. I'm a great American. USA! USA! USA!

1460 should be embarrassed for talking about Pryor at all yesterday.

Anonymous said...

Damman...you gotta be kidding me that you don't want him at OSU. If nothing else....getting him takes away the catalyst of the Dick Rod era and he loses his first big battle with OSU. But, I also want him because he's an absolute freak and teh Buckeyes offensive short yardage situations and goal line situations will be absolutely deadly with him playing a Tebow-like role next year. Plus, with an athletic mobile QB like him and one of the best offensive line classes ever coming in...the possibilities are endless.

Don't be worried about him going to Michigan tomorrow...he's an OSU lock...mark it down.

-- Drew

GMoney said...

Since you consider yourself somewhat of an expert on this topic, Drew, am I off when I say that only 10-20% of these 5 star kids end up being good players?

J Beanie said...

To get your Super Bowl fix, the New York Giants won.

Pryor is just doing what he is being told what to do. Yeah, he could have not listened and announced his decision earlier but that's not as much fun for the adults living their lives through him.

You kind of made the point why this is such a big deal and will be broadcast live at noon on ESPN (that's why he'll make the decision tomorrow. No way he gets national media to his high school and tells them "I haven't picked yet. Come back next month." He would be to beat up in the media for that.) Two major programs that are hated rivals are trying for the same guy. Not only that, both need him badly (Michigan more so). That's what makes it such a big deal. You're telling me if you were an 18 year old kid with that kind of talent and two of the best programs in the history of college football were pining after you day after day, you would love it and soak up as much of the spotlight as you could. I know you I would. And I think you would be doing it while not even trying to hide your 4 in erection. I'll leave work tomorrow to go home and watch the press conference. Go Blue!

Anonymous said...

I should probably soften my stance. It's not that I really don't want him. It's more like I am not going to lose any sleep if OSU doesn't get him. Ever since Maurice Clarret, I am a little scared of the "can't miss" high school phenom. Although Clarret was awesome in his one year, he caused more headaches and negative press than any Buckeye in history. I guess none of us really know for sure what kind of guy he is, but he seems like he could be trouble.


GMoney said...

Beanie, that is EXACTLY why guy's like this are loathed. They beg for the spotlight to be on them constantly. He's done nothing yet but we are supposed to treat him like a superstar??? Fuck that, I'll spit on his ass (that isn't supposed to sound as gay as it does).

Anonymous said...


I think the 5-Star success rate as good college players is pretty high...you might close with your 20% superstar percentage...

A Quick Look...in 2005 there were 28 5-Stars on Rivals...here are the damn good players...

*Darren McFadden, Alex Boone, Desean Jackson, Ryan Perrilloux, Kenny Phillips, Jonathon Stewart, Mark Sanchez, Rey Maualuga. All of those guys except Perrilloux will probably be first rounders. To be fair...the number one player was Derrick Williams and he sucks at PSU.

*2004 there were 25 five-stars...the stars...Adrian Peterson, Ted Ginn, Dan Connor, Fred Davis, Derrick Harvey, Early Doucet. Morelli was # 12.

*2003 there were 25 five-stars..the stars...Ernie Sims, Reggie Bush, Jarvis Moss....bad year as those are the only ones.

So, I think you are pretty right on...but usually the top 5 guys turn out to be studs and Pryor is definitely one of those.


Anonymous said...

FWIW...3 of the 4 members of Michigan's Rivals Site Staff made their predicitions today and picked Pryor to OSU. These guys bought all into the DickRod/Pryor hype weeks ago and were all sure he was going there...they have now seen the writing on the wall and realize that Michigan just got into the party too late.


Lil' Strut said...

Pryor has to be going to Ohio State and I think he has known for sometime. The evidence to support this is too much to ignore. The fact that Tressel isn't recruiting any more QB's when in all reality it is a definite need, the fact that DickRod is recruiting QBs/ATH non-stop. Also the fact that Pryor has been friends w/ half of Ohio State's recruiting class for months now (some of whom have hinted hes coming to OSU).

I don't really hold it against him for waiting this long. When you're an 18 year old kid who doesn't have a childhood favorite or anything you are going to want to explore your options, and seeing as how every school in the country wants this kid, he has a lot of options. Also,the fact that he is 18 year old and has head football coaches from some of the most legendary football programs across the country telling him hes the next thing at their school, that would be pretty overwhelming for a kid who probably hasn't even attended his Sr. Prom yet. Put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself "even if I had a pretty good idea of where I was going, wouldn't I want to evaluate all these great offers to figure out what is best for me and my family." The factors for a player of his ability are endless too. Location, Coaches, Offensive Style, NFL probability, Campus, etc...and when he has to do this for 10s of schools, dont deny this would be tough.

However, I agree too much media emphasis is being put on it, and this is coming from a Die-Hard OSU fan who wants this kid to come. It seems as if everytime this kid sneezes someone has to report on it...unless he says anything definite or something that at the very least changes what we already know, then don't waste our time.

Anonymous said...

Great stuff G-Money. I'm with you 100%, he can take taht middle finger and put it up Batche's Anus. Tereylle "Richard I luv Dicks" Pryror may be a good athlete. But I for one hope he is a bust, turns out to be nothing. How does someone of this Prima Donna stature going to fit in with Tressel? AKA Maurice Clarinet! and Troy Smith was a Prima Donna his first year(somehow he got straightened out). Pryor sitiuation will be much tougher then Troy's for Tressel to fix. For Tressel sake he better hope he can. So TP SCREW YOU!

Anonymous said...

All you OSU fans are of course convinced that he is coming to OSU. Why wouldn't you be, it is one of his top two picks. But in all reality, no one has a dick in their hand clue where he is going to end up. Obviously he wants to be with RichRod since he changed his pick from WVU to Michigan as soon as he left. Now it is down to two programs, one of which he probably will be a starter for sure in a spread offense that he loves, and the other of which is OSU who has lost 2 straight title games and already has a spread QB to do their magic. The crack-head wears a Michigan Sweat shirt to the Army/Navy All-American game and then puts a buckeye sticker on his helmet (which I believe friends of his did trying to convince him to go to OSU). Lets wait to see what this D-bag does and then I will decide if I like him or not. I'll tell you one thing though, it will probably come down to who pays him the most.

New subscriber to GMoney Blog
-Jon Saul

ps. I was the one wanting a John Snoad blag post as well, just forgot to sign my name.

GMoney said...

Welcome aboard, Jonny!!!